Dragon Fantasy Humor

‘You’ve never told Clyde?’ Peter asked. ‘About what happened to his mother?’ ‘How can I?’ My pen drew an outline of a shovel on my notepad. ‘I killed her with a gardening tool.’ Life certainly hasn’t been dull since my first visit to Lloegyr, a magical country which parallels England. My household now includes a family of cat-sized gryphons and a hymn-singing snail shark, and I’m visited regularly by Raven, a darkly beautiful dragon. And I enjoy the excitement of planning our wedding day with Peter, my handsome fiancé. But Lloegyr offers danger as well as wonder. My ...

With the blood of a Dragon on his hands, Anuka Sandbar and his friends flee from the horde of Dragons hunting them. Desperate for a weapon to use against the Dragons, Anuka assembles a band of professional thieves and thugs to infiltrate a secret dungeon.

My name is Logan Greenwood, and I’d rather be anywhere else. When I decided to come home to help my mom out of a rough spot, I had no idea how bad it would be. But when a freak storm kicks up and I literally get sucked into another world, family drama is the least of my worries. I couldn’t get home if I wanted to. And in this world–full of drop-dead gorgeous elves, nymphs, and dryads–the last thing on my mind is going home.

No victory is worth the blood of the ones you love ... Threats have unpredictable outcomes with Francesca. With the looming danger, she does the unexpected again. Much to Zoltan's dismay, she has risen Soren, the one uninterested in anything but his own peace. The Fae is awake and determined to indulge the one giving him a new will to walk among the living. But the moral compass between him and Francesca when it comes to everyone else differs in many ways. Enough to make the half-blood regret her hasty decisions. While Drake is struggling to justify waking the powerful Dragon Blood, ...

Having survived a fight-to-the-death ceremony that elevated her to Queen of Enturia, 15-year-old Rhynt must now face the Mystrosians, a formidable force intent on conquering Enturia and enslaving her and her people. As hundreds of Mystrosian ships approach the Enturian harbor, she turns to Baron Bookins, the former fool to the king, for help. He says he has a plan to defeat the Mystrosians, a gambit that will assure victory. Maybe. There's just one problem. Whelan the Wanderer, Randall himself, God of Gods has other ideas. He wants the Mystrosians to win and sets his own gambits in motion. ...

Laurena Filly is no pampered princess, despite her royal blood. She's an impish, medieval, teenaged sorceress and the new apprentice to the Blue Dragon Guardian. This legendary grandmaster sorceress is renowned for maintaining the tenuous peace between the formidable dragons and the inhabitants on the Isle of the Four Kingdoms. Laurena journeys across her father's kingdom to embrace her destiny as the Blue Dragon Princess. Her crossing detours when she learns of the sinister deeds ordered by King Armon, monarch of the Southern Kingdom. These events threaten not only her family and other ...

Bishop Nigel smiled at me. ‘Holy water doesn’t harm vampires. Which is just as well, as it would make it impossible to baptise them.’ When I was asked by a dragon to give him the last rites, I never dreamed it would lead to negotiating with his cannibalistic family or running from snail sharks. Life as the priest of a small English village is quite tame in comparison. At least I have Morey, a gryphon with sarcasm management issues, to help me. And if all else fails, there’s always red wine and single malt whisky. As if my life weren’t complicated enough, a darkly beautiful dragon ...

Raccoon brothers Bingo and J’miah are the newest recruits of the Official Sugar Man Swamp Scouts. The opportunity to serve the Sugar Man - the massive creature who magnanimously rules over the swamp - is a big responsibility. 12-year-old Chap Brayburn is not a member of any such organization. But he loves the swamp something fierce. And help is surely needed, because world-class alligator wrestler Jaeger Stitch wants to turn Sugar Man swamp into an Alligator World Wrestling Arena and Theme Park.

Toothless was the truly unremarkable dragon of the truly extraordinary Viking Hero, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. But it wasn't always like that. There was a time when Hiccup was finding it hard to be a Hero, while Toothless was finding it even harder to be a Hero's dragon. Being disobedient and cheeky is not as easy as it looks - here are Toothless's tips on how to train your Viking!

