Meet Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. He's also the author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betrayal, which is a one of a kind book geared towards betrayed men, hoping to find new life after their partner's infidelity.

His methodology is deeply influenced by his intimate grasp of the trials faced by men confronting a partner’s infidelity. Leveraging his extensive clinical background and personal insights of being a betrayal partner himself, Adam creates a supportive and understanding environment, where clients are led through their journey of healing with compassion and wisdom.

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Holding a degree from Pacifica Graduate Institute with a focus on Marriage and Family Therapy, Professional Clinical Counseling, and Depth Psychology, Adam has committed his career to addressing critical issues such as betrayal, infidelity, sex addiction, and the myriad life challenges that accompany them. With Adam, the journey is not just about recovery; it’s about embarking on a path of profound personal growth and rediscovery.

You can find more about Adam here: https://www.betrayalshrink.com/

See you next time,

Sam

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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

Today you'll meet a friend of mine, Kevin who shares his own journey with infidelity as a betrayed male and Autism.

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives the world and interacts with others. It’s called a “spectrum” because it includes a wide range of characteristics and levels of support needs, from mild to significant.

Key Features of Autism:

• Social communication difficulties: Challenges with understanding and using verbal and nonverbal language, such as tone of voice, facial expressions, or gestures.
• Repetitive behaviors and routines: Repeating movements (like hand-flapping), phrases, or having strict routines and resistance to change.
• Intense interests: Deep focus on specific topics or activities, sometimes to the exclusion of others.
• Sensory sensitivities: Over- or under-sensitivity to lights, sounds, textures, smells, or pain.

Other Points:

• Autism is not a disease and doesn't need to be "cured" — it's a difference in brain wiring.
• It can be diagnosed in early childhood, but some people aren’t diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood.
• Some autistic individuals need significant daily support, while others live independently and may even see their autism as a key part of their identity.
• Autism can affect how a person processes and heals from infidelity in several unique ways, largely because of differences in emotional regulation, communication, trust, and social cognition. Here’s how it might impact the healing process:

1. Difficulty with Emotional Processing
Autistic individuals may experience emotions very deeply but struggle to express or interpret them — both in themselves and others. This can make processing betrayal more overwhelming or confusing:

They might ruminate on the event more intensely or for longer.

Emotional pain might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, or withdrawal rather than verbal expression.

2. Struggles with Change and Uncertainty
Infidelity introduces chaos and unpredictability into a relationship, which can be especially difficult for someone on the spectrum:

Many autistic people rely on routine, predictability, and structure to feel safe. The loss of emotional security can feel destabilizing.

Rebuilding trust may be slower, as they may not "move on" in the same way neurotypical people might.

3. Literal Thinking and Trust
Autistic people often think in black-and-white terms, which can make infidelity feel like an irreparable breach:

Trust, once broken, might not feel recoverable.

Concepts like "emotional cheating" or gray areas in relationships can be especially confusing or hurtful.

4. Communication Challenges
Discussing feelings, negotiating boundaries, and engaging in therapy can be more complex:

The autistic partner might have difficulty articulating what they need to feel safe again.

Or they may struggle to understand or validate their partner’s perspective if it's not clearly communicated.

5. Social Naivety or Misreading Cues
Some autistic individuals may be more socially naive or miss subtle signs of trouble in a relationship, so discovering infidelity can come as a greater shock.

Today John Lee joins me to discuss how enmeshment shows up in the life of the unfaithful partner as they wrestle to find freedom from shame and emotional immaturity. You'll find John's humor and straight forward nature to not only be a breath of fresh air, but validating for the betrayed partner and liberating for the unfaithful. We roam free today discussing how safety is an inside job for both partners, while also helping to pinpoint areas the unfaithful can show themselves strong for both their own healing as well as their partner's. While the concept of regression is a cornerstone in healing from infidelity and addiction, John also shares pinpoint insight into how to break free from both destructive and paralyzing patterns that sabotage the entire recovery process.

John Lee, best-selling author of The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man, has written twenty-five books, including his latest release, Odd One Out: Radical Revelations on Relationships, Self-Help, and Personal Growth.

John’s highly innovative work in the fields of emotional intelligence, anger management and emotional regression has made him an in-demand consultant, teacher, trainer, coach and speaker. His contributions in the fields of recovery, relationships, men’s issues, spirituality, parenting and creativity have put him in the national spotlight for over twenty years.

He has been featured on Oprah, 20/20, Barbara Walter’s, The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR. He has been interviewed by Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and dozens of other national and international magazines and radio talk shows.

