Episodios

  • From Attempted Murder to Life Transformation: J Lumen's Journey from Surviving to Thriving

    From Attempted Murder to Life Transformation: J Lumen's Journey from Surviving to Thriving
    Jun 11 2025
    In this powerful episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with J Lumen, a certified Life Transformation and Empowerment Coach who knows firsthand what it means to feel completely trapped in life. J's story takes a shocking turn when what started as feeling stuck in the wrong relationship and wrong job escalated to a terrifying night that ended with her ex-boyfriend's arrest for attempted murder—her attempted murder. This life-altering experience became the catalyst for J to stop tolerating her life and start truly living it. Through her "Unknown Bucket List Approach," J teaches others how to make "micro shifts" that lead to major life transformations. This conversation dives deep into overcoming the fear of judgment, recognizing the power of "mini moments," building what J calls a "force field of resilience," and learning to live without regret. J shares practical strategies for those feeling trapped by circumstances, guilt, or doubt, showing how to break free from the cycle of tolerance and step into a life worth celebrating. J Lumen is a certified Life Transformation and Empowerment Coach who understands intimately what it means to feel trapped in the wrong life. After years of being stuck in an unfulfilling relationship where she knew she'd say no if proposed to, and a job she hated but felt financially obligated to keep, J made the difficult decision to pay for her boyfriend to move over 1000 miles away to live with his family. Two months later, he returned unexpectedly, and the night ended with his arrest for attempted murder—her attempted murder. This traumatic wake-up call became the turning point that transformed J from someone who was merely surviving to someone truly thriving. She created "The Unknown Bucket List Approach," a methodology focused on making "micro shifts" and collecting "mini moments" to create meaningful life changes. J is passionate about helping others stop tolerating their lives and start living without regret, teaching that you don't have to wait for major life upheavals to begin creating the life you want. Her philosophy centers on the belief that "if you're not dead, you're not done" and that everyone deserves to live a life they don't regret. Key Topics Discussed: From Trapped to Taking Action: Feeling stuck in the wrong relationship and wrong job, and the difficult decision to change her circumstancesThe Attempted Murder Wake-Up Call: How surviving a life-threatening situation became the catalyst for complete life transformationThe Unknown Bucket List Approach: J's methodology for identifying overlooked achievements and leveraging them for future growthMicro Shifts vs. Major Overhauls: Why small, intentional changes are more sustainable and effective than waiting for big life eventsMini Moments That Matter: Learning to recognize and celebrate small achievements that build momentum for larger goalsOvercoming Fear of Judgment: Strategies for dealing with criticism from family, friends, and colleagues when making life changesBuilding a Force Field of Resilience: Creating strong boundaries that protect your energy and maintain your progressThe Tolerance Trap: How society teaches us to "suck it up" and why this mindset keeps us stuck in unfulfilling livesLiving Without Regret: The philosophy of making decisions based on what you'll regret least, not what others expectCollecting Your Past Wins: How to look back at your life and recognize achievements you've been dismissing as insignificantThe Balance of Time: Living like life is both short and long—urgent enough to take action, patient enough to build sustainablyRedefining Success: Moving from external validation to internal satisfaction and authentic self-expressionSupporting Others vs. Self-Care: How to maintain relationships while prioritizing your own growth and boundaries Powerful Quotes from the Episode "Life happens. And it's good or bad. It's unexpected, random, unplanned... And then we have to react. And that's what shift happens." "We don't have to wait for that shift to happen before we start living the life that we don't regret." "If you're not dead, you're not done." "It's just about living a life that you don't regret because it is yours. So you should live the one you want without fear or influence." "If you are wanting to do this and also this, then you decide which one you're going to regret the least. And you do that." "You can look back at your life and you can start seeing all the things that you've done and that you've experienced and you can basically uncover the bucket list of your life that you've been living." "Most people would not even give themselves enough credit... But those are the little mini moments that I'm talking about." "Once your way of thinking has been shifted, you'll never go back." "We're taught as adults that we have to suck it up and tolerate so many things... No, so who? That's a story." "Live like life is short and live like life is long. And it's about ...
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    27 m
  • From Lost to Thriving

    From Lost to Thriving
    Jun 4 2025

    Welcome back to That’s Where I’m At! In the last two episodes, we talked about healing after narcissistic abuse, rebuilding trust in yourself, and setting boundaries. Today, we’re going even deeper as we focus on reclaiming your identity, learning to dream again, and moving from surviving to truly thriving. If you’ve been feeling stuck, wondering who you are now, or questioning if you even deserve a joyful future, this episode is for you.

