Dragon Fantasy Humor

Somewhere faraway, the universe is in peril. But on Earth, Alan is minding his own business after a boring double-shift at the pawn shop… until he’s assaulted by a screaming archer who turns out to be a good shot. Alan awakes in Strangey Town, a zany nightmarish jungle of ideas run by a horrid deity. Things get even stranger when a clairvoyant frog confirms Alan has an affinity for magic, and that his powers are far from ordinary. He can convene with gods, bargain for souls, and tap into every known magic the universe has to offer. It's unheard of!

He doesn't want to destroy the world. Problem is, he's an Apocalypse. Zeke and his friends are enjoying the city when suddenly, the apocalypse begins. Which one? ALL OF THEM. Lucky (or unlucky) enough to be chosen as an apocalypse himself, Zeke sets off to [Devour] his way to the top! It wouldn't be so bad, but his best friend's out to kill him, that rock has a gun, and everything, literally everything, has gone to hell. Zeke just came out here to have a good time, and honestly, he's feeling so attacked right now.

With the demise of the Old King, there's a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king's sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it's all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.

Nowadays, Melchior's a guy who lives under the radar, traveling from place to place, plundering dungeons, making money, and visiting his favorite people. Armed with his completely unfair [Appraisal] ability, no other Appraiser can compare to him. His income is the most secure and certain thing in Maestros. But Maestros is an ever-changing world, one populated by humans blessed by gods themselves, the Masters.

Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

For 10 years, I’ve been using a magical sword that I won in battle to ruthlessly slay enemies, break evil artifacts, and open stubborn pickle jars, but I don’t know much about it. That’s about to change. A half-dwarf thief has shown up and says she’s the rightful heir to the sword. I want to believe it’s a scam and can’t possibly be true, but I didn’t get the sword in the most legitimate manner. If I have to give it up, I might not be able to do my job anymore, and just as bad, I’ll be a target for all the bad guys.

In the days of yore, he flew the skies and scorched angry mobs - now he hides from swamp tour boats and rises only with the greatest reluctance from his La-Z-Boy recliner. Laying low in the bayou, this once-magnificent fire breather has been reduced to lighting Marlboros with nose sparks, swilling Absolut in a Flashdance T-shirt, and binging Netflix in a fishing shack. For centuries, he struck fear in hearts far and wide as Wyvern, Lord Highfire of the Highfire Eyrie - now he goes by Vern.

One moment, he was enjoying a breakfast of salmon trimmings in his home in South Wales. The next, he was teleported across time and space onto the cold stone floor of an evil warlock. Locked in the warlock's tower through day and night, Ben may have to serve him for a while. He'll hate this, especially having to hunt those infernal demon rats when the warlock doesn't feed him well at all.

Anything that lives devours or is devoured itself. The fractured factions seek strength in the face of rising global instability while the gluttonous Chaos Dungeon begins its conquest of the Elemental Battlefield. With a veritable buffet of advancement for the taking, Ace strives to hit Platinum before a mysterious threat reaches his Core. Witness the struggles of those left standing after the jaws of death snap shut in Chaos Devouring.

Crushed Dreams and Broken Contracts When Penny surrenders to Drake, he decides to be a nice mage and make all her dreams come true. Trouble is, someone else is meddling with the tentative balance between the two would-be lovers. The deception sorcerer twists the tangled web tighter and tighter until everyone is caught in their own lies. Because that isn’t enough, the TMD (Technical Magical Department) want the hurters and the witch who made them. With broken contracts, broken heads, and broken hearts, can anything as delicate as love survive? Reader Warning: This series is ridiculous. You...

Embark on an unforgettable adventure in "The Chronicles of Frank and Petra: A Minecraft Story," a thrilling tale that follows Frank and Petra, two courageous and humorous friends who conquer the world of Minecraft together. Set within the captivating pixelated landscapes, this dynamic duo battles fearsome mobs, overcomes treacherous challenges, and forms a bond that will redefine the very meaning of friendship. Through their journey, readers will explore the depths of enchanting caves, uncover powerful weapons and armor, and even step foot into the mysterious dimensions of the Nether and ...

