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What happens when obedience becomes survival, and silence is enforced through fear of eternal damnation?

In this episode of The Angela Rose Show, I sit down with Michelle Stewart, activist, survivor, and author of JUDAS GIRL. Michelle grew up moving through a series of religious cults, including Hutterite, Bruderhof, River Brethren, Russian Orthodox, and an off-grid Amish-style commune led by a former Pathway Publishing editor. Each group claimed to hold “truth,” but used fear, shame, and religious coercion to suppress identity, voice, and thought.

🔍 We explore:

• Why Michelle used the word cult, and what actually qualifies as one
• Gender hierarchy, obedience, and early objectification in Hutterite and Bruderhof life
• The psychological toll of being called “worse than Judas” by her father at age 14
• Her struggle to reconcile faith, autonomy, and loyalty as a teenage church member
• The role purity culture played in grooming, coercion, and sexual violation
• How indoctrination prevented her from recognizing abuse, and her own worth
• The impact of untreated mental illness and betrayal within religious systems
• The life-saving power of education, language, and the right resources

Michelle’s story is one of surviving impossible choices, reclaiming power, and choosing to name the truth, even when it’s not welcome. As she says in the episode:

“You can only make choices from the mindset you know.”

📕 Her memoir JUDAS GIRL doesn’t offer a tidy ending.. It offers validation, insight, and a path toward clarity.

🛑 Trigger warning: This episode includes honest discussions of sexual abuse, spiritual manipulation, and suicide ideation. Please take care as you listen.

💬 If something in this conversation resonates with your story, comment below or message privately. You’re not alone.

📕 Get the Book

JUDAS GIRL by Michelle Stewart

Also available on Amazon and major bookseller platforms

🔗 Follow Michelle Stewart:

Instagram: @michelle_stewart_author - https://www.instagram.com/michelle_stewart_author

Facebook: @Michelle-StewartAuthor-61552318056042 - https://www.facebook.com/p/Michelle-StewartAuthor-61552318056042/

Michelle Stewart's Official Website: https://michellestewartauthor.com/

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:

Instagram: @angelarosemartin

Facebook: @angelarosemartin

TikTok: @angelaroseshow

🔖 Crisis Support Resources

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to one of the following:

• Crisis Text Line – Text TWLOHA to 741741
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call 988
• National Child Abuse Hotline – Call 800-422-4453
• National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 800-799-7233
• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – Call 800-656-4673

You are not alone. Help is available.

Send us a text

“When I began to succeed, I found out quickly who was truly for me."

In this deeply personal episode of The Angela Rose Show, I sit down once again with my soul-friend and fellow survivor, Jessica Witmer of Wild Olive Branch Coaching. We’re not just talking about healing today, we’re talking about thriving. About reclaiming agency, success, and voice after a lifetime of compliance and oppression.

Coming from Amish and Mennonite cultures where entrepreneurship was “a man’s lane,” Jess and I open up about what it really means to launch a business as a woman from a high-control religious environment. This isn’t about hustle culture. It’s about health, ownership, and self respect. It's about choosing courage over what mind control had instilled in us.

🔍 We unpack:

• The loneliness of stepping into your potential
• How gender role expectations didn't work for us and why we broke those rules
• The painful loss of relationships when we stopped struggling and started thriving
• Writing as reclamation: turning our stories into strength
• Why success as a survivor is revolutionary

If you’ve ever felt like your healing or ambition made others uncomfortable, this episode is for you.

💬 Drop a comment, share your story, or just know this: you’re not too much. You have all you need to live out your deepest passion. Dream on!

🔗 Follow Jessica Witmer:

Instagram: @wildolivebranchcoaching

Facebook: @jessicawitmer

Coaching: Wild Olive Branch Coaching

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:

Instagram: @angelarosemartin

Facebook: @angelarosemartin

TikTok: @angelaroseshow

📢 Support This Work

Please like, comment, and share to help us reach more survivors ready to step into freedom.

📍 CRISIS SUPPORT RESOURCES

Crisis Text Line – Text TWLOHA to 741741

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call 988

National Child Abuse Hotline – Call 800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 800-799-7233

RAINN – Call 800-656-4673

Send us a text

In today’s episode of The Angela Rose Show, I sit down with someone I deeply admire — Jessica Witmer of Wild Olive Branch Coaching. This is her story as a teenager, but it’s also the story of so many of us who grew up silenced, oppressed, and searching for safety in high-control religious environments.

Jessica was raised in an Amish household with 15 siblings, a strict environment, with emotional neglect and physical abuse that ran deep. She opens up about being the “outsider” in a church she would never be fully accepted into, dissociation and self-harm, and the unbearable shame that engulfed her for years. Her courage to revisit her teenage years and speak so vulnerably is nothing short of stunning.

We talked about what it’s like to wake up from survival mode and realize you’ve never been taught how to live. How even after escaping abuse, the battle isn't over—it just changes. Jessica shares what helped her begin to heal, the poem she wrote that still gives me chills, and the powerful meaning behind her “I think you should stay” hat and self harm transformation tattoo.

💬 What we dive into:

• Jessica’s experience growing up Amish and feeling like an outsider
• Self inflicted violence, and how it became a way of coping
• How she escaped her abusive home at 17
• What healing actually looked like… messy, non-linear, and painfully beautiful
• Why her scars and her story no longer carries shame

If you are struggling with your mental health, I hope this episode reminds you: there is nothing wrong with you. You were never the problem. And you are absolutely worthy of compassion and recovery. I think you should stay.

🖤 Follow Jessica:

Instagram: @wildolivebranchcoaching

Facebook: @jessicawitmer

Coaching & Support: Search Wild Olive Branch Coaching

🎙️ Follow me (Angela Rose):

Instagram: @angelarosemartin

Facebook: @angelarosemartin

TikTok: @angelaroseshow

🔔 Subscribe for more real stories from survivors who’ve turned pain into purpose.

❤️ If You Need Immediate Help

📍 CRISIS SUPPORT RESOURCES

Crisis Text Line – Text TWLOHA to 741741

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call 988

National Child Abuse Hotline – Call 800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 800-799-7233

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – Call 800-656-4673

You matter. Your story matters. And healing is possible.