Cat Humor

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Harry Haristeen, Mrs. Murphy, Pewter, and Tee Tucker return for this cozy tale from the , New York Times best-selling tandem of Rita Mae and Sneaky Pie Brown. When Harry’s beloved Aunt Tally approaches her 100th birthday, her alma mater schedules a birthday celebration that doubles as a fundraiser. But then a member of the alumnae association disappears. Her car is on campus, yet she’s nowhere to be seen—and Tucker has sniffed out traces of human blood.

While sifting through closets of junk in the mansion they have rented, Qwill and Koko uncover a mystery involving the suicide of the former owner and the murder of a potato farmer. By the author of The Cat Who Wasn't There.

Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave - if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn't take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave's nephew Emilio. Meanwhile, a surprise newcomer shows up in Timmy's life, and, as if things couldn't get more hectic, Timmy's pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat.

The megacity of New Montreal is under constant threat by the Antithesis, aliens who have transformed the landscape to produce swarms of creatures that feed on everything in their path. The city's infrastructure is in disrepair, and the politicians and corporations responsible for its maintenance have been slacking off, leaving angry citizens to fend for themselves.

Welcome to Sarah’s Eatery, where the food is to-die-for! Armed with zero cooking skills but infinite tenacity, Kylie Berry fights tirelessly to learn the ins and outs of operating a restaurant—but when her cook Brenda takes a leave of absence, she’s left to manage the café kitchen alone. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" Kylie pulls 12-hour shifts at Sarah’s Eatery and struggles to find time to eat, sleep, and most importantly, keep at her culinary studies. Café regulars and potential suitors Joel and Brad lend a hand, but when Joel finds himself embroiled in a ...

Pete the cat can't actually talk to his owner, Alex, but he's a crime-solving cat, and he knows when things aren't right. And now, Pete knows something is wrong. Someone's been breaking into houses in the neighborhood, and they're not just stealing people's property—they're kidnapping pets! When the burglars come to Alex's house, they nab Pete! Lucky for Pete, Alex's brother, Benjie, comes to the rescue, but gets himself kidnapped by the thieves. Can Pete and Alex uncover the clues and rescue Benjie?

Learning to love books has never been so groovy! From New York Times bestselling creators Kimberly and James Dean, these 17 favorite Pete the Cat audiobooks are sure to make books fun.

When pets investigate, you can be sure the fur will fly. When two kids go missing on Hallowe’en, the task of finding them provokes a Buster versus Amber challenge. The dog can follow the scent, but the cat will use her brains. Who will find the children first? And where are they anyway? But Felicity’s pets aren’t the only ones trying to solve this case. Her niece, Mindy, is out in the dark too. There’s a mob forming outside a suspiciously derelict and overgrown house, but is the lady inside really a witch? In the ultimate test of feline against canine and pets against humans, who ...

Hank encounters the weirdest cat he's ever seen when he, Slim, Drover, and Little Alfred head over to the Hodge's place to feed the cattle. Hank gets bumped out of the back of the Cammo-Stealth army truck. Mary D. Cat is the only one around to help keep Rip and Snort at bay. Will Slim realize Hank is missing in action? Is Mary D. Cat really a vampire? Or could it be - gulp - that she's a good cat after all?

With only 199 days to deal with the lich, Florence must take the dungeon she calls a home on the road and eliminate the source of the lich’s power: infected dungeon cores. Whether these infected cores will become enemies or allies remains to be seen, but they aren’t the only threat Florence and her friends will face. Others will seek to use Florence’s unique nature for their own gain or destroy her for what she has become.

It is adviseable to read book 1 in this series, 'The Drunken Weed' first. The continued adventures of John Berwick, the Irrelevant One and the mother of his children, sister-in-law, Mesopotamian goddess and one time would be assassin, Gesh, The Drunken Weed, as they and their comrades search the multiverse for their kidnapped children. Encountering Edgar Allan Poe, the Emperor Nero, modern Neanderthals, witches, a cat goddess and 1920's gangsters among others as they discover the purpose of Pandora's box. A light hearted examination of history and the purpose of life.

