Action Comedy

Hey, hey, book lovers, take off those big thick glasses - this is Deadpool speaking! Sorry Marvel, somethin' happened to your copy guy. Anyway, this is my first prose novel, and they got this dude Stefan Petrucha to write it. He's good people. He's written novels and comics. But here's the thing: This book is about dogs. Dogs that turn into big nasty monsters. And then I gotta kill 'em. Thing is, I like killing people - the ones that deserve it, anyway - but I won't kill dogs. So that's what we call a character dilemma.

Sissy Hankshaw, an almost flawlessly beautiful small-town girl with big-time dreams, hitchhikes her way into your heart, your hopes, and your sleeping bag in Tom Robbins's magical, funny, and most famous novel. Follow Sissy's amazing odyssey from Virginia to chic Manhattan to the Dakota Badlands, where FBI agents, cowgirls, and ecstatic whooping cranes explode in a deliciously drawn-out climax.

Otto Schneider isn’t the kind of guy who bothers to seek permission. The demons have withdrawn from the mortal realm, the attacks have ceased, but while humanity dares to hope they may have gone for good, the irascible German wizard knows better. In the face of overwhelming odds, he’s going to do the dumbest thing possible … attack. In the wake of the destruction in Croatia, Otto is taking the fight to the demons and he’s not going alone. It’s a stupid strategy, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work. But there’s a player missing from the board. Where is Anastasia? Now residing...

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

When Finlay Ashowan joins the staff of the King and Queen of Daxaria, he’s an enigma. No one knows where he comes from or how he came to be where he is, which suits Fin just fine. He’s satisfied simply serving as the royal cook, keeping nosy passersby out of his kitchen, and concocting some truly uncanny meals. But Fin’s secret identity doesn’t stay hidden for long. After all, it’s not every day a house witch and his kitten familiar, Kraken, take to meddling in imperial affairs.

SIX OVER-THE-TOP INSANE HOLIDAY INSTA-LOVE STANDALONES IN ONE STEAMY BUNDLE! THIS IS INSTA-LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN . . . ANNABELLE WINTERS STYLE! THIS BOX SET CONTAINS: TAKEN ON THANKSGIVING (88 pages) CAPTIVE FOR CHRISTMAS (89 pages) NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS (73 pages) VAMPIRE'S CURVY VALENTINE (93 pages) FLAGGED ON THE FOURTH (100 pages) HOME FOR HALLOWEEN (115 pages) AND EACH BOOK CONTAINS: OVER-THE-TOP STEAM! (Yes, we're going there . . . ;)) OVER-THE-TOP PLOTS (Wait, what's a plot?) OVER-THE-TOP DRAMA! (I mean completely ridiculous melodrama, of course . . .) This is Instalove, ...

Switters is a contradiction for all seasons: an anarchist who works for the government, a pacifist who carries a gun, a vegetarian who sops up ham gravy, a cyberwhiz who hates computers, a robust bon vivant who can be as squeamish as any fop, a man who, though obsessed with the preservation of innocence, is aching to deflower his high-school-age stepsister (only to become equally enamored of a nun ten years his senior). Yet there is nothing remotely wishy-washy about Switters. He doesn't merely pack a pistol. He is a pistol.

Is two Jacks too many, or the perfect pair? Curvy, beautiful Brienne always thought she was playing the good girl, but never really believed that good girls finished last until now. While on a routine trip home to get a quick change of clothes, she surprises her boyfriend at the worst possible time... But Owen and Lyle Jack are quick to make the most of this opportunity. They've had their eye on super-smart Brienne and they're not just going to let her slip away! Can Brienne really keep two men happy without risking a spectacular crash and burn.... Or burning her own heart in the process? ...

Ten years ago, they joined the CIA. Six years ago, he left the game. Five years ago, they fell in love. One year ago, she ran out into the cold with absolutely no intention of ever coming back. And two minutes ago, they woke up, bloody and bruised and handcuffed together in the dark. They don’t know where they are. They don’t know how they got there. And they have absolutely no idea who is after them or what this nameless, faceless villain wants.

