As a certified advanced Shamanic Practitioner, you would think leading a live guided meditation would totally be my jam, right?

Well… as much as I struggled learning to meditate, because my mind wouldn’t slow down - I also struggled leading them… because I talked too fast!

The first time I did a live, guided, group meditation, it was with a safe group of trusted women, and I asked for real feedback. The consensus?

You talked a little (or a lot) too fast for my brain to follow 😂

LOL… oops!

A good friend on the call; who frequently found my ADHD ‘eccentricities’ amusing - laughing at how I barreled through life, taking big leaps one after the other after the other in my business (and of course some of the resulting foibles!), and in general my sonic-the-hedgehog state of being; suddenly said “You should create a meditation called ‘If you would just sit fucking still’ for ADHD women!”, and of course we all laughed soooo hard…

But, true to ADHD form, it had sparked an idea.

I decided to create a meditation album CALLED ‘If You Would Just Sit F*cking Still’. Of course, the title track was already named, but I asked the group for other ideas of meditations they might like.

It has now been almost 3 years since I began work on that album😬! There were HUGE learning curves in audio remastering and editing, rules to learn about the background music rights, and so on.

I also had to learn how to talk slow enough for others’ brains, but not REGULAR brains’ speed. ADHD ones. Turns out, I’m even a little fast for most of them 😬.

Not to mention, I didn’t create these from my creative brain… I CHANNELED THEM.

Which meant I needed:

* Quiet (single mom life made this hard)

* Clear energy (time consuming)

* Practice (more time…)

Not to mention needing seed ideas and some inspiration to begin each track. I created several versions of the album track list, adjusting it as I went. I PRE-SOLD the stupid thing, thinking how brilliant! for something I was having fun learning how to create.

But as life kept life-ing and I basically underwent a two year dark night of the soul… this project kept getting pinned for later. I released a couple of the meditations as tasters for the incredible women who pre-purchased, and kept updating everyone about how sorry I was it was taking so long.

I really stalled out when it was time to start figuring out publishing the damn thing. I couldn’t decide which platform, or if I should just punch each meditation in as a separate ‘module’ and sell it as a ‘course’ on my website.

I didn’t love that, but I started implementing it as a placeholder for the people who had bought to at least be able to access the tracks that were completed… when my website went down hard and I basically had to rebuild from scratch. I did not decide to put it in that way on the new site.

So it has sat. Among other life stuff, and with my busy, multi-passionate, mompreneur schedule, it still is not entirely complete. BUT…

Then I discovered Substack. I freaking love it here by the way!

And THEN I read a Note on here; someone expounding on how incredible it was that creators could share their work, their art, in whatever form, and keep the proceeds, instead of it going to some platform hosting company…

I instantly thought of my album.

It took me just about a week to decide, set up a separate publication just for this, and realize that as a subscription, I would need to keep adding to it, and here we are! My official ADHD decision… to create a never-ending album!

So, Jess, thank you for the spark. Thank you for the name. This track’s for you my old friend. 💓

If you want to receive a new meditation each month, make sure you sign up for the paid subscription! Most will not be available to everyone, as some people paid for the entire album in advance 💓.

If you are one of those OG’s - your lifetime subscription is on me. Thank you for believing in me, and being SO FUCKING PATIENT. I love you💓

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