Cat Humor

Clickity clack, clickity clack... Splat's bicycle bumps and jumps over the bumpy track on his way to school, until... crack! Splat takes a tumble off of his bike and finds himself nose to beak with a duck. A crash of this caliber should certainly merit some alarm from this duck, but Splat hears no sound. A duck with no quack? Splat thinks that his teacher, Mrs. Wimpydimple, will know what to do, so Splat packs the duck in his backpack along with his school supplies and heads off to Cat School.

Splat the Cat can't wait to be in his school play about castles and kings and queens - maybe he'll even get to play a knight! Will Splat find a way to steal the show? Join him and his classmates for another hilarious Splat the Cat adventure!

Every kid wants to laugh, and Max is the boy who can make it happen. He's also the boy who absolutely, definitely, does not under any circumstances want a cat. So why did Mum and Dad just bring one home? Max is the funny kid...but now a cat is here to ruin his life! Cat bums, cat claws, ticklish cats, piano-playing cats, cats that will run away and cats that won't (oh, and a jealous Duck in a jacuzzi) are just some of the things in store for Max and his friends in this Funny Kid adventure!

I’m Honorio, a noble cat. No brag, just fact. On vacation in a mysterious part of France with pink swamps, wild and free white horses and a wandering ghostly salt-marsh woman. My eccentric “owner,” her two devoted friends, and I, are eye-witnesses to a sudden and shocking murder! Was it murder? It was there in the room of this terribly tragic-looking, twisted, creepy mask that some archaeologists unearthed and maybe should not have. The detective in me that I was . . . that I am . . .moves into action. I detect a number of quirky people who are suspicious, if not downright fishy—...

Buffalo is melting. The sidewalks squirm. The cats have formed a militia. Max Noir—sarcastic detective, caffeine addict, and reluctant hero—just wanted his coffee. Instead, he finds himself ankle-deep in sentient goo, guilt-fueled hallucinations, and a grotesque game masterminded by a sourdough-born intelligence. As Buffalo oozes into madness, Max is forced to investigate a mystery that smells like burnt soup, features a psychic yeast tantrum, and may be targeting him personally. From a cheese-curd confession to a feline urine offensive, Max Noir is a genre-bending, noir-splattered ...

Four years have passed. Four long years since Ava and Leo have been in the same room, since he drove away with her heart in his hands and never looked back. Ava wouldn’t know how to begin to make up for all the time she’s lost with her best friend, who also happens to be the man of her dreams. Leo’s life has only grown better. Reciprocity is living the good life; a song on a hit movie soundtrack, loads of girls at every stop, getting ready to co-headline their first major tour. He doesn’t let himself think about the past and the girl he let slip away all those years ago. Ava knows ...

Thrift shop til someone drops... It’s time for Halloween, and that means costume sales at the Pine Grove Thrift Store. After Jessica Braun finds her aunt’s odd stash of disguises, she will have more than enough inventory for this holiday. But where did the costumes come from? And why did Aunt Daphne collect them? When Jess and her friends reheat a cold case, they stir up dangers, old and new. And when her suspicions about the killer lead her down roads she never expected to travel, another life will be lost in Pine Grove. Which will Jess be more frightened of this Halloween—a murderer...

Internationally famous cat burglar Ophelia von Hairball V adores jewels­ - the only thing she loves more is a challenge. She's never met a safe she couldn't crack. Now, the Furry Feline Burglary Institute (FFBI) offers her the ultimate caper: steal the giant Himalayan diamond and win their top award! There's a catch! The FFBI sends an enthusiastic inventor to help Ophelia...but this cat works alone, and Oscar Fishgerald Gold smells fishy.

A cosy mystery perfect for fans of Sally Smith, Steve Higgs, LJ Ross, Robert Thorogood, and Richard Osman. The celebrations for The National Day of Spain are the biggest event in the calendar for the Club Britannia complex on Spain’s Costa del Sol. As part of the organising committee, Karen McLaren has been overseeing the evening’s food, drink, music, and dancing. She has big plans… …finding herself making inquiries about a murdered partygoer isn’t one of them. Neither Karen nor the local police can understand how the death has happened. Though everything they see suggests it’s ...

Random but meaningful conversations between a cat and her hooman...as written by the clueless but well-meaning hooman. Me: So I've done this book thing. Cat: What's a book thing? Me: Well, books are those things in my bedroom that you sit on quite peacefully during the day and knock onto the floor in the middle of the night when I'm asleep. Cat: Aha. And what do you mean, you've done one? Me: It's about our adventures since you joined me, err, I mean took over the household. Cat: I see. Though, you didn't ask, did you? Me: Oh, is it a problem? Cat: Not necessarily, but I feel permission and...

