Cat Humor

This short story is the perfect introduction to best-selling author Virginia Smith's latest series, Tales from the Goose Creek B&B. Set in the years before the Richardsons launch their bed and breakfast scheme, the quirky residents of the small Kentucky town are all in a tizzy over the upcoming Fall Festival. Alison, Al and Millie's headstrong daughter, astounds everyone with the news that she's getting married - in three weeks - to a Colombian!

Random but meaningful conversations between a cat and her hooman...as written by the clueless but well-meaning hooman. Me: So I've done this book thing. Cat: What's a book thing? Me: Well, books are those things in my bedroom that you sit on quite peacefully during the day and knock onto the floor in the middle of the night when I'm asleep. Cat: Aha. And what do you mean, you've done one? Me: It's about our adventures since you joined me, err, I mean took over the household. Cat: I see. Though, you didn't ask, did you? Me: Oh, is it a problem? Cat: Not necessarily, but I feel permission and...

A Conversation With A Cat That Might Not Have Actually Taken Place. Cat: Watchyadoin hooman? Me: Oh not much. Just putting the final touches to our book thingy. Cat: Catalorks, sounds important. Me: Sort of. But then, maybe, it isn't. Cat: Huh! Me: Well, I'm writing about a conversation that we're having at this very moment. Cat: Yep. With you so far. Me: But this conversation never really happened. Cat: So, umm, why are we having it then? You know, if it never happened. Me: Well, I needed something a bit bonkers for the back cover. Cat: So why not just make something up like you did before...

Viking Cats most definitely played a part in the incursions against England. Of this there is no doubt, despite efforts by so called “real” historians to cover this up. What is unclear is why there is little mention of Saxon Cats. One theory is that Saxons preferred dogs, usually big, mangy, smelly beasts that hunted stags and eat babies. Editors note; the eating of babies was usually blamed on the Viking invaders to scare the Saxon populace. Several famous Viking Cats do exist in history but probably as a hybrid of several heroic felines. For example, Balder Blackclaw was a fierce ...

Clarissa Abbot has been the minister at Shore Side Community Church in Shore Side, New Jersey for just over three months. She feels she is settling into the job well, when difficulties arise. One of the members of her congregation owns a haunted bed and breakfast. The peaceful ghost had previously been something of a tourist attraction, but now it has suddenly begun assaulting people, and the owner wants it exorcised. Clarissa explains that ministers don’t do that, and she also expresses some doubts about whether the attacks are really being carried out by a ghost. This leads the owner to...

After the turmoil in New York, another hopelessly unprepared hero meets powerful, mysterious characters with the power to change the world… Wade was a world-class cynic, an office drone who was desperate to escape his life. That was before he accidentally made a deal that sent his whole life spinning out of control. Now he’s in thrall to two strong, bewitching women who call themselves Queens of the Nile. He’s also plagued by wolves, the police, witches and ex-wives. They all want to ruin him. But he can see a turning point. After all, he’s got feline alchemy on his side. Maybe he ...

Archie Morningstar learns a big family secret and helps save the universe. All before breakfast! up at midnight. But today is Take Your Kid to Work Day, and Archie is finally allowed to ride along in his dad's taxi cab. He has been waiting eight years, eight months, and eight days for this moment to arrive. But he's about to discover his dad is no ordinary cab driver.... In fact, he drives an intergalactic space taxi!

Pool shark Jessie Hewitt likes to call the shots. But apparently her two best friends didn’t get that memo. Candy Poppe has taken up with the wrong man. And Karen Sembler? She’s been kidnapped! Jessie’s no-nonsense husband, Wilson Rye the cop guy, suggests she leave the crime-solving to the experts and the love lives to those involved. Does Jessie listen? Take a guess. Six Easy Pockets is loaded with all the humor, mayhem, and mystery Cindy Blackburn’s fans have come to expect. But this one also includes a millionaire, a mansion, and a princess! Enjoy! “I laugh, giggle, snort, and...

Meet Max - the mighty kitten and New York Times best seller. When Max meets Bird, Max thinks he'd like to be friends with Bird. He would also like to chase Bird and maybe eat him as a tasty snack. But that's not what friendship is all about...is it?

A cottage on the coast on a windy evening. Under a pool of yellow light, two figures face each other across a kitchen table. A man and a cat. The story about to be related is so unusual yet so terrifyingly plausible that it demands to be told in a single sitting. The man clears his throat, and leans forward, expectant. 'Shall we begin?' says the cat….

