Thrive Beyond Pornography

De: Zach Spafford
  • Resumen

  • Learning to Thrive Beyond Pornography use was the greatest challenge of our life and marriage. It had rocked my self confidence, tainted all of the most important experiences of my life and become the most impossible challenge I had as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With this podcast or at https://www.zachspafford.com you'll learn about the struggle, how to overcome pornography use, and where to find additional resources to begin to thrive beyond pornography with your spouse. At some point I took a step away from all the 12 step meetings and councilors and started to figure out my own brain, to look at my issue as something that I had the answer to and I was going to figure it out. Here I share those lessons and give you the power to start your own journey free. Whether you struggle with unwanted pornography use or are the spouse or partner, whether you feel stuck or just don't know where to start, here I will teach you principles, tools and skills that you can use today to change how you think and, in the end, what you do. You'll hear interviews with my spouse, with experts on human sexuality and with former and current pornography users on how you can overcome your own struggle with addictive behavior. The Thrive Beyond Pornography podcast will bring new perspective to your struggle and keep you coming back to improve all aspects of your life.
    Copyright 2022 Zach Spafford
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Episodios
  • New podcast Direction
    Oct 17 2022
    Hey, everybody welcome to our podcast I think you guys probably noticed something that there was no intro music. did you did you guys notice that did you notice that Darcy I don't know because I can't hear it. So. If you notice that there was no welcome to episode number 163 this is the one hundred and sixty third episode of our podcast the podcast that I've been producing since October of 2019 so that's kind of cool and you probably notice that there's no intro music or intro. Whatever. That we usually hear every time you turn on the podcast. We're changing. We're growing and we're looking to become hopefully more valuable to you as we do that. So the very first thing that I want you to know from us is that there's a name change. You might have noticed that. Maybe when you open up your app this morning for the first time in a week that that the name of the podcast has changed to thrive beyond pornography or it might not be updated yet depend. Yeah on you might know same device to use. It can sometimes take a week for that to like process through. Apple Podcasts or Amazon or Spotify wherever you're listening from that said, the reason we changed. The name is a really important one and d'arcy and I have we've kind of worked a lot on thriving. Becoming a thriving couple becoming individuals who are thriving on our own and hopefully you guys have been doing the same for yourselves. So we want to focus on. And and this is the second thing that you'll probably notice as we go forward. Is you know we're going to continue to focus on individuals who have struggled to overcome pornography. We are also going to integrate what was once separate coaching for individuals to couples and those in relationships. Who want to not just eliminate a pornography struggle from their lives. But really begin to move past that and begin to thrive and begin to create growth and intimacy in their most valuable relationships. Darcy and I have worked on that a lot ourselves we we found that. And and I've said this to so many people as they've come through and done a consult with me or just talked to us in random places at random times because people stop us and they're like hey you talk about porn all the time. Yeah, absolutely. Um and I've said this so many times it's when the couple. Really does the work together is when the relationship moves forward the most effectively and it's also when the person who struggles with pornography is able to move forward most effectively. It's when the person who doesn't struggle with pornography who may feel wounded and. Oftentimes the word betrayed comes out and they are trying to find a new reality that they're proud of we we want to help both those people we want to help spouses. We want to help the person who struggles. So that's why we're changing. From from the self-mastery podcast to thrive beyond pornography. Additionally, we are going to change some of the things that we do in our coaching our coaching will now offer more to both spouses as they work together to move forward. Through and then beyond the struggles that have been keeping them from thriving. So if you've been listening to our podcast long enough. You've probably noticed that we don't just say hey remove pornography and everything's going to be amazing. And one of the things that we realized in our own journey was that just stopping the behavior of Zach turning to pornography did not necessarily create the thriving marriage that we wanted the intimacy and the connection. And the sexual relationship that we wanted. It was a great thing and it was exciting when he did stop turning for pornography but it it wasn't the answer to creating the thriving marriage that we wanted to yeah it didn't help heal. Everything that needed to be healed and it didn't give us necessarily the tools to actually enjoy each other to not make it problematic when something went wrong and to you know, keep from creating long-term rifts in our in our relationship. So...
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    14 m
  • How we justify and it leads to porn
    Oct 10 2022
    One of my clients sent me a message a couple of weeks ago that I thought was common but interesting.   He was talking about how he had become bored while he was studying and the thought crossed his mind to google something that he could tell at the time was a distraction from what he would ideally choose.  He just wanted a little high, just wanted to kill time with something interesting, as he described it. I wanted something more subtle.  Then he moved from there, out of curiosity googled, “do people walk around naked at home?” So, he asked me, “Is there anything that I can do, even when my brain is being subtle, is there any tool that I can catch myself?” Knowing as he mentioned in his voice memo, I would suggest that he listen to my course video “the truth, the justification, and the lie” Then he said, “Is there anything that I can do to get rid of this right away?” One of the things I do in my individual coaching is deep dive into what is going on in the 30 or so minutes before we choose pornography.  For this client, his brain is being very subtle as it offers him something that will be highly appealing at the moment.   What is happening for him in that moment is that the habit running part of the brain has received a cue, that subtly begins the response process, in order to create a highly appealing reward.  In episode 69 I dive into how our brain can create new habits.  One of the keys that this client and everyone who is working to eliminate a pornography habit from their life must do is create and practice new ways to respond to cues.   I know that sounds overly simplistic, even if it is true.   Those who join my membership and those who get individual coaching with me work on some very specific techniques to retrain their brains to respond to the cues we receive in order to avoid the rabbit hole altogether in the long run.  Before we change our habits, we have to be able to recognize when our brain is being subtle and start identifying where we are playing into its desire to feel good now rather than deal with what’s uncomfortable.  I think there are a few questions I might to ask that might help decipher between the wholesome passing of time and the start of the rabbit hole. It’s also really important to ask these questions with the same curiosity that you are bringing to the questions that are working to pull you away from your values.   Is what I am currently doing on the internet something that I would be comfortable and confident doing when I am at my best and living my values? If I were to ask myself on my best day, considering my current relationship with pornography would I encourage myself to search away on the current topic or would I be able to see that I might be approaching a line of what I would feel was contrary to my values? If I look into my past have there been similar instances like this that have lead me down a path that I am wanting to stay off? If I were on the outside looking in would I be comfortable with the person I am currently being?
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    21 m
  • Principles and the New FSY Guide
    Oct 3 2022
    Set a Free consultation with Zach at zachspafford.com/workwithzach
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    24 m
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Quit porn forever, Because I have a choice, change

The Best information that I have discovered in my 30 year struggle with pornography. Highly recommended, please listen and share. Zach and Darcy have been through this battle and are sharing the secrets to freedom. Thank you and keep going!

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Just real

Listening to Zach has helped me to change how I see myself in this struggle. I've been in recovery for 14 years and have learned more in the first 10 podcasts to help me understand myself than I have in all those years. This really is amount self mastery not only overcoming buffering emotions with pornography. Thank you Zach!!

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