Action Comedy

Hey, hey, book lovers, take off those big thick glasses - this is Deadpool speaking! Sorry Marvel, somethin' happened to your copy guy. Anyway, this is my first prose novel, and they got this dude Stefan Petrucha to write it. He's good people. He's written novels and comics. But here's the thing: This book is about dogs. Dogs that turn into big nasty monsters. And then I gotta kill 'em. Thing is, I like killing people - the ones that deserve it, anyway - but I won't kill dogs. So that's what we call a character dilemma.

Coming Soon! Book 2 – Araphon. Carson, Calista, and their quirky crew go toe-to-toe with the Galactic Council, braving peril, humor, and intrigue to unlock ancient Founder secrets! Galactic Mayhem Meets an Unlikely Hero He’s an accidental captain; she’s a stunning alien genius. Love, adventure, humor, and cosmic secrets entwine in this star-swept odyssey! Carson Twiddle hadn’t planned on his day being interrupted by a sentient cube. Then again, nothing in his life ever went according to plan. A file clerk with no ambition and even less confidence, Carson was content with his ...

Dozens of Cameras Millions of Viewers One Second chance When Nikki and her old high school flame go on a reality TV show, they’re locked in a home while the cameras roll. The goal? Help these high school sweethearts fall back in love. Is the old spark still alive or did it fizzle out long ago?

When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy, and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements - such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks - that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated.

Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.

A plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, and the Dread Necromancer Steve....

Ten years ago, they joined the CIA. Six years ago, he left the game. Five years ago, they fell in love. One year ago, she ran out into the cold with absolutely no intention of ever coming back. And two minutes ago, they woke up, bloody and bruised and handcuffed together in the dark. They don’t know where they are. They don’t know how they got there. And they have absolutely no idea who is after them or what this nameless, faceless villain wants.

Archaeologist Dr. Socorro “Corrie” Mejía has a bone to pick. Literally. It’s been Corrie’s life goal to lead an expedition deep into the Mexican jungle in search of the long-lost remains of her ancestor, Chimalli, an ancient warrior of the Aztec empire. But when she is invited to join an all-expenses-paid dig to do just that, Corrie is sure it’s too good to be true...and she’s right. As the world-renowned expert on Chimalli, by rights Corrie should be leading the expedition, not sharing the glory with her disgustingly handsome nemesis.

Earth has been nothing but bad luck for Mia Ambrose. So when the opportunity arises for her to be a nanny on a different planet, she jumps on it. But she should’ve researched her new employer a bit more. When he turns out to be a strict, super hot and stuffy military commander, she wonders if her bad luck followed her. Tharon is the highest-ranking commander in the Tor’vian military. And he has no idea how to take care of his children, a set of eight-year-old twins. Help comes in the form of hiring a nanny from the planet Earth. Mia isn’t exactly what he expected in a nanny. She’s ...

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

Brant's always had trouble with the ladies... ...becoming the Wizard's Apprentice is helping...a bit! Working at Burke and Dunne to pay for college, Brant had always considered the curiosity shop a fun place, where he could unwind. Following the death of one of it's owners, though, things get somewhat more complicated. Dutch Dunne, the surviving owner, seems to want Brant to be his apprentice...The Wizard's Apprentice. Is the old codger full of it? Brant thinks the downhill slide to dementia is accelerating for his beloved boss, but that was before weird things started to happen to him. Is ...

Alexei Lebedev’s journey on the Pacific Crest Trail begins with a single snake. And it is angling for the hot stranger who seemed to have appeared out of thin air. Lex is prepared for rattlesnakes, blisters, and months of solitude. What he isn’t prepared for is Ben Caravalho. But somehow—on a 2,500-mile trail—Alexei keeps running into the outgoing and charismatic hiker with golden-brown eyes, again and again. It might be coincidence. Then again, maybe there’s a reason the trail keeps bringing them together . . .

When Finlay Ashowan joins the staff of the King and Queen of Daxaria, he’s an enigma. No one knows where he comes from or how he came to be where he is, which suits Fin just fine. He’s satisfied simply serving as the royal cook, keeping nosy passersby out of his kitchen, and concocting some truly uncanny meals. But Fin’s secret identity doesn’t stay hidden for long. After all, it’s not every day a house witch and his kitten familiar, Kraken, take to meddling in imperial affairs.

Chuck's Dead. Apparently that's good news. There are rules, though. Apparently, that's bad news. Chuck's mentor in Hell, Lucky, really isn't that good at his job and failed to mention to him that there was a big taboo about being intimate with the denizens of Heaven, succubi, and even the angels. That's not going to stop the two of them from having a great time in the afterlife, though! As he learns to navigate the pitfalls and the rewards, he continues to realize that the women of Hell want all the hard, fast, unprotected sex he can muster, their fertile bodies craving anything their man ...

Is two Jacks too many, or the perfect pair? Curvy, beautiful Brienne always thought she was playing the good girl, but never really believed that good girls finished last until now. While on a routine trip home to get a quick change of clothes, she surprises her boyfriend at the worst possible time... But Owen and Lyle Jack are quick to make the most of this opportunity. They've had their eye on super-smart Brienne and they're not just going to let her slip away! Can Brienne really keep two men happy without risking a spectacular crash and burn.... Or burning her own heart in the process? ...

Sissy Hankshaw, an almost flawlessly beautiful small-town girl with big-time dreams, hitchhikes her way into your heart, your hopes, and your sleeping bag in Tom Robbins's magical, funny, and most famous novel. Follow Sissy's amazing odyssey from Virginia to chic Manhattan to the Dakota Badlands, where FBI agents, cowgirls, and ecstatic whooping cranes explode in a deliciously drawn-out climax.

Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him.

Stephanie was married to him for about fifteen minutes before she caught him cheating on her with her archnemesis, Joyce Barnhardt. Another fifteen minutes after that, Stephanie filed for divorce, hoping never to see either one of them again.

My biggest worry used to be whether my rogue character would finally loot that stupid dagger after six weeks of grinding. Now? It’s surviving daycare pickup runs, cooking toddler-friendly meals without setting the house on fire, and not getting murdered by magical psychos. It all started when my sister dumped her five-year-old son Adam on me because of some "emergency." I figured I’d Netflix, babysit, and maybe teach the kid how to fake sick days like a pro. What I didn’t plan on? Finding out Adam’s got magic. The dangerous, world-shaking kind. The kind that paints a target on his ...