Description:

This week on the Beer Engine, Griff and Tony stumble into another hour of beer-soaked banter, featuring everything from crispy bois to questionable adjunct choices. We dive into the ongoing lager renaissance, ask whether cold IPA is a scam, and offer unsolicited advice to macro brewers who’ll never listen.

Also on tap:

• Griff tries not to cry while reviewing another West Coast IPA made with fruit loops.
• Tony explains why pickle seltzers are a war crime.
• The boys react to Untappd reviews like they’re courtroom testimony.
• Plus: a surprise tasting of a beer that may or may not contain actual pastry.

Beer Shouts:

A few brews we cracked during the episode:

• [Brewery Name] – [Beer Name]
• [Brewery Name] – [Beer Name]
• (And something in a can that looked suspiciously like paint thinner.)

Links & Extras:

• [Patreon link if applicable]
• Follow us on Instagram: @beerenginepod
• Leave us a voicemail or send us hate mail at: beerengineshow@gmail.com
• Join the Discord: [link]

Timestamps:

00:00 – Cold Open & Beers of the Week

12:45 – Crispy Lager Talk

25:30 – Griff’s Hop Rant of the Week™

38:10 – Weird Beers & Untappd Drama

55:00 – Listener Qs & Outro

Dare I say, some of our best beer conversation and the most psychotic pizza group posts combined in a single episode ever?? Maybe, but it leads off with some of America and Australia’s favorite NBA, AFL, AF1 and Colorado politics conversation. Tony finally has some success in a game which was a real Caribou Slobber Knocker. I’m dreading leaving this room because I just know that SOMEONE is watching the show about Mormon Wives that drink 10 “Dirty Dr. Peppers” a day then go swing. It’s propaganda everyone! Don’t watch it!

In Germany the Subway bread is GOOD. Griff is back from a long break and the guys are running through the important info for beer drinkers that follow the “Great Griff Trail.” Hey, check out the slideshow on the Discord!! Kolsch, Orvals, lambics, $25 stout, it’s all covered here. It’s the beer-lovers fantasy - “yeah sure, I can have the best beers in the world for $5 but screw that! I want to pay MORE for SUGAR. Also, the real Pizza Pope has come to power and is controlling our lives. That’s good enough for today, hey, I gotta keep going to work ova heah!!!

Ahhhhhh the French champagne!!! No, I don’t have to do an Orson Welles bit, and we didn’t even talk about the guy this week, but I had been watching those outtakes from the Paul Merson wine ads. They are great, you should check them out. Today is our last show for a few weeks, so we ran the gamut of all the things our fans love - kickass lagers from the STORE, the world’s finest football, Pope-talk, and of course, reading awards that people won and making a lazy-ass game out of it. It’s yet another Beer Engine, the last for a few weeks, so get your fill, gang. Just join our Discord or follow us on Untappd if you need a quick key bump of Beer Engine over the next few weeks -it’s fun!

What is it like being in a game where you are losing 79-0, or it ends 100-12? What’s it like being in the AF1, your floundering sponsorship from the Hulkster holding you hostage, forcing you to watch your team get obliterated by a QB who completes 10 passes, 7 for touchdowns, for a robust 110 yards? Do you look at everything that led you to this moment: the tears on the HS practice field, the brutal Summer training sessions in college, the letdowns on practice squads with the NFL, the XFL, the UFL? Now you’re here on the field for the East Kansas Pork Butts and you’re losing by 100 points. Where did it go wrong? You fell into that well that one time and hit your head and discovered a bunch of 70s porno mags. Maybe that was it? It was after you’d done really bad at figuring out the Untappd ratings for a bunch of grocery store beers or something? Maybe that was the moment. But now you’re in the locker room of the Buttman Arena and no one is there to interview you after the game. A gen AI model generates some quotes that you didn’t say and slaps them into a shitty article by a fake man named Lyle Biscuit. This is America in 2025 - enjoy the Beer Engine Podcast.

What if there were a super league for the NCAA Tournament? Like, they took 8 teams that were just too good for the real thing and faced them off against each other. That would rock, and we did that today on the Beer Engine Pod.

Also, we took down the dead pope and absolutely did not make it political! I made a live bet on the Nuggets. And some of our favorites are now top 50 breweries due to attrition. Tony is stuck in the well all week?? What's he gonna do down there?!?

Greetings fellow pizza eaters and beer drinkers. Ah, mine pizza needeth 10 more minutes! Shan’t we enjoy a flagon of ale to cure our ails? Thine titular ethos are becoming quite the pedant in thine pantaloons! (Is that something?)

This week - some basketball had to be recapped as some of the basketball teams of great engines of the Beer Episode past had to be covered. The Arena Football season trudges on with an all Kansas showdown. Griff wins the pizza group by eating the world’s thinnest “pie” and “za” and Tony goes full woke mode with prosciutto. Ultimately, they reach the final showdown and most important question the podcast has ever asked - which beer is better? Toohey’s Extra Dry or Hahn Premium Special Dry Light??? We’ll never know.

Well, I'll be! That is one extremely low rated beer by the Miller Brewing Company. Congrats! Today we talked about Tony’s time at GABS, how to order food for takeout for the future and Australian triple doublers.

Griff is back on the pastry stouts and Michael's Pizza, it's like 2018 all over again on this show! Then there is this week's bracket, which features some of the saddest beers you can buy at the Dollar General.