In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Carl Draper, student mental health nurse, award-winning photographer and father to Bodhi, an autistic child with a powerful story.

Carl opens up about the early signs of autism in his son, facing expulsion from nursery on day one and the intense stress of parenting a non-verbal child with little sleep or support.

He shares how a pivotal moment with his camera led to a personal breakthrough.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

Trust Your Instincts - Parents often notice signs before professionals do. If something feels off, it’s okay to seek answers and push for support.

Environment Shapes Experience - The right setting and supportive people can help a child thrive.

Diagnosis is a Beginning, Not an End - Receiving a diagnosis can bring clarity, but also grief and uncertainty. It marks the start of a new chapter, not the end of a story.

Regulation Starts With Us - Emotional regulation in ourselves is often needed when supporting a child with complex needs. We can’t pour from an empty cup.

Creativity is Healing - Photography can offer a way to pause, reflect and process life. Creative outlets are powerful tools for emotional resilience and self-regulation

Assistance Dogs can offer deep connection, comfort, and safety to children with additional needs.

Advocacy Requires Persistence - Navigating the SEND system often involves battles, persistence and support.

CAMHS / ID CAMHS – Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, including services for children with intellectual disabilities

Von Kebles – The training center supporting Frank, Bodhi’s assistance dog

Follow Carl's journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

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[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria and Natalie dive in to the topic of anxiety in autistic children.

Drawing from their personal experiences as mums of autistic boys, they explore the many ways anxiety can present itself - from meltdowns and shutdowns to avoidance, ritualistic behaviour, physical symptoms, and anger.

They offer a compassionate look at how anxiety impacts daily life and what has helped their children feel more supported and secure.

Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.

Anxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.

Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.

Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.

Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.

Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.

Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.

Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.

Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.

Mindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.

https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/

Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.

Example resources: Twinkl Visual Timetables

Noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses

Edz Kidz Ear Defenders

Breathing exercises for children

https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids

BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris Packham

Watch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic Minds

Harry Potter Studio Tour (UK)

Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.

Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria and Natalie dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. They share personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviors.

• PDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.
• Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.
• Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.
• Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.
• It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.
• Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.

PDA Society

Dr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resources

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about ways to look after yourself when your child is having a tough day.

How supporting our children with their emotions can leave us feeling completely drained.

Common mistakes we’ve made when trying to "push through" a tough day.

Simple ways we try to carve out moments of calm: meditation, breathing space, and gentle resets.

How creating a comforting environment - with blankets, candles, soft music - can make a difference.

Allowing yourself to cancel non-essential tasks or meetings when you need breathing space.

The power of talking it out with someone who truly understands.

Finding and building a supportive community around you.

The importance of zoning out, resting, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

Gabby Bernstein’s Meditation App

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life.

We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.

These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey.

Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.

Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.

Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.

Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.

Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.

Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.

Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.

Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.

Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:

• Visual timers
• Laminated visual timetables
• Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing
• U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush
• Ear defenders
• Bach's Rescue Remedy
• Orange Essential Oil
• Tiger balm
• The Early Bird course by the National Autistic Society
• Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we’re talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families.

We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared.

An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support

You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP

Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can.

Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates.

Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help.

The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing.

SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services)

IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk

EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents)

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria opens up about her son's journey to an autism diagnosis. From the early signs that were missed, to the struggles at school, to the moment the diagnosis finally came.

Autism signs can often be masked or misunderstood, especially in young children.

Building a support network of other parents is crucial.

Professionals may miss signs too, trusting your instincts matters.

The diagnosis process can feel long and isolating, but community support makes a difference.

Receiving a diagnosis is often a moment of both relief and grief and that's OK.

The Early Birds Course (National Autistic Society)

ASDivas and Dudes Support Group

The Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis Rowe

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood

TADDS Outreach Team

Total Children's Therapy

ADOS-2 Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule

CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

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In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we dive deep into one of the most emotional milestones for parents: the journey toward an autism diagnosis. We share Natalie's story with her son, from the first signs that something was wrong at nursery to the long road of assessments and support.

Early signs aren't always obvious: It's common to realize things only in hindsight.

Not all settings impact children the same way: Different environments can highlight or mask challenges.

The path to diagnosis is often long: Waiting times can be frustrating, but support exists even before official diagnoses.

Grief is a natural part of acceptance: It's okay to mourn the loss of expectations while embracing a new, beautiful reality.

Practical support makes a difference: Courses like EarlyBirds offer real-world tools tailored for neurodivergent children.

EarlyBirds Programme by the National Autistic Society

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