A Conversation With A Cat That Might Not Have Actually Taken Place. Cat: Watchyadoin hooman? Me: Oh not much. Just putting the final touches to our book thingy. Cat: Catalorks, sounds important. Me: Sort of. But then, maybe, it isn't. Cat: Huh! Me: Well, I'm writing about a conversation that we're having at this very moment. Cat: Yep. With you so far. Me: But this conversation never really happened. Cat: So, umm, why are we having it then? You know, if it never happened. Me: Well, I needed something a bit bonkers for the back cover. Cat: So why not just make something up like you did before...

Viking Cats most definitely played a part in the incursions against England. Of this there is no doubt, despite efforts by so called “real” historians to cover this up. What is unclear is why there is little mention of Saxon Cats. One theory is that Saxons preferred dogs, usually big, mangy, smelly beasts that hunted stags and eat babies. Editors note; the eating of babies was usually blamed on the Viking invaders to scare the Saxon populace. Several famous Viking Cats do exist in history but probably as a hybrid of several heroic felines. For example, Balder Blackclaw was a fierce ...

Dave Pigeon and his trusty sidekick, Skipper, are minding their own business in the garden shed when they see Mean Cat behaving very strangely... And why is she multiplying? The arrival of some very cute kittens is disastrous news! More cats? Ugh. But then the kittens come under threat... Are Dave and Skipper coldhearted enough to leave them defenseless? Especially when one looks a teeny, tiny little bit like Dave?

After the turmoil in New York, another hopelessly unprepared hero meets powerful, mysterious characters with the power to change the world… Wade was a world-class cynic, an office drone who was desperate to escape his life. That was before he accidentally made a deal that sent his whole life spinning out of control. Now he’s in thrall to two strong, bewitching women who call themselves Queens of the Nile. He’s also plagued by wolves, the police, witches and ex-wives. They all want to ruin him. But he can see a turning point. After all, he’s got feline alchemy on his side. Maybe he ...

In book three of this hysterical series, Klawde faces a challenger he never imagined: a dog, who has arrived on Earth to settle the intergalactic score. He's hyper, he's loyal, he's an all-around-good boy, and he's here to bring Klawde to justice. Can our ferocious feline evade the long paw of the law? Raj, on the other hand, is faced with his own out-of-town visitor who, although from Earth, may prove to be even more formidable: his grandmother. When she plans a birthday party Raj doesn't want, will he survive the embarrassment?

Humor, horror, and stanks. Ride monster waves, search for lost cookies, confront a witch, and battle the forces of Fectville with stench-filled water guns. Audiobook bonus: two live performance tracks. Ever been to the beach? Gone trick or treating? Heard ghost stories at summer camp? Conducted scientific reanimation experiments in the basement? A great listen about ordinary kids who get into extraordinary trouble.

Meet Max - the mighty kitten and New York Times best seller. When Max meets Bird, Max thinks he'd like to be friends with Bird. He would also like to chase Bird and maybe eat him as a tasty snack. But that's not what friendship is all about...is it?

When eighteen-year-old Ellie Canning is discovered wandering the countryside, dazed and traumatized, she tells a harrowing story of abduction, captivity, and escape. An overnight symbol of survival and empowerment, Ellie enthralls an outraged nation. Then authorities zero in on an unlikely suspect: high school teacher Suzannah Wells, identified by Ellie as the woman who kept her drugged and bound in a basement. The evidence against Suzannah is damning—vilified by the media, Suzannah’s only defense is that not a single word Ellie says is true. Suzannah has no reason to lie.

Welcome to the shadowy world where your cat’s cuddle might just be a reconnaissance mission. Here, each purr is suspect, every gift a warning, and the innocent act of sleeping on your keyboard? A strategic move in the silent battle for dominance. This isn’t just another day in your cozy, cat-dominated household—it’s an insight into the cunning mind behind those whiskers. Discover the art of survival in a land where being ignored is a power play, and affection could be the prelude to an assassination attempt. With a blend of dark humor and unnerving accuracy, navigate the minefield ...

MacGyver the tabby is feeling very pleased with himself. His human, Jamie Snyder, has found the perfect packmate - and it's all thanks to Mac. By stealing personal items from the home of Jamie's handsome neighbor David, the matchmaking cat brought these two LA singles together. Now, while the newlyweds are off on their honeymoon, MacGyver is ready for a well-deserved cat nap. That is, until he meets his cat sitter Briony. Like most humans, she's hopeless when it comes to romance. And Mac can't resist a challenge....