Dragon Fantasy Humor

Tesser, the dragon of life itself, is one of seven: Earth’s primordial draconic guardians, destined to oversee its development and safety. Species rose and fell, and 10,000 years ago...Tesser disappeared. The golden dragon woke up this morning, buried deep beneath the city of Boston, with no idea how he got there, and no idea how humanity grew so fast and learned so much while he was away. He is lost, a fish out of water. Where is the magic? He’s got a lot of catching up to do if he’s going to find his missing sister and stop an incursion of daemons from beyond the Veil.

She’s a good girl. He’s a bad bear. Beverly Bow Mar finally has a chance to live her dream. She’ll start as an art gallery assistant in a few days. She’s worked so hard for this chance, and all she had to do was promise that she was not involved with her father or his vile clan of degenerates. Piece of cake. She wants nothing to do with them. She hasn’t so much as spoken to her father in years. Xavier, as a clan enforcer, is tasked with the unpleasant assignment of retrieving the alpha’s estranged daughter from the city and bringing her back to the clan clubhouse. Lovely. Go ...

Don’t awaken the stone of daybreak. Fort Deshmel stands as a bastion against the monsters. As the new Holy Woman, I’m purifying them in droves while living alongside various Mythical Beasts who are there to guard me against humans and monsters alike. It’s been a joy tending to the fields outside the fortress and creating new alchemy concoctions during my time here. But as the truth of the Stone of Daybreak—and of my lineage—comes to light, not to mention the new romantic developments in Dad and Nakona’s lives, it seems our peaceful days are numbered...

When John Hunter finds out he can get paid $5,000 for trapping a rogue chimera, it's game on. Now, he'll have a crash course on the goings-on of the secret underworld and more than a few bruises to prove his mettle. But not all is as straightforward as it may seem. There are those closest to Jonny who are more than they're letting on. And the humans in his life turn out to be the worst kind of monsters. Jonny may be able to save himself, if he wants to save the city from an unspeakable, ancient evil lurking in the shadows, he'll have to catch up fast.

Introducing The Enchanted Files! Told in diary entries and other “documents”, this magical, modern-day new comedy series by the master of funny fantasy, Bruce Coville is filled with laugh-out-loud humor and heart. In the first hilarious Enchanted Files, Angus is a brownie. No, not the kind you eat! He’s a tiny magical creature that loves to do chores. Angus has just “inherited” a new human girl, Alex. To say that Alex is messy would be an understatement. She’s a total hurricane-like disaster - and she likes it that way, thankyouverymuch!

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

Wesley Reed always regarded Chloe as a kid sister. Until he didn’t. That fateful night, he learned two terrifying facts—one, he is bear shifter, and two, Chloe is his mate. Determined to conceal both revelations for fear of ruining her promising future, Wesley leaves Jackson Valley. For good. Chloe Holt had a crush on her dad’s ranch hand, Wesley, since she was eight years old. No boy could compete with Wesley. The dream she had that he’d one day see her as a woman, not a girl, was shattered the night he disappeared without so much as a goodbye. Now, all these years later, fate ...

Steve, Rista, and Grint survived the first half of their trek across Arkana, but the dangers are only beginning. They have Lumina, the most powerful sword in Arkana, but it is slowly sucking the life force out of Steve. Now, they need to capture a dragon to carry them to their ultimate showdown with Mikol, bringer of darkness.

(The books in this series are complete standalones and do not need to be read in any particular order.) She came for the weather patterns. She stayed for the dragon. After her infamous "Sunshine Catastrophe" in Seattle, Meteorologist Penny Lane hopes the quirky mountain town of Emberdale will be her ticket back to forecasting fame. Instead, she discovers bizarre heat waves and electronics that fritz out for no reason. Penny is determined to get to the bottom of these scientific anomalies. Even if that means stalking the ridiculously handsome (and suspiciously toasty) Darius Flametail. ...

Life in Meteoropolis is as eventful as usual. Whether it's Blossom the Flower Sprite campaigning to get the Nightmare Girls to join our Streamer House, the failures of the Brock Point System causing humorous drama, or multiple Dream Girls about to give birth, well, I've had my draconic hands full. But none of that scares me now that the Void Cartel is a thing of the past.

