Cat Humor

Random but meaningful conversations between a cat and her hooman...as written by the clueless but well-meaning hooman. Me: So I've done this book thing. Cat: What's a book thing? Me: Well, books are those things in my bedroom that you sit on quite peacefully during the day and knock onto the floor in the middle of the night when I'm asleep. Cat: Aha. And what do you mean, you've done one? Me: It's about our adventures since you joined me, err, I mean took over the household. Cat: I see. Though, you didn't ask, did you? Me: Oh, is it a problem? Cat: Not necessarily, but I feel permission and...

Viking Cats most definitely played a part in the incursions against England. Of this there is no doubt, despite efforts by so called “real” historians to cover this up. What is unclear is why there is little mention of Saxon Cats. One theory is that Saxons preferred dogs, usually big, mangy, smelly beasts that hunted stags and eat babies. Editors note; the eating of babies was usually blamed on the Viking invaders to scare the Saxon populace. Several famous Viking Cats do exist in history but probably as a hybrid of several heroic felines. For example, Balder Blackclaw was a fierce ...

Sheba is a beautiful, tortoiseshell cat with a definite attitude. She thinks she is royalty and wants to be treated as such by her human who is her servant. Her human is questioning who is in charge. This hilarious arrangement makes for funny interactions between them. Anyone who owns a cat may see a bit of their own cat in Sheba and be amused.

Thrift shop til someone drops... A mysterious mansion, an island lost in the fog… And a wedding filled with recycled decor. Jessica Braun is leaving her thrift store in her teen neighbor’s care and heading to Lake Superior for the weekend. Even a trip down memory lane with her ex-husband can’t ruin this Fourth of July. Until tragedy strikes the happy couple, and the bridge is closed—trapping Jess and the other guests on the island with a murderer. How will Jess work through the clues, and her past, before the coming storm?

This cozy series has everything you want and more: an eclectic cast of characters, a mystery or two, and diligent detectives on duty. The detectives, feline and canine, figure it all out, but they have a dickens of a time getting the humans to understand them. The series, Tiger Lily’s Café, is set in a Midwestern town nestled into the sunset coast of a Great Lake. The setting itself acts as a character, bringing the reader into the sights, sounds and smells of the small resort community of Chelsea. Read the series in order, or read any book alone. Each volume stands alone with a clear ...

After the turmoil in New York, another hopelessly unprepared hero meets powerful, mysterious characters with the power to change the world… Wade was a world-class cynic, an office drone who was desperate to escape his life. That was before he accidentally made a deal that sent his whole life spinning out of control. Now he’s in thrall to two strong, bewitching women who call themselves Queens of the Nile. He’s also plagued by wolves, the police, witches and ex-wives. They all want to ruin him. But he can see a turning point. After all, he’s got feline alchemy on his side. Maybe he ...

When the celebrated crime writer Agatha Crispy engages Hettie and Tilly in the search for a stolen manuscript, our feline detective duo is plunged into a world of Dickensian thieves and murderers. Does the ghost of Jake the Nipper prowl the London Streets of Kitzrovia? Will Madame Two Paws’s exhibition wax or wane? And will the secrets in the crypt of the church of St Mavis and Cucumber finally be revealed? Join Hettie and Tilly as they attempt to unravel yet another darkly humorous case for The No. 2 Feline Detective Agency.

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

Space Cat and his trusty robot, Earl, are forced to land their rocket on a strange planet. Space Cat has to find more fuel to get home. Will he ever blast off again?

Hello, I’m Star. I’m smart, I’m green, and I love nothing more than collecting beautiful objects and hiding them in my secret lair. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my hobby. Well, they don’t understand the art of collecting like I do, do they!? Just imagine, I take one little ornament from the Christmas tree and the mum two-legs says, “Star! You naughty cat!” Hey, do they really expect me to leave all the purrfect shiny thingies on the tree? Ok, ok, I admit. I could try leaving them alone. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...

Hello, I’m Tangelo. I’m cute, I’m orange, and I love nothing more than a good ribbon tangle. Or any tangle, really. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my creations. Well, they don’t understand art like I do, do they!? Just imagine, my biggest and best creation and the mum two-legs says, “Tangelo, you naughty kitty, what have you done?” Hey, what did she expect after accidentally shutting me in a room full of Christmas decorations? Ok, ok, I admit. I sneaked in. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? Certainly not this tangle-loving ...