    Laura breaks down three essential healing truths:
    💥 You are not meant to go back to who you were before the abuse—you are meant to move forward and make the best parts of yourself even stronger.
    💥 It's never too late to dream again—your past doesn’t define your future, and your dreams are still possible.
    💥 Thriving doesn’t mean being happy all the time; it’s about feeling free and having the ability to navigate life with resilience and self-trust.

    What You’ll Learn:
    ✨ How to reconnect with the person you are today and start rebuilding your identity
    ✨ Why it’s never too late to dream, and how to start dreaming again
    ✨ The difference between surviving and thriving, and how to take the next step toward a life that excites you

    Resources & Support:
    💫 Ready to take your healing journey deeper? Join Laura’s Midlife Reset Masterclass—a 10-week program focused on rebuilding your self-worth, setting boundaries, rediscovering your dreams, and creating a fulfilling life.
    👉 Midlife Reset Masterclass

    💜 Need support on your healing journey? Book your No More Sleepless Nights discovery call.
    👉 Free Discovery Call

    Let’s Connect:
    📸 Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcast
    🌐 Website: ThatsWhereImAtPodcast.com
    📚 Read Laura’s bestselling book: Married to a "Nice" Guy
    👉 Book Store

    If this episode resonated with you...
    Please rate, review, and share! Every listen helps another woman feel less alone on her journey. 💜

    Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    7 m
  • It's Never Too Late: Finding Your Voice with Lori Daneke

    It's Never Too Late: Finding Your Voice with Lori Daneke
    May 28 2025
    In this inspiring episode of "That's Where I'm At" podcast, host Laura welcomes Lori Daneke, a communication and relationship coach who discovered her calling later in life. Lori shares her powerful journey from being a people-pleaser trapped in a silent, emotionally abusive marriage to becoming an empowered coach helping others find their authentic selves. What started as a quest to improve her golf game led to a complete life transformation at age 58. Through candid conversation, Lori explains how 90% of our thoughts aren't our own, stemming from our imprint years (ages 0-7), and how breakthrough work can help us release the emotional baggage we've been carrying. Her story demonstrates that it's truly never too late to make changes, use your voice, and ask for what you want. Lori Daneke is a communication and relationship coach with master certifications in NLP, TLT, Hypnotherapy, Reiki Level 3, and Huna, as well as Advanced Trauma and Addiction training. With over 300 hours of training and having coached over 100 clients, she specializes in supporting women in creating the life they desire and deserve while embracing their authentic selves. Lori's journey into coaching began unexpectedly at age 58 when seeking to improve her golf game led to discovering that golf and life are direct reflections of each other. She is a proud grandmother of three (with another grandchild on the way) and finds her happy places playing with her grandchildren and going to the beach. Key Topics Discussed: The Connection Between Golf and Life: How Lori's quest to improve her golf game revealed deeper life patternsThe Four Voices in Our Head: Understanding the inner child, inner critic, inner ego, and intuition People-Pleasing Patterns: The dangers of living according to others' expectations rather than your authentic selfSilent Abuse: Recognizing emotional abuse through withholding communication and attentionThe 90% Rule: How most of our thoughts come from our imprint years (ages 0-7) rather than our true selvesBreakthrough Process: Lori's 10-step method for uncovering root causes and aligning conscious and unconscious mindsReleasing Emotional Baggage: Using the analogy of travel luggage to understand letting go of past traumaFinding Your Purpose: How it's never too late to discover your authentic calling and voice Powerful Quotes from the Episode "It'd be grateful for what you have experienced, take the learnings from it, so you can have even more gratitude and love yourself. Because truly, it's never too late to make choices and use your voice and ask for what you want." "In my marriage, I couldn't do that. I wasn't allowed. It was very transactional. And when I asked for what I needed or what I wanted, I got crickets. So that was the abuse that I tolerated. And I tolerated it is silence." "I discovered that not only that golf and life are direct reflections of each other. So what was going on in my golf game was going on in my life. I was angry, frustrated, felt like I was isolated and alone." "90% of our thoughts are not our own. They come from our imprint years or zero to seven... we learned what we learned from the people from the people that are closest to us." "I was the definition of a people pleaser. I did everything that everybody thought I was supposed to do and everybody told me what I was supposed to do." "You can't help other people unless you help yourself first... because you haven't released the blocks around what is actually holding you back from getting what you want." "Everything that happens to us, good, bad, or ugly, is there to teach us a lesson. And the lessons we learn is something positive and it's going forward." "It's never too late to discover that voice and that authentic you, your true purpose in life and what you were put on this planet to do." RESOURCES: MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREPRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.comBOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichardsRESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources FOLLOW LORI: EMAIL: hockeymomld18@rogers.comFACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/lori.danecke Loved this episode? Connect with Lori through her Facebook pages or email to learn more about her breakthrough coaching process. Don't forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify to help others find these stories of hope and healing! Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    23 m
  • Rebuilding Self-Worth, Knowing Your Values & Setting Boundaries