Boo-yah! Charlotte’s finally got this thing called ‘life’ figured out. Or so she thinks... With a supportive heart-throb boyfriend and a rewarding job she’s passionate about, she’s set to reconnect with her mother (and her half-siblings) in Florida over the Thanksgiving holidays. Charlotte’s sister is obsessed with the lost city of Atlantis and an ancient roman coin. Normally, Charlotte would be all about hunting ancient treasure...but she’s grown up, learned from her mistakes, yada,yada, yada. But (and you know there is always a but) weird things are happening, including ...

Earth has been nothing but bad luck for Mia Ambrose. So when the opportunity arises for her to be a nanny on a different planet, she jumps on it. But she should’ve researched her new employer a bit more. When he turns out to be a strict, super hot and stuffy military commander, she wonders if her bad luck followed her. Tharon is the highest-ranking commander in the Tor’vian military. And he has no idea how to take care of his children, a set of eight-year-old twins. Help comes in the form of hiring a nanny from the planet Earth. Mia isn’t exactly what he expected in a nanny. She’s ...

Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.

It begins as an innocent trip to the deli-mart, on a quest for nachos. But Stephanie Plum and her partner, Lula, are clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. A robbery leads to an explosion, which leads to the destruction of yet another car. It would be just another day in the life of Stephanie Plum, except that she becomes the target of a gang—and of an even scarier, more dangerous force that comes to Trenton. With super bounty hunter Ranger acting more mysteriously than ever (and the tension with vice cop Joe Morelli getting hotter), she finds herself with a decision to make.

Following his newfound fame for apprehending plastic surgeon to the stars and serial killer Dr. Vanderlay Mukerjee, Gary moves back into the five-million-dollar mansion he bought with his lottery winnings. What was formerly Turpentine Acres is now Kensington Gardens, an upscale community that frowns upon Gary's lawn ornaments and Confederate flag.

Niles Mason's troubles continue as his exact double conspires to embroil Russia and the US in a devastating war. As he attempts to avoid an untimely death, Mason meets some unlikely allies who believe in him, and his tale of a missing fortune. * The second Ruthless book has been published in two parts, this is part two of Ruthless, And Then Some Too. This is due to Audio and Paperback restrictions. 788 pages did not sit well with the software.

It takes only one halfling bomb, and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside-down - or downside-up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts - from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses.

A grouch who’s really an alpha cinnamon roll, a sunshine who’s really a brat, and a Valentine’s Day date they’ll never forget… Maddie When you’re short and curvy and run a cupcake shop, people naturally think you’re sweet. Sweet – I hate the word! I can play the part, but my friends know the real me: she’s a little quirky, has the sense of humor of a pre-teen boy, and swears like a sailor. After a string of dating disasters, two of my regular customers encourage me to sign up for the local radio station’s Valentine’s Day matchmaking contest. I’m about to tell them no...

The beloved author of The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared returns with an enchanting adventure that skewers the greed and hypocrisy that dominates our time and holds lessons about what’s truly important in life.

Are you a fan of Jack Reacher, John Wick, and The Equalizer?! Meet Ray Price. Ex-Cop, Ex-Plosive! "There's so many laugh out-loud moments, you almost forget everyone is fighting for their lives." Ray Price's days as a Detroit cop are over. When word drops that his estranged younger brother is missing, Ray escapes from his broken career--and even more broken marriage--to return to his small Michigan hometown looking for answers. Teaming up with an on-the-run hooker, Ray quickly becomes convinced someone involved with the powerful, corrupt family running the town made his brother disappear....

The Cooke and Hood families have been at each other’s throats since the Spanish Main days. The latest chapter in their piratic rivalry takes place in present day, when an old treasure map turns up. None of this seems to matter to Morgan Cooke, a cowardly, landlubbing accountant entirely ignorant of his heritage until his estranged father, Isaac, in need of crewmen, kidnaps him and thrusts him into the fray. When Morgan wakes up on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean, he learns that piracy still flourishes, albeit with far more discretion than in the old days—pirates disguise their ...