Funny Christmas

'Farting in a lift.... it's wrong on so many levels' A sh*t load of dad jokes that have been compiled and created by Joe King to entertain Dad's (and mums!) on whilst on the toilet. With over 500 jokes, you will love this! A superb gift to those dad's who think they are funny yet actually need some new jokes!

What sounds good at the bar may seem crazy the next day. Holly is the most studious of her sorority sisters, for her it's books, books, books. But when her hot billionaire hero gets bombarded with matchmaking mama antics, she steps up to help. So what if he’s attractive, elusive, and only wants temporary. She can be close to Chance without falling in love with him. Chance Kentwell likes to go fast and seize all of life’s joys. His only loyalties are to his stock portfolio, his graduation plans, and his billionaire brothers. When he sees his oldest brother speeding toward an engagement ...

The Riptide is professional baseball’s newest team. It’s also the worst. The players are washed up, lazy, and should have retired a long time ago. Tommy is the team’s biggest fan. He goes to every home game, watches the away games on TV, and even blogs about the Riptide. He knows everything there is know about baseball but is the worst player in his local Little League. So how did he end up on baseball’s biggest stage? Will Panzell is the owner of the team. He’s also completely nuts. He lies, cheats, and schemes to sell tickets to Riptide games. His latest stunt is so bananas it ...

If she gives you butterflies, brace for trouble. I’m Spencer Dalton—former football star turned sports agent. My life runs on discipline and strategy, not chaos. After a career-ending injury, I rebuilt my world with structure, focus, and a solid plan. Then Sloane Thompson comes along, the walking definition of unpredictable. She’s a creative whirlwind who turns my carefully ordered world upside down when we’re thrown together for a Christmas charity event. Sloane’s spark is impossible to ignore. She’s passionate, fiery, and full of life—the complete opposite of everything I ...

When a romantic Christmas movie starts filming in Crystal Falls, no one thought murder was part of the script. A motion picture company chooses Crystal Falls as the setting for their romantic Christmas movie but when a crew member is murdered and the star of the film is poisoned, Luke and Bandit rush in to solve another mystery in their small hometown. Deadly “accidents” start to plague the production and sightings of an off-balance celebrity stalker sets everyone on edge. Luke searches for clues with help from the telepathic link he shares with his dog Bandit, his cop crush Brooke, and...

Christmas in a mountain town teaches more than one resident what it truly means to forgive. Struggling to take care of his deaf son in a town with no resources, Ethan Knight’s at the end of his rope. When his son is kicked out of preschool, he feels he’s out of options and prays for a miracle. A newcomer to Snow Globe, Montana may be his answer to prayer. London Meriwether leaves her home after the passing of her grandmother, the woman who raised her. She falls in love with Snow Globe, Montana. The small town seems close to perfect. When she meets Ethan Knight, she discovers a way to ...

Kristmas in Kristin- Kristin was seeing stars, the Christmas lights around them blurring in her vision until she had to slam her eyes shut. She was going over the edge any second and she wanted it exactly like she’d always envisioned. Pulling him to her with her thighs, she wrapped her legs around his neck, putting pressure on him until his poor ears were suctioned to her skin. Joey had never felt something so good in his life but he didn’t dare say it. Then she would know, know he was a virgin. She cried out when she fell apart, needing Joey’s arm around her back to keep her from ...

What if Mr. Martin had proposed to Harriet in person instead of writing a letter, thus receiving an acceptance rather than a refusal? Thus begins Harriet's Secret... When Mr. Martin visits Harriet one morning and proposes, she joyfully says yes without hesitation. But when she meets with Emma to deliver the happy news, confusion abounds—Emma thinks it's Mr. Elton who has proposed, and upon Harriet's clarification that it was not Mr. Elton but Mr. Martin, Emma assumes that Harriet refused the man—and poor Harriet leads Emma to believe she had refused him! When Mr. Knightley offers his ...

I'm dreaming of a white...poodle. It's been over two months since Sophie helped solve the mystery of a sabotaged wedding. Now that she and Andy are exclusively dating, she tries to put the past behind her and focus on the possibilities that the Christmas season brings. They even find time to go on double dates with Lexie and Daniel, although they try not to spend too much time with those love birds since their over-the-top displays of affection tend to be nauseating. The town of Sweetwater is decked out for the holiday season, from wreaths on the lamp posts to a large Christmas tree in the ...

Rockstar dreams don’t come true, at least not for Jayla Bennett. So why is Spencer living out all his dreams touring the country while his ex-girlfriend/former bandmate is stuck struggling through mundane days at a 9-5 she can’t stand? Was it a case of bad timing? Did life get in the way? Or did Spencer just not love her enough to reach out when Reciprocity finally hit it big? Spencer’s avoided his hometown like the plague since leaving four years ago. He hasn’t set foot in Graybush, let alone the house he grew up in, not since his mother died right beside his dreams of going to ...