Sarah has all the shifters sniffing on her trail... Every male shifter that catches her scent is certain she's their fated mate. But her relationships with shifters always start too fast, burn too hot, and eventually explode. Sarah is done with shifters, once and for all. Dwayne has no interest in getting trapped by a fated mate... When his bear declares that the curvy bombshell is his fated mate, Dwayne wants to kill Sarah on the spot. Two problems. His bear insists on keeping her alive, and so does his powerful boss. Trapped together, all hell breaks loose... On the run from a jilted ...

From humble origins as a farm boy, Hailo, now the destined Paired Warrior, embarks on a transformative journey. Deep within the Emerald Mountain range, he and his Dronigon companion, Gagu, undergo grueling training, forging a bond crucial to saving the realm of Tarawin from looming devastation. Battling isolation, hunger, and the biting cold, Hailo confronts not only the harshness of his new life but also the specter of repeated failures in his training. Yet, the call of destiny is unrelenting, dragging him from the brink of despair back into the fray. With the fate of countless lives ...

The Wicked Witch will Eat His Ego With Creagh attacks and diabolical sorcerers from Darkside gathering, Penny Lane and Drake Huntsman have their hands full, but they'll make time to torment each other in their struggle for ultimate domination. Will Penny's inanity and humiliation finally push Drake over the edge, or will he manage to take her with him as he falls further and further in love? Content Warning: You may choke if you try reading and eating macaroons at the same time when the madcap antics make you laugh too hard.

Tomas is a fully fledged expert dragon grower and protector of the dragonfruit tree. He has eyes in the back of his head for watching over those sneaky dragons, awesomely fast reflexes for putting out sparks and dodging the diving antics of whirling newly hatched dragons. He's got it all down pat—and managing his little lightning bolt dragon Zing, too. But he's not quite prepared for the adventure that awaits him when a huge secret is revealed about his new friend, Aura.

Upon the shores of an ancient sea in a long-forgotten land, the slaves of Kel - the city of tears - cried out for a hero, one who would save them from their tormented existence. What they got was Silas Kane, the most inept paladin to ever defile a holy symbol. Raised by insane monks, he’s out to spread the love of his god whether or not anyone wants it. With a high tolerance for pain and a dump stat in intelligence, Silas is on a quest to end the suffering of those in need - one way or the other.

It is strange enough that Odo and Eleanor have stumbled upon a sword in a dried-up river outside their village. It is even stranger that Odo is able to remove it from where it's buried. And it's remarkably strange when the sword starts to talk. Odo and Eleanor have unearthed Biter, a famous fighter from earlier times. By finding Biter, Odo instantly becomes a knight - a role he is exquisitely unsuited for. Eleanor, however, would make a perfect knight - but she's not the one with the sword.

A taste for sweets (and for adventure) leads Michael on a fantastic quest to retrieve a unicorn horn. Will he make it out of Sweetlandia with his sugar-coated prize, or wash out in a fudgy wave of failure?

"It's not that I want to kill those people; I'm not a monster. I'm just not that dramatic about them dying in case it's necessary for my plans." King Sorin the Great, The First of His Name Far away, in a remote corner of the empire, King Sorin is the charismatic yet deeply flawed king of Aragonia. He is about to perform the first step in his grand plan to dethrone the emperor and take his place when everything around him begins to fall apart. Nevertheless, Sorin is determined to overcome the obstacles and fulfill his plan (without compromising his afternoon nap routine). He is dragged ...

The Fairest of Them All Particularly if we're talking about cold, hard justice. I am the law, at least I am until I'm framed for murder by those who resent my competence at cutting through red tape and the underbellies of corrupt mages. Some call me cruel. All right, everyone calls me cruel, but when you need someone without scruples to go undercover and reveal the impossible, I'm the go-to witch. Apparently, because I'm also being forced to work with the mage I'd like best to rip apart. Convenient that he's so hard to kill, or I just couldn't resist the temptation. He's the golden ...

"Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur’s knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It’s a disaster! Luckily, there’s a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who’s willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers. But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store.

Witch vs. Mage: End Game In the thrilling conclusion to the quirky and charming Darkly Sweet series, Penny puts it all on the line for love, but sometimes, lines were made to be crossed. Drake can’t be what she needs, but his ego won’t let him back down without a fight. Conveniently, there are endless battles, the greatest one against his need to find a mop bucket with Penny Lane inside it. With mage contracts and Darksiders to juggle, (never kiss a Darksider) Penny and Drake will take on mayhem and paperwork, golf balls and heart-shaped shrapnel until Dayside and Darkside will never be...