It is twelve years since the Great Reconfiguration and life in the continent-spanning network of Smart Houses is safe, sedentary, and sedated. Karl, Sam, and their children navigate this reality through implants and mood-balancing stims, living as much in the digital as the physical realm. However, when a tiny, impossible kitten enters their lives – unregistered, unthinkable, and utterly forbidden - a sequence of events is set in motion that will shatter their carefully constructed, user friendly world. As their home twists and turns against them, comfort becomes confinement, security ...

Meet Conrad. You’ve never met a cat like him before. Neither has Lulu Lewis when he walks into her life one summer’s day. Mourning the recent death of her husband, the former police detective had expected a gentle retirement, quietly enjoying life on her new canal boat, The Lark, and visiting her mother-in-law Emily in a nearby care home. But when Emily dies suddenly in suspicious circumstances, Lulu senses foul play and resolves to find out what really happened. And a remarkable cat named Conrad will be with her every step of the way.

Welcome to Sarah’s Eatery: serving hot breakfast daily, with complimentary curbside murder! When Cameron Caldwell, infamously bad waiter and known womanizer, is found dead on the doorstep of Sarah’s Eatery, new owner Kylie Berry yet again becomes the talk of the town. After very publically rejecting Cam’s amorous advances the day before his death, Zoey Jin, Kylie’s regular customer and fledgling best friend, becomes the prime suspect in his murder. To complicate matters, Zoey’s estranged ex, Max, breezes back into town to exonerate the woman he not long ago abandoned… "Winters ...

"This series is my favorite new addiction!"~ Reviewer The coconut wireless is always humming in Ohia, Maui—and the latest topic of gossip is me, Kat Smith. I’m Secret Service, not Postal Service—but I feel like a criminal when I’m appointed postmaster to a cozy little village on Maui. Turns out I’ve stolen a well-earned promotion from beloved Auntie Pua Chang, who’s been there forever—when all I want to do is hide out in paradise until the witch hunt to kill my career is over. I haven't been in Ohia a day when Tiki the post office cat brings a prize to my doorstep—a piece of...

Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word. They can get you to drop whatever you're doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down right this instant and provide a lap. On the other hand, try getting a cat to do what you want.... While it's hard, persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze, and that is what you will learn in this audiobook.

Death on the Seine - a delightful cozy mystery set in Paris, a city where food, wine, and crime make life worth living… along with a few books and Mercury, the cat. For Ava Sext, a transplanted Londoner who sells books from an outdoor stand overlooking the Seine, her day goes from bad to worse when the tall, handsome stranger whose appearance her horoscope predicted disappears after he is almost killed before her eyes. And that's before she discovers that he supposedly died weeks earlier. With the help of her fellow bookseller, Henri DeAth, a former notary in a country where notaries are ...

Welcome to Sarah’s Eatery, where the food is to-die-for! Kylie’s move to Camden Falls didn’t go quite as she expected: now she's got two hunky men fighting for her affections, more culinary mishaps on her café's Oops Board, and ex in-laws who won’t leave her alone. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" And, of course, there's the latest murder that Kylie gets drawn into... When local real estate bigshot “Mean Mike” Pratt is found dead in his office, accusations fly from every other storefront—in no small part because he owned them! Kylie’s hairdresser, Susie, is ...

In The Case of the Crown Jewels, when the crown jewels go missing from Kennel Palace, it's up to super-sleuth Sherlock Bones and Dr. Catson to solve the crime. But with multiple suspects and a trail that's starting to run cold, will they be able to catch the culprit in time? In The Mystery of the Vanishing Magician, when a famous magician vanishes from a train bound to Paris, Catson is convinced of foul play… but none of the other passengers seem to know anything about the magician. Was he on the train at all?