Stop Blaming Yourself—Fix This Instead Podcast Por arte de portada

Stop Blaming Yourself—Fix This Instead

Stop Blaming Yourself—Fix This Instead

Escúchala gratis

Ver detalles del espectáculo

Acerca de esta escucha

 If you’re having relationship challenges,see if this hits close to home:You've been in therapy for months, maybe years,trying to fix relationships that keep falling into the same patterns.You understand your dynamics.You can articulate your childhood wounds and attachment styles.You know exactly why your relationship struggles keep repeating.But you're still stuck.Still triggered by the same things.Still repeating the same cycles.Still feeling like you're at the mercy of your circumstances.You keep showing up,hoping this will be the session that finally changes everything.But week after week,you leave feeling like you've just paid someone $200to listen to you complain about the same problems.This is the classic therapy vs change dilemma -lots of talking, minimal transformation.For folks who crush it in other areas of life,this creates a particular kind of torture.For people used to solving problems.setting goals, creating strategies, and executing,It works everywhere else.But in the realm of relationshipsthey notice feeling completely helpless.If you can relate, you know it’s likeyou're waiting for someone else to rescue youfrom your own life.Here's what nobody toldmy surgeon client why he was still stuck:In the realm of personal growth and healing…You haven’t identified what"this is working" actually means.Most people approach personal growthlike they're wandering around a foreign city without a destination.They're just... walking.Hoping they'll randomly stumble into a secure relationshipor emotional resilience where they never get triggered,and don’t feel the normal resistance of life.The tension between wanting autonomy,and desiring deep connection.It’s a complicated dance that is ever evolving.It’s heavily nuanced.Therapists ask, "How are you feeling?"You answer, "Better, I guess?"They nod knowingly, and you book another session.But what wtf are you actually working toward?What does success look like in your relationships?In your emotional life?In your daily experience?How are you responding to triggers?How are you navigating conflict?Most people have no clue.They just know they're not happyand they want someone else to figure it out for them.This is why you can spend years in therapytalking about the same issues without any real change.You're not working toward anything specific.You're just... processing.And processing without direction is just expensive complaining.How about you try this on as a new lensto view your issue:You're externally governed.Meaning your emotional state,your sense of worth,your daily experience depends entirelyon what's happening around you.Your partner's in a good mood–You feel good.Your boss gives you praise– You feel valuable.Your friends don't text back quickly– You feel rejected.You're like a pinball, bouncing off whatever energy is around you,with no control over where you end up.One client described her experience as “I feel like a jellyfish”. This victim mentality is exhausting -and it's exactly the opposite of the sovereignty you needto create lasting change.For successful people,this is maddening because it makes no logical sense.You can manage teams,negotiate complex deals,and make high-level decisions.But your emotional well-being is controlledby whether someone texted you back in time.(Not exactly the energy of a high performer.)Here's where it gets even more frustrating:You keep looking for external solutions to an internal problem.The right therapist.The right book.The right partner who will finally understand you.You're essentially waiting for someone elseto come rescue you from your own emotional patterns.But nobody's coming.And it’s not because people don't care.It’s not because help isn't available.It’s more nuanced than that.It’s because the nature of the problemrequires you to stop blaming yourself for past conditioningand start taking responsibility for your future transformation.And most folks have never learned how to do that.Consider the possibility that you've been conditioned to believethat healing happens to you, not through you.You sit in a chair, talk about your feelings,and hope the therapist has some magic insightthat will finally set you free.But insight alone is not how real transformation works.Real transformation happens when you developwhat I call the four pillars of sovereign love:Sovereignty: You're no longer externally governed.Your emotional state comes from within,not from your circumstances.Agency: You have choice.You're not a victim of your patterns,your past, or your partner's moods.Capacity: You can sit with uncomfortable emotions -yours and others' - without losing touch with yourself.This is true emotional resilience.Resilience: You can handle whatever life throws at youbecause you trust your ability to feel your way through it,without having to suppress, distract, or sedate.These aren't therapy concepts.These are life skills.And here's the thing:you get to define what "it’s working for me" ...
Todavía no hay opiniones