Fiction Suspense Humor

There's a murderer on the loose - but that doesn't stop the girls of St. Etheldreda's from attempting to hide the death of their headmistress in this rollicking farce. The students of St. Etheldreda's School for Girls face a bothersome dilemma. Their irascible headmistress, Mrs. Plackett, and her surly brother, Mr. Godding, have been most inconveniently poisoned at Sunday dinner.

In his latest bizarre concoction, Dorsey picks up - sort of - various plot strands from his earlier books, including Florida Roadkill, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, and Orange Crush. There's still the matter, you see, of the briefcase full of cash, and still unresolved are the stories of Serge Storms, the serial killer and history buff; Johnny Vegas, the startlingly handsome virgin; Jethro Maddox, the Hemingway look-alike; and Paul, the Passive-Aggressive Private Eye. Fans of Dorsey's magnificently off-kilter adventures will be thrilled to rejoin these characters....

When Izzy Spellman, PI, is arrested for the fourth time in three months, she writes it off as a job hazard. She's been (obsessively) keeping surveillance on a suspicious next door neighbor (suspect's name: John Brown), convinced he's up to no good - even if her parents (the management at Spellman Investigations) are not.

Unhappy Penelope Lumley is trapped in unhappy Plinkst! Even the beets for which Plinkst is inexplicably famous fail to grow in this utterly miserable Russian village. Penelope anxiously counts the days and wonders how she will ever get back to England in time to save all the Ashtons—who, she now knows, include herself and the Incorrigible children, although their precise location on the family tree is still a mystery—from their accursèd fate.

Goldy Schulz has a lucrative new gig, preparing breakfasts and conference-room snacks for a local law firm. It's time-consuming, but Goldy is enjoying it, until the night she arrives to find Dusty, the firm's paralegal, dead.

Rhiannon Lewis should be happy. Her cheating fiancé is in jail – framed for the depraved killing spree she committed. Her ex-lover is chopped up and buried where no-one will find him. But there’s one small problem. She’s pregnant. And as much as Rhiannon wants to continue working her way through her kill lists, a small voice inside is trying to make her stop. Now Rhiannon has to choose – motherhood or murder.

It all starts with a school essay. Twelve-year-old Gratuity “Tip” Tucci is assigned to write five pages on “The True Meaning of Smekday” for the National Time Capsule contest, and she’s not sure where to begin: When her mom started telling everyone about the messages aliens were sending through a mole on the back of her neck? Maybe on Christmas Eve, when huge, bizarre spaceships descended to Earth, and aliens - called the Boov - abducted her mother?

Stella is enjoying life as an almost student, or at least she is until a man falls from the sky right in front of her, leaving a big old hole in the pavement for Manchester Council to fill. The obvious question of how he ended up in the sky in the first place has no obvious answers, which is where The Stranger Times come in. This isn't just the hunt for another story though. Dark powers think Stella might have been involved and the only way she and the team can prove her innocence is to find out what the hell is really going on.

Abounding in Southern charm, Miss Julia Paints the Town finds the plucky North Carolinian pushed to the limit by a daunting heap of difficulties. Already trying to help three friends find their missing husbands, Miss Julia also must concoct a scheme to chase a slick New Jersey developer away from Abbotsville. But perhaps she's bitten off a bit more than she can chew.

MCM Investigations are back! Although Brigit isn’t sure for how long. Money is tight, business is slow, and her partner, Paul, has been temporarily crippled due to her attempts to be in two places at once; one place being at the bottom of a ladder. It’s therefore manna from heaven when an old friend comes to them in need of help.

Death on the Seine - a delightful cozy mystery set in Paris, a city where food, wine, and crime make life worth living… along with a few books and Mercury, the cat. For Ava Sext, a transplanted Londoner who sells books from an outdoor stand overlooking the Seine, her day goes from bad to worse when the tall, handsome stranger whose appearance her horoscope predicted disappears after he is almost killed before her eyes. And that's before she discovers that he supposedly died weeks earlier. With the help of her fellow bookseller, Henri DeAth, a former notary in a country where notaries are ...

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. He is handsome, sophisticated, charming, and intelligent. He is also a psychopath. And he is taking us to a head-on collision with America's greatest dream - and its worst nightmare...

For the past year and a half, Willem has been an outcast in his hometown. Everyone believes he’s a killer. On top of the murder accusations, his “biofuel/fertilizer” business is failing. He’s well over knee-deep in inventory with no chance of a sale in sight. When Murven, his out-of-work best buddy, volunteers to help him with his daily collection, they discover Willem is stockpiling more than he bargained for as an "entre-manure."

Join Nate the Great and his trusty companion, Sludge, in solving the greatest mysteries a boy could search for. In this collection, Nate hunts down a lost grocery list, a favorite stamp, a genius pet, a beach bag, a yucky valentine, second base, and an evil, book-destroying monster.

It's Field Day at South School, and this year the winner will get to choose a coveted prize for his or her homeroom. Harry is determined to choose the prize, but Doug worries at what cost. When his best friend starts winning challenges with his unconventional techniques, the rest of Room 3B responds in kind. A disastrous tug-of-war shows the class that winning isn't everything, and revenge isn't as sweet as it might seem.

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Junie B. is the bestest spyer in the whole world. That's 'cause she has sneaky feet. And her nose doesn't whistle when she breathes. But guess what? Junie B. might be real sneaky. And real peeky. But when she spies on Mrs., she could get into real trouble!

Miss Julia has promised her husband, Sam, to mind her own business. What a relief! She doesn't have to spring into action when a dead body is found in a toolshed six blocks from her house. Instead, she can concentrate on what's really important-like figuring out who's been passing bad checks in her name and, most important, preparing for Hazel Marie's impending due date. Then again, who else can figure out why that awful Thurlow Jones is trying to cast suspicion on someone Miss Julia feels certain is innocent? And, after all, what Sam doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

It’s a club like no other. Only the most important women receive an invitation. But one daring young reporter is about to infiltrate this female-run secret society, whose bewitching members are caught up in a dark and treacherous business. From the author of Happy and You Know It.

An eye for an eye. Things are looking pretty bleak for Hank the Cowdog. First he gets sick on poisoned bacon grease. Then he accidentally trips Sally May - and she ends up with a broken ankle. And if that's not bad enough, he gets stuck playing dress-up with Amy and Ashley, Little Alfred's cousins. But when Tuerto the Killer Stud Horse breaks free and charges at the girls, Hank knows it's up to him to protect them. He'll show that one-eyed horse who's boss - even if it means risking his own life!