Your body often knows something’s off before your mind does. That racing heart? Tight shoulders? Stomach in knots? In this episode, we unpack the neuroscience behind those automatic reactions—and show you how to decode them.

Still dismissing your body’s signals as “overreacting” or “too sensitive”? Using Dr. Stephen Porges’ groundbreaking polyvagal theory, I break down your internal traffic light system—Green, Yellow, and Red Zones—and how they shape your mood, energy, and relationships.

🎧 Press play to learn how to stop spiraling and start working with your nervous system, not against it.

🔥 What Your Nervous System Is Really Trying to Tell You

✨ Shoulders tense before you realize you're stressed
✨ Stomach clenches mid-conversation
✨ Heart races before a presentation—even if you feel prepared
✨ These are biological survival responses, not personal failings

🎯 The Traffic Light Model (Green, Yellow, Red Zones)

🟢 Green: Calm, clear, open-hearted
🟡 Yellow: Fight/Flight—anxious, overwhelmed, hyper-alert
🔴 Red: Freeze/Shutdown—numb, withdrawn, burnt out

💡 Powerful Quotes

"These aren’t personality traits. They’re nervous system responses based on how safe or threatened you feel."

“Your nervous system is not broken. It’s responding to your environment, your stress levels, your past experiences, and your current capacity.”

“You’re not forcing yourself to calm down or pushing through when your system is saying it needs something different.”

🛠 2 Simple Tools to Work with Your Nervous System

• Window of Tolerance Mapping: A daily self-check-in
• Nervous System State Check-In: A Body–Mind–Heart awareness practice

🎁 This Week’s Invitation: Just notice what zone you're in throughout the day—no fixing, no forcing. The more skilled you become at recognizing your state, the better you can regulate your emotions, respond from your values, and stop being at the mercy of your triggers.

Next Week: The Courage to Disappoint—how fear of letting others down keeps us stuck in survival states.

💛 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear: You’re not broken—you’re beautifully wired for survival, and you can learn to feel safe again.

#neuroscience #nervoussystem #mentalfitness #emotionalregulation #polyvagaltheory #selfawareness

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

You don't need anyone's approval to rest, say no, or want what you want. This episode reveals the 5 permission slips you've been waiting for—and why the only signature that matters is yours.

Still waiting for someone to give you the green light to rest, say no, or want something different? This final Summer Superfood episode explores Self-Permission—the most powerful ingredient for mental fitness and authentic living.
🎧 Press play to learn how to reclaim your inner authority and stop outsourcing your life.

🔥 Why You're Still Seeking Permission Slips

✨ We've learned approval equals safety
✨ Fear of being called selfish (especially women)
✨ Confusing people-pleasing with kindness
✨ Terrified of judgment and criticism

🎯 The 5 Permission Slips You Need to Write Yourself

1. Permission to Rest Without Earning It - Rest isn't reward for productivity; it's a basic human need
2. Permission to Say NO Without Explanation - "NO" is a complete sentence
3. Permission to Change Your Mind - Growth means wanting different things
4. Permission to Disappoint People - You weren't put here to meet everyone's expectations
5. Permission to Want What You Want - Your desires don't need committee approval

💡 Powerful Quotes

• "Chronic people-pleasing isn't kindness—it's self-abandonment masquerading as virtue"
• "The permission you've been waiting for isn't coming from outside you, it's coming from within"
• "You don't need anyone else's approval to live according to your own values"

🛠 4-Step Process to Become Your Own Permission Slip Writer

1. Identify what you're waiting for permission to do/say/want
2. Write it down - "I give myself permission to..."
3. Sign your signature - the only one that matters
4. Honor it - practice trusting your own authority

Invitation: Write yourself ONE specific permission slip this week. Sign it. Honor it.

⏱️ Episode Timestamps

00:01 - Permission slips from childhood vs adult life
02:25 - The 5 permission slips most people need
08:46 - Why we're still seeking external validation
12:05 - 4-step process to write your own permission
15:51 - Your summer invitation to self-permission

💛 Share this episode with someone who needs permission to give themselves permission. Together we create ripples of authentic living.

#mentalfitness #selfleadership #permissiontosayno #peoplepleasing #authenticliving

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Your gut’s not overreacting—it’s predicting. Discover your body’s 4 secret superpowers (plus the science that makes it real).

Your body is basically a walking, talking supercomputer and it's been trying to send you messages this entire time. Most of us? We've been ignoring the hell out of it.