MY SPECIAL STAR Read it FREE as part of your Kindle Unlimited membership I couldn't sleep that night; I was wide awake, I heard a loud noise and I started to shake. Then I went out to the yard to look around, A very bright light was shining on the ground.

Read all of Cindy Blackburn's Cozy Mysteries for FREE with Kindle Unlimited! Welcome to Lake Elizabeth, Vermont, where Santa Claus is due to arrive any day now, and Cassie Baxter is going nuts. Who wouldn’t go nuts? This is her first Christmas with her adopted son Truman, and she’s determined to make it memorable. But that human skull the kid found when he was searching for Christmas decorations in the attic wasn’t exactly part of the plan. And Joe Wylie, Cassie’s supposed boyfriend, isn’t making life any easier during this frantic week before the holiday either. Then there’s ...

It's a secret Santa whodunnit! "No doughnuts on Tuesdays!" "No Christmas trees allowed!" When their Grinchy landlord posts a stack of crazy proclamation flyers, it rattles an oddball assortment of residents in an apartment complex. But then on a quiet night in, festive gifts mysteriously appear on doorknobs and doormats-- and the game of Guess Who is afoot. The evening turns into a maze of clues as tenants tally gifts, prowl the halls, chase shadows and even run into a little romance before the surprising culprit is caught. And no, it's not the landlord! Ha-ha This holiday short story is ...

Wrapped in Love: A Christmas Story of Forgiveness and Second Chances Lisa is a smart, sexy bombshell who sees men only as a source of pleasure. She never dates exclusively, and there's a reason she never lets them stay all night. Mark is a lawyer and single dad who's focused on raising his young daughter. Love? No thanks, he’s got enough on his plate trying to explain why Santa can’t bring a new mom. But when Lisa struts into Mark's law office, his orderly world turns upside down. He can’t stop thinking about her, like a Christmas gift wrapped in glitter and bows that he just has to ...

Hello, I’m Star. I’m smart, I’m green, and I love nothing more than collecting beautiful objects and hiding them in my secret lair. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my hobby. Well, they don’t understand the art of collecting like I do, do they!? Just imagine, I take one little ornament from the Christmas tree and the mum two-legs says, “Star! You naughty cat!” Hey, do they really expect me to leave all the purrfect shiny thingies on the tree? Ok, ok, I admit. I could try leaving them alone. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...

Cupid SantaAn imperfect man and a desperate woman. Driven to find her perfect match, Brie Simpson sets out for Cupid, Texas to test the superstition of dancing naked around the statue to discover true love. Only, to learn destiny betrayed her when she gets handcuffed. After complaints about people dancing naked around the statue, Deputy Stephen Austin is determined to arrest anyone he catches. With good reason he doesn’t believe in the magic of Cupid. When he finds himself in a jam, with no one to help plan the annual Christmas party, he’s forced to turn to his prisoner. Can Cupid bring...

Christmas in Colorado was a time for hotwives and Cassidy Hewitt was excited for her first time. Cass heard the whispers when she entered the room, a dimly lit bar filled with holiday cheer in her tiny hometown of Ledge Hill, Colorado. She was home for the holidays and out on the town, an impromptu class reunion with people she hadn’t seen in fifteen years. She’d been terrible about returning texts and keeping up with social media, and she hoped that would work to her advantage tonight. If nobody knew her, no one would have any idea what she was up to. Joe couldn’t look away and ...

The Boy Next Door Sharing a whole hell of a lot more than a cup of sugar with the boy next door. While Elliot's away, Brooke will play. Brooke and Matty should have been burning up the sheets 10 years ago. But we can’t always get what we want… Or can we? Brooke is out of excuses to not visit her family for Thanksgiving. There's an extra spot set at the table, a sexy stranger takes up residence. Except, the stranger’s not a stranger he's Matty Naverly. Strong and fit, filling out his jeans in just the right way, Matty looks more delectable than the big meal ever could. When Matty and ...

¡Si tan solo no estuviera tan solo! Leer este título de forma gratuita con tu suscripción ilimitado Kindle. Más allá de las más altas montañas, en bosques muy lejanos, Hay un paraíso sin tigres donde viven solo animales sanos. Se esconden de los salvajes depredadores y viven tranquilamente, Comiendo muchos vegetales y frutas, todo muy felizmente.

Wright is a self-proclaimed word nerd, English language enthusiast, and expert in navigating the absurdities of the world’s quirkiest language. With years of experience untangling grammar inconsistencies and deciphering bizarre spelling rules, Wright explores why "colonel" sounds nothing like it’s spelled, how "read" can mean two different things, and why "i before e except after c" is a complete myth. This book is perfect for lovers of language humor, grammar geeks, and anyone who’s ever questioned why "queue" needs four extra letters—or why "ghoti" can theoretically spell "fish." ...