Waking Up to Narcissism Podcast Por Tony Overbay LMFT arte de portada

Waking Up to Narcissism

Waking Up to Narcissism

De: Tony Overbay LMFT
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"Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!Copyright 2025 Waking Up to Narcissism Desarrollo Personal Higiene y Vida Saludable Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns

    The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns
    Jul 4 2025
    What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it? In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere. Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoids reality, and the exhausting habit of managing everyone else's emotions instead of allowing people to have their own experiences. Through real-life examples and practical insights, you'll learn to recognize these childhood survival strategies that have become adult relationship roadblocks. Whether you're the people-pleaser who can't say no, the perfectionist who fears vulnerability, or the controller trying to manage everyone's feelings, this conversation offers eye-opening insights into how these patterns formed—and more importantly, how to outgrow them. What you'll discover: • Why emotional reasoning ("I feel it, so it must be true") sabotages relationships • How childhood adaptations become adult limitations • Practical tools for recognizing your own emotional immaturity patterns • Actionable strategies for developing genuine emotional maturity Ready to stop reacting from your inner child and start responding from your wise adult self? This episode will show you exactly where to begin. Find The Steph and Craig Show at stephandcraig.co 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:34 Guest Introduction: Steph and Craig 02:22 Emotional Immaturity Epidemic 04:18 Therapy Insights and Personal Anecdotes 05:24 Interview Begins: Revisiting Past Conversations 06:52 Emotional Weight in Relationships 09:55 Understanding Emotional Immaturity 13:02 Inner Child and Emotional Development 27:35 Black and White Thinking in Relationships 30:55 Reflecting on Past Behaviors 31:53 The Power of Language in Relationships 33:07 Understanding Black or White Thinking 34:45 Magical Thinking and Emotional Maturity 43:12 Emotional Reasoning in Adults 58:46 Navigating Faith and Personal Validation 01:00:13 The Impact of External Validation on Self-Identity 01:00:42 The Role of Accountability and Magical Thinking 01:01:16 Spiritual Perspectives on Differentiation 01:02:37 Emotional Boundaries and Responsibility 01:04:35 Navigating Emotional Charges in Relationships 01:06:48 The Journey of Emotional Maturity 01:11:30 Mind Reading and Assumptions in Relationships 01:16:10 The Continuous Learning Process 01:23:31 The Importance of Emotional Maturity 01:26:05 Final Thoughts and Call to Action Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    1 h y 29 m
  • Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?

    Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?
    Jun 27 2025
    Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity 02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity 08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships 19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity 24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting 26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity 29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism 35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions 37:06 The Power of Slowing Down 37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental 41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships 42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning 45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity 48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity 53:42 Parenting with Curiosity 55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace 59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools 01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    1 h y 9 m
  • Death by 1,000 Cuts: Still Standing After All 9 Lives (and Then Some)

    Death by 1,000 Cuts: Still Standing After All 9 Lives (and Then Some)
    Jun 17 2025
    How many times have you been told you were too sensitive? Or accused of overreacting? Maybe you’ve heard things like, “It’s not a big deal,” “You need to calm down,” or “It was just a joke—why are you making this such a thing?” And each time, you questioned yourself. Was it really that bad? Were you imagining things? Because on their own, the comments, the criticisms, the passive-aggressive digs might seem small—hardly worth mentioning. But they kept happening. Over and over. Until you stopped trusting your own perception. That’s the nature of death by 1,000 cuts. It’s not the severity of one moment—it’s the slow, relentless erosion of your sense of self, done quietly enough that you begin to doubt whether you’re even bleeding at all. In this ninth edition of the Death by 1,000 Cuts series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives even deeper into the subtle ways being in a relationship with the narcissist, or emotionally immature, erodes your sense of self, one dismissive comment, one double standard, one guilt trip at a time. Tony explains how this isn’t just about pain. It’s about power. You’ll hear real stories from real people who’ve endured the emotional whiplash, the rewritten history, and the gaslighting—and who are waking up to their self-worth. He explores what happens when those who were meant to love us chip away at our confidence, and what it means to finally stop apologizing for noticing. And Tony shares how to recognize eventually, and then celebrate the resilience of those who are still standing, not just after 1,000 cuts, but after every life they had to rebuild. If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one keeping score of the damage—or the only one still fighting to heal—this episode is for you. 00:00 A True Story Begins 00:20 The Number Nine Debate 01:28 Mark's Research and Sarah's Reaction 03:17 The Argument Escalates 05:24 Mark's Apology and Internal Struggle 06:11 Mark's Conversation with Jim 07:05 Introduction to Death by a Thousand Cuts 08:58 Understanding Emotional Abuse 11:08 Listener's Email on Validation 14:45 Financial Control in Divorce 19:21 Emotional Betrayal in Vulnerability 22:44 The Car Disagreement 32:17 Emotional Immaturity and Self-Sufficiency 34:00 The Weaponization of Humor 37:27 The Impact of Passive-Aggressive Comments 47:38 Control and Manipulation in Relationships 50:31 Emotional Triangulation and Rewriting Narratives 54:57 Healing and Moving Forward 57:59 Mindfulness Prompt: The Cut and the Healing
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    1 h y 1 m
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So many epiphanies here, giving me the tools to deal with him!! I am a LMSW and I never thought I’d be in a relationship like this. It’s so eye opening thank you so much for sharing.

Eye opening & Strengthening!

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Tony has such a way about educating us all about narcissistic personality disorder & emotional immaturity. He’s a gem!

Life changing

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so helpful listening in on others storys. if I can get validation for what I've been thru, it helps fill a little of that void so I can move forward after being in two long narcissistic relationships over the last 18yrs..

clarity...

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Life Changing. Encouraging. Clear.
One of my Favorite things about Tony is: He speaks clear and calm!
Many great folks trying to share on this topic often share in a way that is "very passionate" I have found that people sharing in an URGENT way are very triggering to me. So much surrounding this topic is already scary and you feel so unsure of your self as you even explore whether this may finally be what is so wrong in your relationship. I'm very sensitive to the urgency and voice tones used.
Tony you are a true treasure, thank you for letting your light shine, and in doing so helping so many others start to let theirs shine as well.

Thank You~

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My wife and I have been struggling for awhile. There was a lot of hurt between us both. She asked me to listen to this podcast. Holy cow I had no idea how many of my own problems I had with myself because I didn't know the symptoms and the words to have it all make sense. Tony is incredible and helpful in putting it in a way everyone can understand. I listen to the Virtual Couch now too which is extremely helpful for my own self worth and positive thinking.

I'm a man, this is extremely helpful

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