We treat our bodies like inconvenient vehicles we're stuck with, something to manage or fix. But here's the reframe: Your body isn't just carrying you around. It's constantly gathering intelligence, processing information, and trying to guide you toward what's best for you. The messages it’s sending aren’t weakness—they’re wisdom.
This week’s Summer Superfood is Body Wisdom—and it’s not woo-woo, it’s neuroscience.

In this episode, I break down the 4 hidden superpowers your body already has… and the tiny tools to help you use them.

🎧 Tap play to learn how to decode your body’s signals, trust your gut, and reconnect with the wisest guide you have—yourself.

🔥 Discover Your Body's 4 Hidden Superpowers:
✨ The Bullsh*t Detector – Your gut can spot fake people, toxic situations & bad decisions before your brain catches up
✨ The Energy Reader – Read room energy faster than you can analyze it (hello, mirror neurons)
✨ The Stress Early Warning System – Tight shoulders, clenched jaw? Your body’s screaming “pay attention”
✨ The Need Translator – Constantly telling you what you need: rest, movement, nourishment, connection

🧠 The Science That'll Blow Your Mind:

• Your gut has more nerve endings than your spinal cord. It’s your enteric nervous system, aka your “second brain”
• Mirror neurons fire in milliseconds, reading emotional energy before conscious thought kicks in

🎯 4 Activation Techniques to Reconnect:

1. Body scan check-in – 30 seconds, head to toe, twice daily
2. Gut feeling audit – Ask your body before making decisions
3. Energy inventory – Track who/what drains vs energizes you
4. Movement medicine – Let your body choose what movement it needs

🔥 Quotes That Hit Different:

• Your body isn't being needy—it’s being informative
• Those signals you’ve been ignoring? They’re not weakness. They’re wisdom
• The more you listen to your body’s intelligence, the stronger these superpowers become

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 — Your Body’s Been Talking (You Just Haven’t Been Listening)
01:27 — Why We Ignore Our Body’s Signals
03:08 — Gut Feelings & Your Second Brain
04:35 — Emotional Energy & Mirror Neurons
05:32 — Stress Warnings & Somatic Clues
07:00 — What Your Body Really Needs (And Why You Ignore It)
10:46 — Why We Were Trained to Dismiss Our Bodies
12:15 — 4 Tiny Tools to Reconnect With Body Wisdom
16:04 — Build the Muscle of Listening (Before the Signals Get Louder)

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Feeling burnt out, joyless, or stuck in the productivity loop? In this bite-sized episode, discover how to reclaim your joy—without quitting your job, escaping to Bali, or fixing everything in your life.

Welcome to Joy Thievery: the second instalment of the Summer Superfood Series, where we expose the four hidden thieves stealing your happiness—and teach you how to steal it back.

Meet the joy thieves: your productivity-obsessed brain, The Comparison Cartel operating through social media, The Guilt Gang convincing you happiness is selfish, and The Perfectionist Mob that confiscates joy unless everything's flawless.

They've convinced you that joy must be earned through perfect circumstances. But here's the truth: Joy isn't the reward for getting your life perfect—it's what makes an imperfect life worth living.

This week's superfood? Joy Reclamation—the art of stealing back what was always yours.

Learn how to reclaim joy—even when you're overwhelmed, stressed, or stuck in comparison.

🎯 What You’ll Learn in This Episode (About Joy, Comparison & the Perfection Trap)
✨ The 4 joy thieves sabotaging your happiness (and how to identify them)
✨ Why joy and stress can coexist—you don't need to fix everything to feel good
✨ The micro-joy heist technique—finding goldmines in ordinary moments
✨ Memory bank robbery—actively stealing joy from your past experiences
✨ Future joy heists—small things to anticipate that bring happiness today
✨ The gratitude heist—feeling goodness instead of just thinking it
✨ Joy vs. happiness—understanding the crucial difference

💎 Quotes That Hit Different
"Joy isn't denial—it's defiance. It's your soul saying 'Despite everything that's hard, I still choose to find beauty here.'"

"Joy is like a muscle—use it or lose it."

"Your joy isn't missing—it's just buried under should-dos, have-tos, and the exhausting belief that joy must be earned."

⏰ Chapters
00:00 — What is Joy Thievery? Why You Might Be Missing Joy (and Not Know It)

02:30 — Meet the Joy Thieves: Productivity, Comparison, Guilt & Perfectionism

06:55 — Redefining Joy: It’s Not What You Think

08:22 — The Joy Heist Toolkit: 4 Tiny Techniques to Steal It Back

12:13 — The Joy Thief Manifesto + Your One Assignment This Week

✨Your Joy Thief Assignment Become a serial joy thief this week. Steal one moment of delight daily—not for social media, just for your heart.
Share this episode with someone who needs to feel joy again. And if it landed with you—consider rating or reviewing the podcast. It helps others find these episodes too.
#MentalFitness #JoyReclamation #TinyTools #SelfLeadership #SummerSuperfoodSeries #PodcastForWomen #PersonalGrowth

Next week's superfood? Your Body's Secret Superpowers—time to start listening.

