Animal Humor

It's almost the end of the school year, and Room Nine is taking a field trip to a farm! There's lots of fun farm stuff there, like a real actual barn and a real actual farmer. There are even real alive animals you can pet! Only, where's the gift shop? That's what Junie B. Jones would like to know. Surely no one would want Junie B. to go home empty-handed.

Theodosia Throckmorton has her hands full at the Museum of Legends and Antiquities in London. Her father may be head curator, but it is Theoand only Theowho is able to see all the black magic and ancient curses that still cling to the artifacts in the museum. Sneaking behind her fathers back, Theo uses old, nearly forgotten Egyptian magic to remove the curses and protect her father and the rest of the museum employees from the ancient, sinister forces that lurk in the museums dark hallways.

It’s Halloween in Abbott Cove, and Grandma Grant is keen to win the pumpkin pie competition. In fact she’s so eager to win, Harper suspects her grandmother may have used magic to enhance her entry. Already concerned and on the lookout for odd signs of magic, Harper’s stress levels shoot through the roof when someone is poisoned during the competition. Fearing her grandmother may be the number one suspect, Harper gets to work, determined to solve the mystery of the poisoned pumpkin pie. Note: this is a 15,000 word short story.. This story was first published under the name D. S. Butler...

Meet Conrad. You’ve never met a cat like him before. Neither has Lulu Lewis when he walks into her life one summer’s day. Mourning the recent death of her husband, the former police detective had expected a gentle retirement, quietly enjoying life on her new canal boat, The Lark, and visiting her mother-in-law Emily in a nearby care home. But when Emily dies suddenly in suspicious circumstances, Lulu senses foul play and resolves to find out what really happened. And a remarkable cat named Conrad will be with her every step of the way.

The Enormous Crocodile is planning what to have for his lunch. He's the greediest croc in the whole river, and he wants to eat something juicy and delicious. But what can the greedy grumptious brute guzzle up? Beware! He's looking for someone to feast upon... someone who looks a lot like YOU!

When Bolt, Annika, and Blackburn are given another cryptic clue by Omneseus the Seer, they know the time has come to defeat the baddest werepenguin, "the Stranger", and free the world's penguins from his evil reign. Only a very special tooth can bring the Stranger down, but of course, procuring this precious item is no easy task, and it doesn't help that Bolt can't stop hearing the Stranger in his head, trying to coax him to the dark side.

Read the book people are calling: "Agatha Christie meets The Fantastic Mr. Fox!" Winner of New York Book Reviews best read of 2020! "... edge-of-your-seat storytelling." "... a delightful, captivating novel..." "Riveting and adventure-packed!"Synopsis: A unique mystery novel told from the perspective of a raccoon named Gary. At the urging of his friend Jenny, Gary discovers he has the ability to impersonate other wild and domestic animals. At first, the goal is to access the wealth of resources inside the houses of the people living near their forest homes. But when some of the animals are ...

What’s Mac B.'s newest top-secret mission? Travel to Iceland and retrieve the ravens that were stolen from the Tower of London...before Britain is ruined. In Iceland, he discovers secret submarines, hungry polar bears, mysterious blueprints...and his old archnemesis! Is the KGB man behind this birdnapping? Can Mac get the ravens to safety? It's time for an epic top-secret smackdown between these two secret agents!

"A remarkably amusing and insightful novella." - Ryan Hyatt, author of the Terrafide cyberpunk series Robert Lopez invented technology to change the world, not destroy it. Starting a philosophical debate with his “braintroller” that allows animals to speak to each other and us, Robert inadvertently helps humankind stumble headlong into the apocalypse. In a near-future miasma of poor decision-making and economic principles gone awry, Robert must navigate the dystopian world he helped create while searching for safety, and maybe, if he’s lucky, redemption too. If you like to laugh at ...

A Cupcakes-And-Crime Caper A rock star turned lounge singer… turned killer? Superstar Roger Briars was living the high life—until his fiancé disappeared and he was accused of her murder. Now, decades later, Roger’s a semi-successful Vegas lounge singer. This time, when history repeats itself and Roger is accused of another murder, he won’t let it tank his career—not even when there’s “proof” that he’s the killer! Unfortunately, Nanna’s unwavering belief in Roger’s innocence isn’t enough to get him off the hook, and Tiffany must scramble to uncover the truth behind ...

Small Pig loves to sit in good, soft mud. When the farmer's wife cleans his pigpen, Small Pig runs away. In the city he finds a new mud puddle - but it is not full of mud at all. And now Small Pig has one big problem!

Fox 8 has always been known as the daydreamer in his pack, the one his fellow foxes regarded with a knowing snort and a roll of the eyes. That is, until Fox 8 develops a unique skill: He teaches himself to speak Yuman by hiding in the bushes outside a house and listening to children’s bedtime stories. The power of language fuels his abundant curiosity about people - even after danjer arrives in the form of a new shopping mall that cuts off his food supply, sending Fox 8 on a harrowing quest to help save his pack.

In book six of the Klawde series, our feline warlord has begun his reign as emperor of the universe! His headquarters? The litterbox command center in the Banerjee family basement. But be careful what you wish for - as Klawde finds out, even the lord of all living matter has to follow the rules, even if they're designed to squelch evil dreams. What's more, plots to overthrow him are rampant, and Klawde needs allies. Who can he turn to?

When Pete sees that the playground is in bad shape, he gets a totally groovy idea - make a new one! Pete calls in construction workers and cement mixers, backhoes and dump trucks to build the coolest playground ever. But when his plans don't work out, Pete learns that no matter what, you have to dream big.

Captured by cats! It's every rodent's worst nightmare. It all started when my cousin Trap convinced me to join him on a quest for a legendary island covered in silver. But before you could say "hot cheese on toast", we were attacked by a ship of pirate cats!

When Elsie, an orphan on the streets of Victorian London, hears about the mysterious Ice Monster - a woolly mammoth found at the North Pole - she’s determined to discover more.... Luckily, a chance encounter brings Elsie face-to-face with the creature, sparking the adventure of a lifetime - from London to the heart of the Arctic!

Nurk is a quiet homebody of a shrew. But when a mysterious plea for help arrives in the mail, he invokes the spirit of his fearless warrior-shrew grandmorther, Surka, and sets off to find the sender. It seems the prince of the dragonflies has been kidnapped, and Nurk is his last hope for rescue. Such a mission would be daunting for even the biggest, baddest, and bravest of shrews, and Nurk is neither big nor bad, and only a little brave. But he does his very best - and hopes his grandmother would be proud.

Dear possible listener of this audio, I want to be a writer, just like my Uncle Harold, who wrote a bunch of books about our friend Bunnicula. So I wrote It Came from Beneath the Bed!. It’s about a wirehaired dachshund puppy named Howie who saves the world from a disgusting, evil menace named...oops, that would give away the story! After I wrote my first book, my editor asked me to write another one. In Invasion of the Mind Swappers from Asteroid 6!, the lovable and smart (not to mention talented) Howie and his friend Delilah face their biggest challenge yet.

J.J. Tully is a former search-and rescue dog who is trying to enjoy his retirement after years of performing daring missions saving lives. So he's not terribly impressed when two chicks named Dirt and Sugar (who look like popcorn on legs) and their chicken mom show up demanding his help to track down their missing siblings. But driven by the promise of a cheeseburger, J.J. begins to track down clues.

Lost in a dark, spooky forest! So I sought shelter in a crumbling old mansion. But I quickly discovered that it was haunted - by cats!