Dragon Fantasy Humor

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

Sometimes, there are stories about other people. But if you read between the lines, you'll find that most stories are about me: Brandon Thighmaster. And why wouldn't they be? You can have your tales of daring-do and double-crossing rogues, sure, but that's kind of the story bread, you know? Useless carbs. You want to get to the meat of the story, that's where the rich protein is.

Three-thousand-year-old Miss Drake has arranged to send her dear pet Winnie to The Spriggs Academy, an extraordinary school for humans and magicals alike. Winnie is particularly excited about magic class and having Sir Isaac Newton for science. She's also making new friends - and frenemies.... When a plot to snatch Winnie from her San Francisco home is uncovered, Miss Drake is ready to use all her cunning and magic to thwart it. Not that feisty Winnie needs the help....

Through bravery, daring, and more than a little bluffing, ex-pharmaceutical salesman James Christianson has managed to make it so far as a hero in his adopted land. However, he now finds himself facing worse odds than he has in the past. Leading a small band of followers, he desperately wants to recover the Persona stones and his beloved queen. However, he has no idea how he will find either. He soon learns that his answer resides in the Great Plateau, an epic mesa that is so high it is nearly impossible to scale. Finding a way there is a great challenge. But, in comparison, it is minor to ...

Hi. I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster.

Contains books two and three of the Scales 'n' Spells series. Breath: Tori was doing great until sexy dragon Baldewin interfered. Between the little gifts, constant protection, and the steadfast confidence from the overgrown lizard, Tori wonders if maybe that last step needs revising. Wish: North has a map of Europe, a dragon scale, and a little bit of magic. He’s currently short a dragon, but all in good time, right? Right. Because he can totally dodge dangerous men and frustrated calls from his family, all while searching for a dragon during the Christmas season.

The Fairest of Them All Particularly if we're talking about cold, hard justice. I am the law, at least I am until I'm framed for murder by those who resent my competence at cutting through red tape and the underbellies of corrupt mages. Some call me cruel. All right, everyone calls me cruel, but when you need someone without scruples to go undercover and reveal the impossible, I'm the go-to witch. Apparently, because I'm also being forced to work with the mage I'd like best to rip apart. Convenient that he's so hard to kill, or I just couldn't resist the temptation. He's the golden ...

The story continues in the 10th volume of Hiccup's How to Train Your Dragon memoirs read by David Tennant. When we last left Hiccup things were getting very dark indeed. The Dragon Rebellion has begun. Snotlout is the new Chief of the Hooligan Tribe. Stoick has been banished and given the Slavemark. And Alvin the Treacherous has eight of the King's Lost Things, and has been proclaimed the new King of the Wilderwest ... But what can Hiccup do, now all alone and in exile, hunted by both humans and dragons? Can he find the Dragon Jewel, mankind's last and only hope?

Gork isn't like the other dragons at WarWings Military Academy. He has a gigantic heart, two-inch horns, and an occasional problem with fainting. His nickname is Weak Sauce, and his Will to Power ranking is Snacklicious - the lowest in his class. But he is determined not to let any of this hold him back as he embarks on the most important mission of his life: Tonight, on the eve of his high school graduation, he must ask a female dragon to be his queen. If she says yes, they'll go off to conquer a foreign planet together. If she says no, Gork becomes a slave.

Dreamy fantasy stories have actually been a trend. They’ve inspired millions. As opposed to the lengthy novels, these stories are short but cut to the chase in an instant. They light up the weird and the uncanny, the marvelous as well as the fantastic: All the things we know are going beyond the reasonable and instantly realistic - into looking-glass, beyond the songs of the impossibly haunting violin, with the twisted trees of the ancient timbers.

Is it a gift or is it a curse? Jax Opus can use his color-changing eyes to make people do what he wants. But soon Jax is pulled into a dangerous conspiracy devised by a mysterious group...and now they're going to make Jax do what they want.

In the town of Squashbuckle, just about anything can happen, and when Henry Penwhistle draws a mighty Chalk Dragon on his door, the dragon does what Henry least expects - it runs away. Now Henry's art is out in the world for everyone to see, and it's causing trouble for him and his schoolmates Oscar and Jade. If they don't stop it, the entire town could be doomed! To vanquish the threat of a rampaging Chalk Dragon, Sir Henry Penwhistle, Knight of La Muncha Elementary School, is going to have to do more than just catch his art - he's going to have to let his imagination run wild.

Filled with zany traps and lots of rainbow unicorn fun, this chaotic chase centers around one of the most elusive mythical creatures ever - the unicorn!

The members of the motley crew that stumbled through that revolution are rich and praised as saviors. Everyone gets to live happily ever after, right? Right? Well, it might have worked out that way if the dragons in Kondorra had been the only ones. If they hadn't been just the tip of the spear about to fall upon the whole world....

A non-practicing seduction witch and a recovering dragon lord of lust will save the worlds if they don't destroy them first. Witley Pennmore, the wickedest witch of the east coast, has earned her place on the Senior Council, but she still doesn't know why a Sorcerer in Darkside is hanging her allies, and won't stop until she finds him and brings him to justice, or vengeance, whichever is most convenient. Meanwhile, Ian Featherwell, her unofficial ally is the latest target of assassination attempts on both his life and his character, as he tries to unravel the lies and corruption of the ...

Bishop Nigel smiled at me. ‘Holy water doesn’t harm vampires. Which is just as well, as it would make it impossible to baptise them.’ When I was asked by a dragon to give him the last rites, I never dreamed it would lead to negotiating with his cannibalistic family or running from snail sharks. Life as the priest of a small English village is quite tame in comparison. At least I have Morey, a gryphon with sarcasm management issues, to help me. And if all else fails, there’s always red wine and single malt whisky. As if my life weren’t complicated enough, a darkly beautiful dragon ...

Prophecy claims the apocalypse is neigh. To prevent a cataclysm, agents from all six factions converge on Gacestone to destroy the Chaos Core and kill its Founder. Meanwhile, in a struggle for potential life-saving power, Seth and his party turn to an ancient structure lying deep beneath the Chaos Dungeon, which doesn't let their expedition go unnoticed. See whether the new Chaos faction thrives or collapses under the pressure of Chaos Overwhelming.

My name is Logan Greenwood, and I’d rather be anywhere else. When I decided to come home to help my mom out of a rough spot, I had no idea how bad it would be. But when a freak storm kicks up and I literally get sucked into another world, family drama is the least of my worries. I couldn’t get home if I wanted to. And in this world–full of drop-dead gorgeous elves, nymphs, and dryads–the last thing on my mind is going home.

Rule #2 - There is no basement in the college library. If you see a door leading to the basement, inform a librarian immediately. (The entire library is strictly off limits during winter break.) ~*~ Ever since she was young, Kennedy Fisher has been obsessed with dragons. Now that she’s matured a little, she’s added Rex Draconis to her list of obsessions. Not that she needs more than two things on her list. I mean, a billionaire heir bad boy and dragons are probably more than enough to last her a lifetime, don’t you think? Anyways! Rex is nice enough, though she wouldn’t say he’s ...

Jobe and Paracleus might have split up, but they reunite again in a series of events from the Legends of Arria. An epic fantasy series, the Legends of Arria features a group of heroes trying to defeat the evil dark lord Doomba. Jobe and Paracleus get caught up in the drama. In these excerpts, Jobe becomes part of the Knights of Arria while Paracleus tries his best to protect Jobe from such dangerous shenanigans. They also meet a talking falcon named Fato, who is a bit peculiar and suspicious. Then all hell breaks loose as Jobe and Paracleus are separated, with Paracleus presumed dead. Can ...