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Discover the truth about real confidence—and why everything you’ve been told is probably backwards.
Are you tired of confidence advice that sounds great on social media but crumbles the moment you need it most? What if everything you've been told about confidence is actually keeping you stuck in an exhausting performance?

Welcome to the Summer Superfood Series—where we're serving up 15 minutes of pure, unfiltered nourishment for your mind. This week's superfood? Real confidence—the messy, human, and absolutely unstoppable kind that works in your actual life.

In this powerhouse episode, I'm stripping away the confidence myths that keep us feeling like failures and revealing what genuine confidence actually looks like. Spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with being fearless, flawless, or fake.

🔥 What You’ll Learn About Real Confidence (And Why It Matters)
✨ Real confidence isn't the absence of doubt: it's making peace with uncertainty and moving forward anyway

✨ "Fake it till you make it" is confidence sabotage

✨ Belief follows action, not the other way around

✨ The confidence formula that actually works: Take action → Build evidence → Feel confident (not the reverse!)

✨ Confident people aren't confident because they never fail

✨ The Confidence shortcut: Start before you're ready

✨ Done badly is better than not done

✨ Real confidence looks like: "I don't know" without apologizing, treating mistakes as info not character flaws, & asking for help without feeling defeated

✨ Your summer confidence assignment—one thing to try this week while you're still scared

💎 Quotes That Hit Different

Real confidence is this: 'I don't know how the f*ck this will turn out, but I trust myself to handle whatever happens.

Confident people aren't confident because they never fail. They're confident because they've failed enough times to know they can survive it.

Real confidence isn't about becoming someone you're not. It's about becoming MORE OF WHO YOU ALREADY ARE—doubt, fear, imperfection, and all.

You don't need to wait until you feel ready. You just need to trust that you're capable of handling whatever comes next.

⏰ Chapters

00:00 Welcome to Summer Superfood Series: Confidence Theater vs Real Confidence
02:31 Confidence Myth #1: Confident People Never Doubt Themselves
03:49 Confidence Myth #2: Fake It Till You Make It (And Why This Sabotages You)
05:16 Confidence Myth #3: Confident People Always Know What To Say
06:47 Confidence Myth #4: You Need To Believe In Yourself First
08:06 What Real Confidence Actually Looks Like (The Game-Changer)
10:09 The Confidence Shortcut Nobody Talks About: Start Before You're Ready
12:11 Your Summer Confidence Assignment + Next Week Preview

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Are you stuck in the same painful relationship patterns? What if every repeated conflict actually starts with the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself?

In this transformative episode, I reveal how your inner world drives your external relationships & introduce the Trigger Pause Revolution—the life-changing difference between reacting & responding. You'll discover why your relationships are mirrors, how to use triggers as teachers, and the simple 20-second pause that shifts any conversation.

If you're ready to break relationship patterns that keep you stuck and develop emotional intelligence that transforms every connection—this episode is for you.

Perfect for: Anyone struggling with relationship patterns, communication breakdowns, emotional triggers, or seeking deeper connection & self-awareness in all relationships.

Key Takeaways

✨ Every relationship pattern traces back to your relationship with yourself—heal the root, transform everything else

✨ Your relationships are mirrors—what triggers you most reveals your unhealed patterns and growth opportunities

✨ The Trigger-Pause Revolution—discover the 20-second nervous system reset that changes everything

✨ PROJECTION vs REFLECTION mastery—learn to tell when you're seeing yourself in others vs. genuine relationship dynamics

✨ From reactive to responsive living—break the trigger-reaction cycle

✨ Pattern recognition skills—become aware of how your inner world shows up in every relationship

✨ Emotional flooding science—understand what happens to your brain during conflict & how to regulate

✨ Curiosity over certainty—the relationship game-changer that creates understanding instead of arguments

✨ Two Tiny Tools—the Pause Practice & Weekly Relationship Check-In for immediate transformation
Powerful Quotes

"Your relationships are mirrors."

"The pause is where your power lives. The pause is where you get to choose who you want to be."

"Get curious instead of certain. You have to be willing to give up the need to be right and replace it with the desire to be curious."

"Your triggers become teachers instead of threats."

"The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself."

"Instead of being at the mercy of other people's behavior, you become curious about what you can learn & how you can grow."