Welcome to the shadowy world where your cat’s cuddle might just be a reconnaissance mission. Here, each purr is suspect, every gift a warning, and the innocent act of sleeping on your keyboard? A strategic move in the silent battle for dominance. This isn’t just another day in your cozy, cat-dominated household—it’s an insight into the cunning mind behind those whiskers. Discover the art of survival in a land where being ignored is a power play, and affection could be the prelude to an assassination attempt. With a blend of dark humor and unnerving accuracy, navigate the minefield ...

Evil Cat vs. Awesome Dog! Get ready to meet Awesome Dog's number-one fan - Tina Tinkerwith. Tina's an obsessed toy designer who'll stop at nothing to get close to her idol, even if it means becoming a supervillian herself! Find out what happens when Awesome Dog and his pals face off against Tina and her army of robotic kitty toys in the awesomest Awesome Dog yet! The claws are coming out to settle the age-old debate once and for all, which is better? Cats or dogs?

She's never believed in ghosts... until now. As the owner of Sedona Bed and Breakfast, Bernadette Maxwell has always played up the rumors that her business was haunted. She’s never believed it herself, even though she can’t explain the odd odors that sometimes permeate the room or why a blast of cold air comes out of nowhere… until she has an accident and can suddenly see her resident ghost—her crazy, fun-loving, hippie grandmother, Ruby. When a guest is found dead, the police rule it a homicide. It becomes apparent Bernadette is not only a suspect, but also in the crosshairs of the...

Although Gryphon’s mom keeps removing the cat from her son’s bedroom, nothing seems to stop the determined feline from returning.

Humor, horror, and stanks. Ride monster waves, search for lost cookies, confront a witch, and battle the forces of Fectville with stench-filled water guns. Audiobook bonus: two live performance tracks. Ever been to the beach? Gone trick or treating? Heard ghost stories at summer camp? Conducted scientific reanimation experiments in the basement? A great listen about ordinary kids who get into extraordinary trouble.

In book three of this hysterical series, Klawde faces a challenger he never imagined: a dog, who has arrived on Earth to settle the intergalactic score. He's hyper, he's loyal, he's an all-around-good boy, and he's here to bring Klawde to justice. Can our ferocious feline evade the long paw of the law? Raj, on the other hand, is faced with his own out-of-town visitor who, although from Earth, may prove to be even more formidable: his grandmother. When she plans a birthday party Raj doesn't want, will he survive the embarrassment?

Rancher Mack Murphy has been buying up land in Southwest Colorado, threatening those who won’t sell, including Junior, the uncle of ex-sheriff Bud Shumway. Bud agrees to visit his uncle to help defuse things, never suspecting he would get caught right smack in the middle of Mack’s murder. And it becomes the toughest case Bud’s ever had to solve, as almost everyone is a suspect. Set in the Paradox Valley, a beautiful and remote area with a wooly Wild West history, this mystery will have you laughing, scared to death, and wondering when the mysterious Wild Man will strike again.

Did you know that just 10 minutes of laughter a day burns calories and keeps you trim? Do you need a good belly laugh or two to release the tension of the day? Would you like to be healthier, happier, and more relaxed? You don’t need a prescription pill just try to up your daily laughter quotient. Research shows that laughter lowers blood pressure, engages your rest-and-digest system, and is linked to physical changes in the body that reduce stress and even increase pain tolerance. So basically, y’all need to be laughing a lot more.

Dave Pigeon and his trusty sidekick, Skipper, are minding their own business in the garden shed when they see Mean Cat behaving very strangely... And why is she multiplying? The arrival of some very cute kittens is disastrous news! More cats? Ugh. But then the kittens come under threat... Are Dave and Skipper coldhearted enough to leave them defenseless? Especially when one looks a teeny, tiny little bit like Dave?

Four years have passed. Four long years since Ava and Leo have been in the same room, since he drove away with her heart in his hands and never looked back. Ava wouldn’t know how to begin to make up for all the time she’s lost with her best friend, who also happens to be the man of her dreams. Leo’s life has only grown better. Reciprocity is living the good life; a song on a hit movie soundtrack, loads of girls at every stop, getting ready to co-headline their first major tour. He doesn’t let himself think about the past and the girl he let slip away all those years ago. Ava knows ...