Dark Comedy Horror Fiction

Yancy Lazarus is having a bad day: there's a bullet lodged in his butt cheek, his face looks like the site of a demolition derby, and he's been saran-wrapped to a banquet table. He never should have answered the phone. Stupid bleeding heart - helping others in his circles is a good way to die - just ask the gang members ripped to pieces by some kind of demonic nightmare in LA.

A collection of stories: The Possessed Printer Blues: A woman buys a printer at a yard sale. The Long Day Sun: A photography student helps out a friend. Savory Taro Pudding: A short nightmare based on true events. Billionaire Babies: It turns out you can't trust billionaires. Bath Salts Vampire: Teen girls with low self-esteem + a drug dealer who thinks he's an ancient vampire. What could go wrong?

I played all those cool video games. I watched all those movies. I even read the books. In most of 'em, the hero shoots the bad guys, drives a sweet car, never gets hungry, and always seems to get laid by the end. Yeah. Whatever. I gotta be straight with you about why I wrote this journal, and it comes down to one thing, the apocalypse kinda sucks. It doesn’t meet my expectations at all.

An American couple travel to a strange, snowy European city to adopt a baby, who they hope will resurrect their failing marriage. This difficult journey leaves the wife, who is struggling with cancer, desperately weak, and her husband worries that her apparent illness will prevent the orphanage from releasing their child. The couple check into the cavernous and eerily deserted Borgarfjaroasysla Grand Imperial Hotel where the bar is always open and the restaurant serves 13-course dinners from centuries past.

It’s bad enough that its venom-dripping chelicerae can slice through flesh like warm butter. Worse? It’s right there under the bunk. It’s a fact now. To make it through the night, the children must obey the rules: don’t get out of bed, stay out of the shadows, and don’t wake the beast. But as the threats multiply, so do the rules of survival. And with the safety of dawn still hours away, the fun is just beginning.

Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.

The family that decays together, stays together. On a hot summer weekend in San Antonio, Texas, a father and son bond after discovering three impossible corpses buried in their backyard. From the author and screenwriter of We Need to Do Something comes a new novel of body horror and existential crises.

The ancient pact between mankind, heaven, and hell has been broken, and Nate Temple’s quest for vengeance may have just kicked off Armageddon. So, time to grab a stiff drink…or maybe four. Already plagued with night terrors that could qualify him as a card-carrying insomniac, Nate can barely even manage to put on his pants in the morning, let alone pick teams for the Apocalypse. But when he’s framed as a demon sympathizer, condemned by the Armies of Heaven, and hunted down by both his allies and the Four Horsemen, this wizard doesn’t think it can get any worse.

Dustin Graves has three days to live. The darkling mage has found himself in the company of scoundrels. Maybe that’s what Dustin deserves: a werewolf, a vampire, and a talking sword for teammates, and a rogue sorcerer as his mentor and master. But a doomsday cult has surfaced. Twelve mutilated bodies are found drowned in blood and in wine. The massacre stinks of both the divine and the supernatural. Worst of all, an ancient god sends Dust on a lethal mission, one he must complete in three days. The reward? He gets to live. Well...maybe.

Alex hates missing person’s cases. Unless they’re easy money. Anything is good when there’s easy money. Then there’s the delivery job. Get a box and hand deliver it to some rich jerk-off. Deal with another private investigator almost as skeezy as himself. And after all that there’s the Event. That’s sure to have a really, really, bad ending.

The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw. Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve. For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.

In this gloriously over-the-top tale, Aoyama, a widower who has lived alone with his son ever since his wife died seven years before, finally decides it is time to remarry. Since Aoyama is a bit rusty when it comes to dating, a filmmaker friend proposes that, in order to attract the perfect wife, they do a casting call for a movie they don't intend to produce. As the resumes pile up, only one of the applicants catches Aoyama's attention - Yamasaki Asami - a striking young former ballerina with a mysterious past. But she is a far cry from the innocent young woman he imagines her to be.

In the fourth installment of The Black Knight Chronicles, Jimmy Black is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and a darned fine pity party, serving the finest alcohol, when a call from his not-quite-girlfriend-cop forces him to sober up and stare at jawbones. "Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available--for a price. The boys can barely stay out of trouble in Charlotte. As fresh meat at The Market, they'll be lucky to survive the day.

The cornerstone of private investigation—insurance fraud. Doing it, obviously. And then there’s the taxi job. Run someone to the airport while being chased by who knows what? Mix that in with drugs, party boats, and the Virgin Mary, and you’ve got a pretty standard day for one Mr. Cole. All for a lousy paycheck. Full of infanticide, evisceration, sadists, and snuff, Alex Cole is part private detective, part mercenary...all sick f--k. Cole Investigations is open—once more—for business.

A new dark comedy series by the creator of DeathCreator! Shtulls had fought a bloody war for the human kingdom despite not being one himself. He watched his men die and struggled on until he beat the demonic emperor and returned home a hero. But on the eve of his medal ceremony, he encountered a being that changed his life for better or worse. Now he is cursed, poor, homeless, and without mana. His curse forces him to say or do whatever he thinks is the worst thing possible and has robbed him of his honor and dignity.

Sharing a beer with Death - one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - really put a few things into perspective for this foul-mouthed, billionaire wizard. Like finally getting the stones to propose to his girlfriend. But the Brothers Grimm - legendary supernatural assassins - have escaped their prison, and the number one thing they want after their centuries-long incarceration is Nate Temple’s head. With the entire wedding party also on their hit list and the Temple family fortune in jeopardy, Nate realizes they can’t run and they can’t hide. So, time to do magic and stuff.

Following on the heels of Robert Brockway's comedic horror novel The Unnoticeables, The Empty Ones reveals the next chapter in the lives of a few misfits attempting to fight back against the mysterious Unnoticeables. The Empty Ones follows Carey and Randall to London where they go to rescue Gus and fight more of these mysterious angel-like creatures, and stumble on a powerful and unexpected ally.

A Mosca, in un afoso pomeriggio di primavera, due letterati stanno elencando le prove dell'inesistenza di Dio. Lo straniero che si intromette nella discussione è di tutt'altro parere. Non solo, ma è stato presente al processo di Gesù. Si tratta infatti del Diavolo, nei panni del mago Woland, e la sua spettacolare comparsa getterà nel caos il burocratismo sovietico e l'élite letteraria del tempo. Satira devastante e fantastica, il romanzo, in parte ambientato nella capitale sovietica e in parte nell'antica Gerusalemme, è uno dei massimi capolavori della letteratura.

Fifteen-year-old Neva is taken to Wellwood House, a home for unwed mothers, to see out the final three months of her pregnancy. Her father turns tail without even a goodbye, leaving Neva to endure the isolated maternity home for one sweltering summer with the bugs, the boredom, the awful food, the shunned unwed girls just like her. There, she meets Rose, the righteous hippie; Holly, a fourteen-year-old who refuses to talk, and Zinnia, the cultured sceptic.

After the events of the first two books of the Vicious Circle series, Carey and Randall reached LA during the early '80s punk scene, which was heavily mixed up with Chinatown. A young Chinese girl with silver hair is the Empty One that seems to run things there, and her ex-lover, an Empty One named Zang, has apparently turned against them and may or may not be on Carey's side.