Thrift shop til someone drops... Taking in donations at a thrift store could only bring good fortune, right? That is, unless there’s more than secondhand treasures in those boxes… Jessica Braun’s thrift shop is thriving, her first donations are coming in to resell, and the new neighborhood watch is a success. Add a date with an unexpected gentleman, and Jess’s first summer back in Minnesota is sweet as maple syrup. But when donated collectibles are stolen, a local woman lands in deep water. The deputy is ready to let Jess help investigate when the quiet town is turned upside down ...

Fresh from her laugh-out-loud London leap, Lynnie Roo is back in her hometown of Crescent Heads, tail twitching, boomerang polished, and pouch brimming with jam donuts. But things aren’t as sunny as they seem... The town’s beloved Lamington Festival is under threat. Recipes are vanishing. Meringue clues are appearing. And a mysterious ghost crab may, or may not, be tap-dancing at midnight. Even worse? Denny is back. Deported, devious, and more rotten than ever. With her besties Vanessa the witty fox, Lizzie the donut-loving koala, and new local legends Jarrah, Winda, and Tali on her ...

Will the summer heat wave ignite passion’s flame between two very unlikely bedfellows? Or will the flickers of love go up in smoke when they're faced with a whole town full of trouble? My name is Katy Sinclair and the heat's on for me this summer, in more ways than one. First, my jealous ex-boyfriend has been chasing me all over the country. I’ve been pretty good at escaping his maneuvers so far, but it’s getting old fast. Especially since I’m a cat shifter, and I don’t have too many more of my nine lives left. After finding refuge with my favorite uncle Lionel in a place off the ...

Curious Zelda: social media star, agony aunt, yoga teacher, cat. In The Adventures of a Curious Cat she gives insight into her view of the world and dispenses unparalleled wisdom. Zelda explains, in her unique voice, how to handle humans, how to communicate with furniture and, most importantly, how to live a life curiously. It's the ultimate self-help guide for any cat or, indeed, their human.

After spending several months banged up in Sunny Banks rescue center, life is looking good for Aubrey, a large tabby cat who has finally found his forever home with Molly and Jeremy. However, all that changes when a killer begins to target elderly people in the neighborhood. Aubrey wasn't particularly upset by some of the previous deaths—particularly that of Miss Jenkins, who enjoyed throwing stones at cats. But the latest victim, Mr. Telling, was one of the good humans.

Thrift shop til someone drops... It’s time for Halloween, and that means costume sales at the Pine Grove Thrift Store. After Jessica Braun finds her aunt’s odd stash of disguises, she will have more than enough inventory for this holiday. But where did the costumes come from? And why did Aunt Daphne collect them? When Jess and her friends reheat a cold case, they stir up dangers, old and new. And when her suspicions about the killer lead her down roads she never expected to travel, another life will be lost in Pine Grove. Which will Jess be more frightened of this Halloween—a murderer...

Thrift shop til someone drops... After a family friend dies under suspicious circumstances, Jessica Braun agrees to hold the estate sale for the deceased. She’s prepared for the job and bringing some help—her neighbor, her mother, and a new pup too. All is not as it seems, however, when drama erupts around the will. Selling off priceless heirlooms places Jess right in the middle of the conflict—and in the middle of the danger. When family feuds turn deadly—and the clues are pointing to murder—where will the Secondhand Sleuth find the answers she needs to bring the killer to justice?

After observing his cat, Ziggy, for years, Stephane Garnier became convinced that cats have life down to an art form, so he set out to share Ziggy's je ne sais quoi with the world. Highlighting 40 trademark cat qualities that are (almost) entirely applicable to human daily living, Garnier provides insights that are delightfully useful as well as tips for living a day in the life of a cat - and a Q&A to test your cat quotient to see how much work you have to do learn the subtle art of living like a feline.

Toto's brothers, Silver and Socks, and their best friend, Catface, have just been made Deputy Ninja Cats! But while celebrating, they accidentally break a boat belonging to a very important cat and find themselves heading north to a bootcamp for naughty animals. Deep in the Scottish Highlands, they must climb mountains, paddle leaky canoes and prove that they can work as a team. But something isn't quite right at the bootcamp, and Toto's ninja senses are on high alert.