Dark Humor Horror

An Untold Tale of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Ben used to be a micro-manager at the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center. Now he’s the micro-manager of a militia that recently lost their base and are trying to survive the hordes of zombies. When Ben finds the perfect base, it seems like the answer to everyone’s prayers. Until Ben discovers there are super zombies nearby. Now he has to find a way to eradicate the super zombies, while keeping the militia alive. And he might have a solution… But it involves partnering up with Garret, the military officer that betrayed and abandoned Ben. ...

My name is Barry, although it might as well be Loser. Satan owns my soul, and my demon boss, Margery, tortures me with her magical cigarettes every chance she gets. While I’m desperate for freedom, I’ll do anything to stop her from opening the Gates of Hell…or any other crazy thing she has planned. My odds of saving mankind are uncertain, but I have to try.

In this bunch of offbeat stories, the listener will be sucked into a series of abnormal, yet compellingly dark and amusing tales. A sailors tavern gets an unexpected visitor with a message that could save humanity from itself. Two naughty boys on a school trip to the zoo decide to play a trick that backfires with crushing consequences. A grumpy old man drops devastation in his wake as he leaves behind a trail of deadly flatulence on his trip through the village. The neighbours from hell get neighbours who really are from hell.

Frannie Rosen's psychic mentions a brilliant future, but she never tells the relatively straight-laced and naive Frannie that she will be possessed by a promiscuous, stage-struck doppelganger. All Frannie wants is an Oscar-winning role, a “to die for” role. What she gets is far more than that, especially when she's cast in a horror film about a demonic possession, directed by the legendary Victor Madison. While being piloted by Madison, Frannie is also orchestrated by a doppelganger/demon.

This spooky anthology by Eli Taff, Jr. is a collection of 10 flash-fiction stories packed with cosmic horror and unbelievable terror that will keep you on the edge of your seat and have you sleeping with the lights on. The evil clown that steps out of a childhood memory and kills with a touch; the terrified mother who finds a monster in her daughter's bedroom; the unfaithful businessman who gets off the subway at the wrong stop; and a gangster who gets more than he bargained for when he robs the wrong old lady on the wrong night.

A woman wakes up, frightened and alone - with no idea where she is. She's in a room but it's shaking and jumping like it’s alive. Stumbling through a door, she realises she is in a train carriage. A carriage full of the dead. This is the Night Train. A bizarre ride on a terrifying locomotive, heading somewhere into the endless night. How did the woman get here? Who is she? And who are the dead?

Love is one of those four-letter words that people like to throw around, but sometimes love can be one of the meanest and nastiest games in town. If you have ever had your heart broken - then this audiobook is for you. If you enjoy the taste of strong meat - then this audiobook is for you. If you've got a sense of weird that is honed as sharp as a cutthroat's knife - then this audiobook is for you. Here are three of the strangest love stories you have ever read.

Tod Donavon (59), Las Madres Police Department, has detected something horribly wrong with his ex-wife, and it just might have something to do with the thrill-kill cult he's investigating. And possibly his frequent blackouts. If only Internal Affairs would quit chewing his ring, he could finally get some work done and maybe even find some of these missing kids. Someone's not doing their job, but if he's left alone to do his, there won't be any work left, nor anyone to do it.

An accountant by day, Mr. Rodgers spends his nights and weekends indulging in a unique passion. Traveling from neighborhood to neighborhood as an unknown entity, he uses unconventional methods to help long-suffering wives rediscover the love they once had for themselves and their husbands. Some might consider him a selfless hero, ahead of his time. The residents of Poagstown, however, have cutting-edge ideas of their own.

When Ellie and her family move into Inchwood Manor, Ellie quickly discovers strange things are happening. Who is the mysterious boy at the window? What secrets lie within the abandoned nursery? Who is the woman who haunts Ellie’s dreams - and why has she returned to the Manor, after more than a century?

Whit had done everything right, but when the world seems against you, can good boys stay good? Whit never drank in excess, never said a bad word to anyone, did his taxes, even called his mom on Sundays, never even had a tattoo...until one night, the night a malicious clown turned everything upside down.

Emily Schmidt has been locked away in an asylum for a long week since DilDozer first struck, but she can still feel his presence inside her. Breed. Incubate. Multiply. Repeat. Are you ready for the second cumming?

Whatever happened to that bumbling skeleton army from our favorite movie about a time-traveling S-Mart employee? Finally, the whole story.

What would you do if you found out that your family's only source of survival was being infected by demons from the foulest depth of Hell? Call local demon hunters, of course. Marty and Kevin and the Wolf are back for another round of battling evil. This time it’s personal. When the Garcia Family and the city of DenMark are attacked by an ancient race of Draconian devils, our heroes fall right into the lap of action.

Two years ago, publicly shunned comedian Diddy Dave Diamond convinced the nation that he was dead, only to return from beyond the grave to seek retribution on those who ruined his career and tainted his legacy. Innocent or not, only one person survived Diddy Dave Diamond's last-ever game show, but the forfeit prize was imprisonment for similar alleged crimes. But there's a sudden glimmer of hope: Someone has surfaced in the public eye claiming to be the dead comedian.

A record of a Zombie’s rant about the trials and tribulations of his life as a dis-respected member of the undead. A Chat Before Dinner is a 2,600 word darkly-humorous short story.

The Devil might be the greatest liar of all time...but which lies are his? A man named Jesus wanders the earth, from the U.S.A. to Egypt, from the Middle East to South America, desperate to discover who he really is. The archangels would see Jesus dead for his name alone, but he's only mortal...isn't he? In a life defined by the insanity of the world around him, the man named Jesus has only one friend...that friend has many faces, but only one true name - Abbadon. Armageddon approaches, and not all revelations are welcome.

It's 1995 and Pete Sinclair is feeling the heat. He's been blamed for closing the Gates of Hell and releasing an imprisoned fallen angel by the name of Azael. Now Pete's on the run from mercenaries who've been paid to take off his head. Lucky for Pete, an angel's apprentice believes he's innocent, but she's not about to let him off the hook. She offers him freedom from Satan's forces in exchange for his help. Brandishing the only weapon that weakens angels, Pete must rescue kidnapped nuns and capture Azael. If only he had a clue how to use a sword.

When Chase sees the little girl in umbrella socks savaging the Rottweiler, he‘s not too concerned. As someone who‘s been smoking meth every day for as long as he can remember, he‘s no stranger to such horrifying, drug-fueled hallucinations. But as he and his fellow junkies discover, the little girl is no illusion. The end of the world really has arrived.

Spring Etienne is a pretty, charming 15-year-old psychopath who will do anything to bring herself out of poverty - including seducing a lonely older man. Hank is indeed a lonely older man - but he is also an incubus who feeds on the dreams of his victims. Together, they form a bizarrely functional, darkly comedic couple. When a murder forces the couple to flee to Hank's homeland in Germany, they are drawn deep into the world of the incubi - a world where Spring fits in very, very well.