Filled with action, romance, and humor, Pure of Heart is a fantasy thrill ride into a land filled with wonder and excitement. Orphaned and alone, rogue-teen Dean Walker has learned how to take care of himself on the rough city streets. Unjustly wanted by the police, he takes refuge within the shadows of the city. When Dean stumbles upon an old man being mugged, he tries to help—only to discover that the victim is anything but helpless and far more than he appears. The old man claims to be from Kish another world that’s being destroyed. He’s traveled through a portal called the middle ...

It is strange enough that Odo and Eleanor have stumbled upon a sword in a dried-up river outside their village. It is even stranger that Odo is able to remove it from where it's buried. And it's remarkably strange when the sword starts to talk. Odo and Eleanor have unearthed Biter, a famous fighter from earlier times. By finding Biter, Odo instantly becomes a knight - a role he is exquisitely unsuited for. Eleanor, however, would make a perfect knight - but she's not the one with the sword.

This author has over 4,500 four- and five-star ratings on Amazon Great feedback from early readers: *This is a great weekend, get away from the world book. *Two best friends set out to find answers. *light-hearted book takes Tanner though plot twists and turns A dragon appears above a village so small it has no name. The same day, Tanner, an orphan, inherits only a sword, and a medallion. He also finds a warrant issued which demands he be delivered unharmed to the King's Protector years ago, which would made him only five or six years old at the time. The warrant is his only clue. He must ...

A wonderful collection of short stories by master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, featuring dragons, dinosaurs, cavemen and car races! Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur's knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It's a disaster! Luckily, there's a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who's willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers.

Todo el mundo sabe que solo hay una cosa que a los dragones les gusta más que las fiestas y los tacos y es una fiesta de tacos. Pero hay algunos detalles que hay que tener en cuenta si das una fiesta de tacos: a los dragones les encantan los tacos de pollo, los de carne, los tacos gigantes y los pequeñitos. Para decidir cuántos tacos vas a necesitar para la fiesta, llena un barco de tacos y esa será la cantidad adecuada. Pero ten muy presente que no debe haber ninguna salsa picante, porque, si no, ¡la cosa se pone verdaderamente en llamas!

Sometimes, there are stories about other people. But if you read between the lines, you'll find that most stories are about me: Brandon Thighmaster. And why wouldn't they be? You can have your tales of daring-do and double-crossing rogues, sure, but that's kind of the story bread, you know? Useless carbs. You want to get to the meat of the story, that's where the rich protein is.

It's been two months since Alice TodHunter Moon - who insists on being called Tod - left her home in the seaside PathFinder village to pursue a life of Magyk in the Castle. Being Apprentice to ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap is tricky, though - there's loads of new Magyk to learn, and she dearly misses her friends, Oskar and Ferdie. But at least she's mastered the UnSeen Charm.

Three-thousand-year-old Miss Drake has arranged to send her dear pet Winnie to The Spriggs Academy, an extraordinary school for humans and magicals alike. Winnie is particularly excited about magic class and having Sir Isaac Newton for science. She's also making new friends - and frenemies.... When a plot to snatch Winnie from her San Francisco home is uncovered, Miss Drake is ready to use all her cunning and magic to thwart it. Not that feisty Winnie needs the help....

Through bravery, daring, and more than a little bluffing, ex-pharmaceutical salesman James Christianson has managed to make it so far as a hero in his adopted land. However, he now finds himself facing worse odds than he has in the past. Leading a small band of followers, he desperately wants to recover the Persona stones and his beloved queen. However, he has no idea how he will find either. He soon learns that his answer resides in the Great Plateau, an epic mesa that is so high it is nearly impossible to scale. Finding a way there is a great challenge. But, in comparison, it is minor to ...

Gork isn't like the other dragons at WarWings Military Academy. He has a gigantic heart, two-inch horns, and an occasional problem with fainting. His nickname is Weak Sauce, and his Will to Power ranking is Snacklicious - the lowest in his class. But he is determined not to let any of this hold him back as he embarks on the most important mission of his life: Tonight, on the eve of his high school graduation, he must ask a female dragon to be his queen. If she says yes, they'll go off to conquer a foreign planet together. If she says no, Gork becomes a slave.