    Rebuilding Self-Worth, Knowing Your Values & Setting Boundaries
    May 21 2025

    In today’s episode, Laura explores the important topics of self-worth, core values, and boundaries—three crucial elements of your healing journey after leaving a toxic relationship. If you're feeling stuck or questioning why you don’t feel "better" yet, this episode is for you.

    Laura breaks down three essential healing truths:
    💥 Healing doesn’t happen overnight—leaving the relationship is only the first step.
    💥 Rebuilding your self-worth is a process that takes time and practice.
    💥 Setting boundaries is an act of self-love, and it’s essential for protecting your peace.

    Expect real talk, actionable advice, and a dose of empowerment to help you move forward.

    What You’ll Learn:
    ✨ How to begin rebuilding self-worth after emotional abuse
    ✨ Why knowing your core values is key to making empowered choices
    ✨ Why boundaries are essential—and how to start setting them

    Resources & Support:
    💫 Ready to go deeper into this work? Join Laura’s Midlife Reset Masterclass—a 10-week journey to confidence, freedom, and joy.
    👉 Midlife Reset Masterclass

    💜 Need someone to talk to? Book your free discovery call, No More Sleepless Nights, and let’s explore your healing journey.
    👉 Free Discovery Call

    Let’s Connect:
    📸 Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcast
    🌐 Website: ThatsWhereImAtPodcast.com
    📚 Read Laura’s bestselling book: Married to a "Nice" Guy
    👉 Book Store

    If this episode resonated with you...
    Please rate, review, and share! Every listen helps another woman feel less alone on her journey. 💜

    Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    9 m
  • Finding Freedom: Healing the Hurt Beneath Emotional Eating with Claudia Braun

    Finding Freedom: Healing the Hurt Beneath Emotional Eating with Claudia Braun
    May 14 2025
    In this powerful episode host Laura welcomes Claudia Braun, a holistic mindset and lifestyle coach certified in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Claudia opens up about her personal journey with emotional eating that began at age 10 when she discovered food could temporarily ease emotional pain. She shares how this coping mechanism followed her through adolescence, college, and into adulthood, creating a vicious cycle of stress eating and dieting. The conversation explores how our relationship with food often masks deeper emotional needs and how the cultural messaging around dieting affects women. Claudia offers practical insights on breaking free from emotional eating patterns by addressing the root emotional causes, embracing authenticity, and learning to own both your "yes" and your "no" instead of living to please others. Claudia Braun is a longtime Chicago resident, certified in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and works as a holistic mindset and lifestyle coach. With 30 years of yoga practice, she brings a wealth of experience to her approach to healing. Claudia has been a keynote speaker at several in-person women's events, hosted the Healing Summit, and been featured on the Holistic Monitor podcast. Drawing from her own journey of healing her relationship with food and emotional eating, Claudia now helps others break free from stress eating patterns and people-pleasing behaviors to live more authentically. She is also a dog mom to Jason, an avid gardener, and enjoys working with clay. Key Topics Discussed: Emotional Eating as a Coping Mechanism: How food becomes a "companion" to manage stress and difficult emotionsThe Vicious Cycle of Dieting: Why traditional dieting approaches often fail to address the emotional roots of eating habits People-Pleasing and Boundaries: The connection between people-pleasing, lack of boundaries, and using food for comfortEmotional Freedom Technique (EFT/Tapping): How this approach helps release trapped emotions in the subconscious mindAuthentic Living: The importance of being true to yourself rather than living based on others' expectationsOwning Your Yes and No: Practical strategies for honoring your own needs and setting boundariesHealing Through Vulnerability: The power of acknowledging and expressing difficult emotions rather than suppressing themCultural Conditioning Around Food: How societal and family messages about food and dieting affect our relationship with eating Powerful Quotes from the Episode "One of the things that I'd like to share with y'all is that I have these three strategies to own your yes and own your no. And part of that is kind of getting in touch with what do we actually feel." "I didn't know my yes. I didn't know my no. I knew other people's yes and other people's no. I was a master people pleaser." "It brings me back to that story with my boyfriend's therapist... I was saying to him, 'I don't know how to make my parents happy and my boyfriend happy at the same time.' And he looks at me and I could see that there was something about that statement I made that was really off... I'm not even in the equation." "You can't put a happy face in an empty tank." "I give people permission to say what they don't want to say." "When I work with clients, I have them write a letter to food, like say goodbye to your best friend. It is your best friend. It's been your best friend." "The only way out is through." "Can you imagine what life would be like if you were authentically you instead of constantly living life based on everyone else's judgments and expectations of you?" RESOURCES: MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREPRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.comBOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichardsRESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources FOLLOW CLAUDIA: WEBSITE: www.claudia-braun.com3 strategies to Own Your YES & Your NO (without the guilt, that’s held you back before) https://www.freebie.claudia-braun.com/ Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    38 m
  • Is He a Narcissist? Trusting Yourself & Owning Your Journey

