How fragile is your ego?

We are all familiar with people that have a hard time admitting they could be wrong. No matter the misdemeanor, never mind the evidence in front of them, they refuse to acknowledge the facts and stick to their story as if their very lives depend on it. Unfortunately, this quirk is not just limited to hardened criminals and pathological narcissists. Within all of us is the overwhelming desire to protect our ego and soothe our sense of self. It’s very unpleasant to admit we could be wrong. Unpleasant and humbling. Ultimately, our very purpose on this planet is to work on our middos and become the very best version of ourselves. And that version includes being truthful. It includes courageously learning humility. And it includes developing the psychological fortitude to be ok with being wrong.

The Chovos HaLevovos (Shaar HaBitachon) explains that one of the basics of our belief system is, “You can’t harm me; you can’t help me.” Everything is decreed by HASHEM. Every ounce of suffering, every event that is to befall a person is all decided, defined and directed by HASHEM Himself. No human being can inflict damage to me that wasn’t already decided by HASHEM.

With this cognition comes a deep understanding: the doctor isn’t the determinant of whether I live or die, the threat isn’t the failing economy, and the danger isn’t man. All humans are powerless to affect my destiny. And all along, I am always safe and sound, guarded and protected.

From the moment the Jewish People arrived at Har Sinai, it became a frightening and awe inspiring experience. Why did Hashem want to evoke fear into us? If this was to be the wedding between Klal Yisroel and the Ribbono Shel Olam, shouldn’t it have been music instead of thunder and lightning? Rabbi Shafier explains that the purpose of the fear was to drive home the message of responsibility. By accepting the Torah, we not only had the power to change the world, the very existence of the world became dependent on us. Because of matan Torah, Klal Yisroel is now responsible for energizing both the physical and spiritual worlds. What an awesome achariyus!