Charlie

I didn't want Mrs Cyclopolos to explode. The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them, but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye, and I wasn't sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye, but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half and turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet.

My name is Charlie Ian Duncan. I will be 12 on 2 February. I have written this history of my war with the grannies because I need everyone to know that I didn't mean for Mrs Cyclopolos to blow up. I just wanted a paper round. When I say 'my war with the grannies', I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend, Hils; my second best friend, Rashid; Peter the Iraqi, who isn't afraid of anything (well, apart from one thing); Warren and his magical bike, TwelveSpeed; and those crazy people we met underground.

It begins with an interrupted story. Then, a mysterious box that speaks and sings. Add unusually unusual teachers, incredible lurking from the Lurker, an insect orchestra and a bungling burglar and it's up to Charlie and Hils to save three innocent bugs from the forces of evil.

It begins with an interrupted story. Then, a mysterious box that speaks and sings. Add unusually unusual teachers, incredible lurking from the Lurker, an insect orchestra and a bungling burglar, and it's up to Charlie and Hils to save three innocent bugs from the forces of evil. Another hilarious adventure starring Charlie and Hils from comedian, actor, singer and dancer (it's true!) Alan Brough.