    Is He a Narcissist? Trusting Yourself & Owning Your Journey
    May 7 2025

    In this deeply validating episode, Laura explores the questions so many women wrestle with: Was he really a narcissist? Can I trust myself again? Why am I not further along? If you’ve been stuck in cycles of self-doubt or healing shame, you’re not alone—and this episode is here to bring clarity, comfort, and real guidance.

    Laura breaks down three essential healing truths:
    💥 How to identify narcissistic behavior—without needing a diagnosis
    💥 What rebuilding self-trust looks like after emotional abuse
    💥 Why owning your current stage of healing is more than enough

    Expect myth-busting insights, gentle reminders, and hard-won wisdom that will help you take your next brave step forward.

    What You’ll Learn:
    ✨ The truth about covert narcissism and manipulation
    ✨ How to strengthen your intuition and rebuild self-trust
    ✨ Why your healing doesn’t have to look a certain way or meet a timeline
    ✨ How to embrace where you are—with zero shame

    Resources & Support:
    💫 Ready for a fresh start? Join Laura’s Midlife Reset Masterclass—a 10-week journey to confidence, freedom, and joy.
    👉 https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/midlife-reset

    💜 Need someone to talk to? Book your free discovery call (No More Sleepless Nights) and let’s see what healing looks like for you.
    👉 https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/free-gift-from-laura

    Let’s Connect:
    📸 Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcast
    🌐 Website: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
    📚 Read Laura’s bestselling book: Married to a "Nice" Guy – https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store

    If this episode resonated with you...
    Please rate, review, and share! Every listen helps another woman feel less alone on her journey. 💜

    Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    8 m
  • Finding Your Authentic Self After Narcissistic Abuse with Angie Marie

    Finding Your Authentic Self After Narcissistic Abuse with Angie Marie
    Apr 30 2025
    In this powerful episode of That's Where I'm At, Laura welcomes Angie Marie, a lifestyle and health coach who spent 20 years in a narcissistic relationship. Together, they explore the insidious nature of covert and overt narcissism, the devastating impact of gaslighting, and the complex emotions that surface when leaving these relationships. Angie shares her journey of reclaiming her authentic self after years of people-pleasing and self-abandonment, discovering that true health encompasses both physical and emotional well-being. This raw conversation offers validation, hope, and practical insights for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse. Angie Marie is a lifestyle and health coach and upcoming podcaster launching "Reauthenticated." After spending 20 years in a narcissistic marriage and working 25 years as a hairdresser, Angie is on a mission to help people reconnect with their authentic selves. Her journey began with focusing solely on nutrition and physical fitness, but evolved to include emotional healing from trauma as she recognized that self-validation had been missing from her life. Through her platform "Reauthenticated," Angie guides others to build confidence not just through nutrition and physical activity, but through healing past traumas and embracing their spiritual journey. Key Topics Discussed Different Types of Narcissism: The distinction between covert narcissists (who appear nice in public but are abusive in private) and overt narcissists (who are openly self-centered)Gaslighting and Its Effects: How narcissists use gaslighting to make victims question their reality and sanityThe Friend Betrayal: Angie's experience with her friend who became involved with her husband during their separationWhy Victims Stay: The psychological reasons people remain in abusive relationships, including survival mode and fear of life changesHealing Through Communication: Learning to express feelings and speak truth after years of silenceThe Peace After Leaving: Finding relief and healing after exiting the relationshipBuilding a New Identity: Discovering who you are outside of the narcissist's definitionPhysical vs. Emotional Health: Balancing external appearance with internal emotional well-being Powerful Quotes "But we don't get the opportunity to talk about our feelings with the narcissist because it doesn't do any good. It's not going to be valid. They're going to disregard it." - Angie Marie "I finally learned how to love myself and not seek validation in other people. You know, I don't have to look perfect. I don't have to look pretty all the time... Now instead of everything being so perfect and so polished, I get to just be me." - Angie Marie Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction and welcome04:15 - Discussion on covert vs. overt narcissism08:30 - Angie's story of betrayal during separation16:45 - The friend who pointed out narcissism22:20 - The physical and emotional impact of narcissistic abuse29:15 - Learning to speak your truth after years of silence33:45 - The influence of childhood trauma on adult relationships39:10 - Finding self-love and authentic expression46:30 - Building a healthy new relationship after abuse54:20 - Creating boundaries and healing58:40 - Information about Angie's podcast and coaching Loved this episode? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to help more people find these stories of healing. Follow Laura on social media and let her know what resonated with you. Resources RESOURCES FROM LAURA: Join Laura on the Conscious Transformation Summit May 7th @ 1:00 pm PST: https://conscioussummitevents.com/register?am_id=laura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREPRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.comBOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichardsRESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources FOLLOW ANGIE: WEBSITE: https://www.reauthenticated.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/angiemarie_reauthenticated/TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@angiemarie_2023PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/AngieMarie_Reauthenticated/ Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    58 m
  • Are You Ready to Unsubscribe from What No Longer Serves You? With Barbara Siemen

