Family Humor

I knocked up my one-night stand. Well, it started as a one-night stand. Veronica left the next morning with a promise: she'd knock on my hotel room door the next time she passed through Las Vegas. Color me shocked when she actually followed through. The year after that, too. And the year after that. Is a once-a-year fling a thing? Because we perfected it. Until last night—when she showed up with a baby. Our baby. I didn’t even know Veronica’s last name, and now we have a daughter together. One look into those big brown eyes and I was done for. Forget casual. I want the whole damn ...

In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all - beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn.

When Jack and Elizabeth meet as college students in the gritty '90s Chicago art scene, the two quickly join forces and hold on tight, each eager to claim a place in the thriving underground scene with an appreciative kindred spirit. Fast-forward twenty years to suburban married life, and alongside the challenges of parenting, they encounter the often-baffling pursuits of health and happiness from polyamorous would-be suitors to home-renovation hysteria.

Elsa is seven years old and different. Her grandmother is 77 years old and crazy, standing-on-the-balcony-firing-paintball-guns-at-men-who-want-to-talk-about-Jesus crazy. She is also Elsa's best and only friend. At night Elsa takes refuge in her grandmother's stories, in the Land of Almost-Awake and the Kingdom of Miamas, where everybody is different and nobody needs to be normal.

Lanie Coates' life is spinning out of control.

She's piled everything she owns into a U-Haul and driven with her husband, Peter, and their three little boys from their cozy Texas home to a multiflight walkup in the Northeast. She's left behind family, friends, and a comfortable life, all so her husband can realize his dream of becoming a professional musician. But somewhere in the eye of her personal hurricane, it hits Lanie that she once had dreams too.

Waylon has lots of ideas for making life more awesome through science, like teleportation, human gills, and attracting cupcakes by controlling gravity. But it's impossible for him to concentrate on his inventions when he's experiencing his own personal big bang.

Corrected and updated edition - November 5, 2024 Previously published as Caught by the Pitcher: The steamy and hilarious new runaway bride sports romcom by Biki Ash The spicy and hilarious new runaway bride sports romcom with a hunky sports star, curvy girl, age gap, and guaranteed HEA ending. Perfect for fans of Stephanie Archer and Elle Kennedy! If a hunky baseball star offered to give you anything you desired, what would you ask for? Jenny Mom told me I should accept my boyfriend’s proposal and settle down, raise a family, have a good life. She didn’t say anything about him cheating ...

I’ve finally found my muse. Turns out she’s been behind the front desk at my family’s luxury hotel this whole time—smiling shyly, trying to hide that she’s been a fan of my band for years. Marla’s sweet. A stunning redhead with curves made to be worshiped—and I plan to do exactly that, on my knees. One look from her shattered months of songwriter’s block and lit a fire in me I haven’t felt in years. Now I’m sneaking downstairs just to see her. Just to hear her laugh. Just to imagine what she sounds like when she’s gasping my name. But the girl I can’t stop writing ...

Join in the mayhem with Henry as he loses his TV, tries to sabotage his family's plans, has to change a nappy and much more in this mighty volume! Contains 10 Horrid Henry stories, performed by the show's full cast.

Jane has high hopes her life is about to turn around. After years of living precariously, she, her painter husband, Lenny, and their two kids have landed a stint as house sitters in a friend’s luxurious home high in the hills above Los Angeles, a gig that coincides magically with Jane’s sabbatical. If she can just finish her latest novel, Nusu Nusu, the centuries-spanning epic Lenny refers to as her “mulatto War and Peace,” she’ll have tenure and some semblance of stability and success within her grasp. But things don’t work out quite as hoped.

A cryptic clue. A missing professor. A town with more secrets than streetlamps. When small-town reporter Julia Wright receives an anonymous email about a decades-old scandal and the sudden disappearance of beloved but eccentric Professor Bing, she trades headlines for hidden clues. Known for her love of puzzles and her stubborn streak, Julia’s hardly the type to back down—even when the trail leads to her own family’s locked-away past. With her mischievous dog Cooper sniffing out trouble and a brooding detective who’d rather she stay out of it, Julia plunges into a world of cryptic ...

Willy Wonka's famous chocolate factory is opening at last! But only five lucky children will be allowed inside. And the winners are: Augustus Gloop, an enormously fat boy whose hobby is eating; Veruca Salt, a spoiled-rotten brat whose parents are wrapped around her little finger; Violet Beauregarde, a dim-witted gum-chewer with the fastest jaws around; Mike Teavee, a toy pistol-toting gangster-in-training who is obsessed with television; and Charlie Bucket, our hero, a boy who is honest and kind, brave and true, and good and ready for the wildest time of his life!

Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it.

Jason Mckinney never expected to find a zombie on the downstairs toilet, but apparently, everything eventually runs out of toilet paper at the worst possible time. Enter the *Federated Alliance of Rare Things, specifically created for those embarrassing bathroom moments, and the McKinney family, recruited as the latest Saviour of the Bog Roll. The paycheque is out of this world. Jason has kids, a house that needs some desperate upkeep, and a chupacabra falling in love with him. Life as a saviour is interesting, sometimes terrifying, and frequently lavender scented.

When sixty-five-year-old Bindu Desai inherits a million dollars, she’s astounded—and horrified. The windfall threatens to expose a shameful mistake from her youth. On an impulse, Bindu quickly spends it on something unexpected: a condo in a posh retirement community in Florida. The impulsive decision blindsides Bindu’s daughter-in-law, Aly. At forty-seven, Aly still shares a home with Bindu even after her divorce from Bindu’s son. But maybe this change is just the push Aly needs to fight for her own dreams.

Performance artists Caleb and Camille Fang dedicated themselves to making great art. But when an artist's work lies in subverting normality, it can be difficult to raise well-adjusted children. Just ask Buster and Annie Fang. For as long as they can remember, they starred (unwillingly) in their parents' madcap pieces. But now that they are grown up, the chaos of their childhood has made it difficult to cope with life outside the fishbowl of their parents' strange world.

Marnie MacGraw wants an ordinary life - a husband, kids, and a minivan in the suburbs. Now that she’s marrying the man of her dreams, she’s sure this is the life she’ll get. Then Marnie meets Blix Holliday, her fiancé’s irascible matchmaking great-aunt who’s dying, and everything changes - just as Blix told her it would. When her marriage ends after two miserable weeks, Marnie is understandably shocked.

Thanks to the efforts of Miss Penelope Lumley, their plucky governess, Alexander, Beowulf, and Cassiopeia are much more like children than wolf pups now. They are accustomed to wearing clothes. They hardly ever howl at the moon. And for the most part, they resist the urge to chase squirrels up trees.

Eleanor Oliphant leads a simple life. She wears the same clothes to work every day, eats the same meal deal for lunch every day and buys the same two bottles of vodka to drink every weekend. Eleanor Oliphant is happy. Nothing is missing from her carefully timetabled life. Except, sometimes, everything. One simple act of kindness is about to shatter the walls Eleanor has built around herself. Now she must learn how to navigate the world that everyone else seems to take for granted – while searching for the courage to face the dark corners she’s avoided all her life.

Of especially naughty children it is sometimes said, "They must have been raised by wolves." The Incorrigible children actually were. Turning sixteen is a bittersweet occasion for Miss Penelope Lumley: Her parents remain disappointingly absent, and her perfectly nice young playwright friend, Simon Harley-Dickinson, has not been heard from since he went to visit his ailing great-uncle Pudge in the old sailors' home in Brighton.