At last! Waldo, Alice, and Gronk have arrived at World's End and located a dragon! What once seemed absolutely impossible is now nearly within reach. With determination to get either a dragon's egg or a dragon, Waldo sets out. He is soon face-to-face with the red dragon Luna, and she is...not quite what he expected. Waldo knew reaching his final goal would be hard, but the obstacles prove to be rather unique. But when has that ever stopped Waldo?

Voted Book Hippo's Best Paranormal Romance of 2014, the Godhunter Series continues! Is the Godhunter becoming a god? Vervain Lavine finally has a moment to relax. She's defeated Aphrodite, reclaiming the magic that the goddess stole from humans. Now the Godhunter holds the powers of Love, Sex, War, and Victory inside her but she's not really sure if that makes her a goddess. She is fairly certain that she's still mortal, but her new immortal boyfriend, Thor, doesn't seem to be worried about it. What he is worried about is Vervain's bond to a werewolf Prince, and the fact that said Prince is...

Marjorie Posey: just your average, everyday weird, outdoorsy girl. While typical government employees have budgets and tax dollars to worry about, rangers with the Texas Parks and Weirdlife spend their days dealing with the likes of jackalopes, leprechauns, and unicorns. When the task of tagging a newborn unicorn threatens to disrupt an evening of microwave pasta and Law & Order reruns, ranger Posey embarks on a Friday afternoon adventure that soon takes a turn for the weird.

Olivia Harris is recovering from a nightmare. Most days she’s certain she will never be mentally healthy enough to rejoin the human race. Suffering from PTSD and experiencing severe anxiety attacks, she returns to her native Alaska to live in semi-seclusion in the little cabin she inherited from her father. Tucker Sterling struggles with a restless, unsettled bear that he is unable to tame. Nothing soothes his bear, not the six years he spent in the army’s Delta Force unit, not the multitude of nameless, faceless, women who share his bed, nothing—until Liv Harris returns to Port Ursa....

After passing his veterinary exam, Ethan is whisked away to an alternate medieval Earth by a sorcerer in need of a veterinarian. He soon comes in possession of Dali, an arcane intelligence of untold power whose sole purpose is to help its master become the greatest at whichever magical path they choose. Naturally, Ethan chooses to become the greatest arcane veterinarian in the world!

A rare polar bear shifter in a clan of grizzly’s, Wyatt is poised to assume the role of Alpha to the Sterling Shifter Clan. There’s only one problem. All Alpha’s must be mated and all Wyatt can seem to find is a string of horrendously bad dates. With tensions running high between the warring Wolf Packs, the Sterling Clan needs Wyatt to step into his fated position. Always the innovative businessman, his brother Colton devises a plan: Hire a mate! **This is a SHORT, feel-good, instalove-inspired, fated mates bear shifter romance.** This book can be read as a standalone, but the series ...

When the System Administrators arrived on Earth, they forced those of the younger generation into other worlds to fight for multiversal entertainment. Bored of life on Earth, Noah has trained to become one of the chosen. He even had his class all planned out–a Mounted Monster Tamer. But he was never picked. So he put matters into his own hands and volunteered. Arriving in a world thick with jungle and hotter than the most boiling desert, Noah finds himself face-to-face with a kobold, which he proceeds to beat into submission and turn into a minion.

Snowed in with Santa's hottest helper. Shall I share my toys? ‘Tis the season for charity gift-giving. A freak blizzard leaves me and my SUV full of Christmas gifts snowbound in Mystic Hollow. Enter Tavion, a sexy wolf pilot who volunteers to fly me to LA to spread holiday cheer. Tavion's skilled hands guide more than the plane. His kisses hold worlds of promise. But it’s when he calls me his fated mate that my icy heart melts. Too bad he’s one man I can’t have. It really is too bad. Because resisting Tavion's charms? That may take a Christmas miracle. This is a SHORT, feel-good, ...

The fiefs that exist at the heart of the city of Elantra are home to sentient Towers that guard the world against the incursion of Shadow. But between the fiefs exists the gray world of the border zone. In it, geography changes between one passage across a border and the next. The rules of magic are different there - and yet somehow familiar to Kaylin Neya.