    Are You Ready to Unsubscribe from What No Longer Serves You? With Barbara Siemen
    Apr 16 2025

    Barbara Siemen is a certified life coach, yoga instructor, and writer who helps others find their path to joy and fulfilled living. After a failed business endeavor and subsequent mental illness diagnosis in 2016 caused her to go into a major slump, Barbara questioned her life’s purpose. She devoted her time to unlearning what was holding her back and undoing the pain of her childhood trauma. It took over 5 years for her to follow the breadcrumbs but with the help of coaches, therapists, self-help books, spiritual tools, and her own intuition, she is now proud to be unsubscribed from all the things she doesn’t want in life, and making room for the things she does want in life.

    In this episode of the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, Barbara, a certified life coach, yoga instructor, and writer, shares her journey of healing from childhood trauma and the process of "unsubscribing" from negative influences. She discusses a rock-bottom moment that led her to seek help and embrace her true self, emphasizing the importance of living fearlessly and authentically. Host Laura, who has overcome a relationship with a narcissist, underscores the healing power of sharing women's stories. The episode centers on personal growth, healing from trauma, and the significance of setting boundaries and living authentically.


    Timestamps:

    (00:02:11) Barbara shares her background and the extensive work she did to heal from childhood trauma.

    (00:02:38) Barbara reflects on her rock bottom experience and the years it took to understand her past.

    (00:04:03) Importance of Curiosity Laura and Barbara discuss the significance of curiosity in personal growth and healing.

    (00:07:00) Creating a False Life, Barbara reflects on the disconnect between her curated online life and her true feelings.

    (00:07:19) Blog and Its Consequences,Barbara recounts the legal issues surrounding her blog and the stress it caused her family

    (00:17:12) Mind-body connection between emotional trauma and physical health issues.

    (00:19:32) Embracing Fearlessness Again ,rediscovering her fearless side and setting boundaries in her life and how self love played a part.

    (00:21:55) Raising Strong Women. Barbara discusses her commitment to raising her daughter as a strong, independent woman, avoiding the "doormat" mentality.

    (00:30:14) Mental Load of Women Laura and Barbara discuss the hidden burdens women carry and the need for self-care amidst societal expectations.

    Quotables:

    'It's really tough to stand and stare at yourself sometimes, you know, even completely naked, and then you look at your entire body and say loving things to your body. But to look in your own eyes in a mirror and say, "I love you, I really, really love you," that's hard. Some people can't do that for a while; it takes some time.' Barbara


    "I had to be done because narcissists are always right; everything's perfect. But if you look at their real life, you can see the truth." Laura


    RESOURCES:
    MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

    PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

    FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

    BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

    RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

    FOLLOW BARBARA:

    www.barbarasiemen.com

    https://www.instagram.com/barbarasiemen

    https://www.facebook.com/barbarasiemen

    Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com.
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    46 m
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