Chapters

00:00 — Why Every Relationship Pattern Starts With You

02:31 — Pattern Recognition: Your Relationships as Mirrors

05:46 — The Trigger-Pause Revolution: Where Your Power Lives

10:07 — PROJECTION vs REFLECTION: Relationship Gold

15:20 — Two Tools for Immediate Relationship Transformation

17:16 — Introducing The Summer Superfood Series

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

What if every hard relationship in your life—your partner, your friends, your colleagues, even your family—could be traced back to one relationship you tend to forget?

The one with yourself.

This week on The Lulu Essey Podcast, I’m exploring the relationship that sets the tone for every other one in your life. Because when you change your relationship with yourself, build self-trust, and develop curiosity... everything else begins to shift.

If you’ve been struggling with relationship patterns, feeling misunderstood, or caught in cycles of self-criticism and your inner critic, this episode offers a different path forward.

I also share a story from a recent workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert—and how one letter cracked open everything I thought I knew about fear, self-love, and the way we connect with others.

Key Takeaways

✨ Every frustrating relationship pattern traces back to your relationship with yourself

✨ Self-compassion starts with curiosity, not forced affection—observe yourself like a kind documentary filmmaker

✨ Fear isn't your enemy—it's a protector trying to keep you safe from perceived danger

✨ The "Letter from Fear" exercise—let fear speak to loosen its grip on you

✨ Why we're kinder to others than ourselves—and how to bridge that gap

✨ Contradictions aren't problems to solve—they're the beautiful complexity of being human

✨ Creating space between you and automatic reactions transforms relationships

✨ Curiosity over judgment always—in relationships with yourself and others

Powerful Quotes

"Every relationship you have with others is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself."

"What makes other people worthy of your love and not you?"

"What if fear isn't your enemy trying to sabotage you? What if it's actually a protector trying to keep you safe?"

"Our contradictions become interesting rather than shameful."

"Let fear speak. When you let it speak, it no longer has control over you."

"Curiosity over judgment, awareness over fixing—always."

Chapters

00:00 — The Foundation: Why Self-Relationship Matters
06:54 — Beyond Forced Self-Love: Awareness & Curiosity
13:40 — Understanding Fear as Your Protector
19:31 — The Letter from Fear Exercise (Elizabeth Gilbert Method)
25:03 — How This Transforms Your Relationships with Others
27:36 — Your Practice: Becoming Your Own Kind Witness

Tools Featured

🔧 The Kind Witness Practice — Observe yourself with curiosity, not judgment
🔧 Letter from Fear Exercise — Let fear speak to loosen its grip
🔧 Curious Self-Reflection — Notice patterns without immediately fixing them
🔧 Space Creation Technique — Pause between trigger and reaction

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Spring is here—and with it comes the perfect moment to reset your mind, refresh your energy, and clear out the mental clutter that’s been weighing you down.

This episode is a Mental Fitness refresher—a highlights reel of the most powerful tools, frameworks, and Tiny Tools I’ve shared so far on the podcast. If you’ve been listening for a while, this is your invitation to revisit what works. If you’re new here, welcome—this is the perfect place to begin.

Whether you're feeling anxious, emotionally drained, or simply ready for a fresh start, these practices are designed to meet you where you are and move you forward—one gentle, grounded step at a time.

This isn’t about overhauling your entire life. It’s about finding the tools that support your growth—from the inside out.

Key Takeaways

• The LOVE Framework – Listen to your inner voice, Own your worth, Value your journey, Embrace imperfect action
• The ENOUGH Framework – Move from “never enough” to grounded self-acceptance through daily micro-practices
• The Mental Fitness Bank – Build emotional resilience like savings—tiny deposits create compound impact
• 4 Quick-Shift Tools – Box Breathing, This Moment Only, Facts vs. Feelings, and The Kind Witness
• Your brain responds better to kindness than criticism—neuroscience proves it
• Small steps, practiced consistently, create lasting change

Powerful Quotes

“Perfect action isn’t available. Imperfect action? That is always available.”
“We cannot find peace in the world when we are at war with ourselves.”
“Every tiny promise you keep to yourself is a deposit into your Mental Fitness Bank.”
“You give yourself the magnificent opportunity to have both roots and wings.”

Chapters
00:00 – Spring Cleaning Your Mental Fitness Toolkit
02:58 – The LOVE Framework: Self-Love in Action
08:30 – The ENOUGH Framework: Reclaiming Your Worth
16:19 – The Mental Fitness Bank: Tiny Deposits, Big Change
22:13 – 4 Tiny Tools to Shift Your State (in Under 60 Seconds)
26:45 – Your Action Plan: Reset, Rewire, Rise

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!