John Lee has consulted and trained prestigious institutions in the clinical environment including The Betty Ford Clinic, Guy’s Hospital (London, England), The New York Open Center, The Hanley Center (West Palm Beach, FL), South Pacific Hospital (Sydney, Australia), and Mountain Area Health and Education Center (North Carolina), and numerous others.

John’s work in recovery, codependency, and adult children has positioned him as a leader in the field of addiction.

His unique approach to anger management has not only been embraced by the therapeutic community, but by the corporate sector and the general public. His non-traditional approach has been taught worldwide with great success. His Austin and Mentone Intensives have attracted highly-motivated clients who want more one-on-one time than the usual fifty-minute hour can provide.

John’s work with men’s issues has positioned him as one of the leaders and early pioneers of the men’s movement. His Mentone, Alabama Men’s Conference (co-hosted with Robert Bly) ran for 16 years and drew participants from around the world.

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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

Enmeshment is a term from psychology that describes a relationship dynamic where personal boundaries are overly blurred, and people become emotionally over-involved with each other. It often happens in families or close relationships, where one person's emotions, needs, or identity are heavily entangled with another's, to the point that individual autonomy is lost.

For example, a parent might rely on their child for emotional support inappropriately, or feel threatened when the child seeks independence. It can feel like you're not allowed to have your own thoughts, feelings, or choices without it affecting—or being controlled by—someone else.

Enmeshment makes it hard for a betrayed spouse to understand their partner’s infidelity because their emotional world is so intertwined with their partner’s that the betrayal doesn’t just hurt—it shatters their sense of reality.

Today you'll hear from Amanda Asproni, an expert in both affair recovery and enmeshment who has not only lived through this enmeshment but has also found freedom and healing from both enmeshment and betrayal trauma.

Here’s why it’s so hard to heal from betrayal trauma when enmeshment has further complicated the healing process:

No “separate self” to fall back on: In an enmeshed relationship, the betrayed spouse may not have a strong sense of individual identity outside the relationship. So when their partner cheats, it feels like their own identity is being torn apart. It’s not just "You hurt me", it’s "Who even am I if you did this?"

Extreme cognitive dissonance: In enmeshed dynamics, the relationship is often idealized. So the idea that the partner could cheat feels impossible to reconcile—it doesn’t fit the internal narrative. Instead of thinking, "You made a choice I don’t understand," the betrayed spouse might think, "I must have missed something huge, or this is somehow my fault."

Over-identification with the other: They may focus more on why their partner cheated (looking to fix or understand them), instead of processing their own hurt. There’s often a compulsion to keep the relationship intact—even if it means bypassing their own emotions or truth.

Emotional fusion blocks objectivity: When feelings are so closely linked, it’s hard to step back and evaluate the situation clearly. The betrayed spouse may feel their partner’s pain more than their own, or become obsessed with “making sense of it” to ease the chaos inside.

At its core, enmeshment turns betrayal into an identity crisis rather than just a relational rupture—which makes understanding the infidelity way more painful and confusing.

While entanglement can be overwhelming, there is way out and there is a pathway to healing for you and your own journey.

Keep Going,
Sam

To contact Amanda Asproni please email her at amanda@healingaffairscounseling.com
To contact Sam please email him at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com

How do you reclaim your worth when your reflection is distorted by someone else's betrayal—when every glance in the mirror whispers, 'they chose them over me".... or "they gave them what they wouldn't give me?"

The cruelest part of infidelity isn’t just the betrayal—it’s the quiet, relentless comparison that follows. Today you'll hear from frequent guest Max and how he was able to break free from what felt like insurmountable comparisons with multiple affair partners.

When you're betrayed, it often times feels like being erased while still standing right there. Like someone took everything you were proud of—your love, your body, your quirks, your memories—and put them on a scale against a stranger you never invited into your story.

Being compared to an affair partner can feel like:

A. Losing a silent competition you never knew you were in. Suddenly, you're questioning your looks, your personality, your value. You start noticing flaws you never saw before, because you're measuring yourself against someone who shouldn’t even be in the picture. You begin to question everything in life and in your relationship.

B. Betrayal layered with shame. It’s not just that they chose someone else—it’s the gut-punch that maybe they thought that other person was more exciting, more desirable and more of a fit for them. Somehow, that shame sticks to you, even though you're not the one who cheated.

C. Being trapped in your own mind. Even if no one says it out loud, you hear the comparisons anyway. You imagine what they had that you didn’t. You replay moments in your head, trying to figure out why they were willing to risk so much, for so little.

D. A deep hit to your identity. It makes you doubt who you are. What you offered. Whether anything you shared was ever truly seen, let alone appreciated.

It’s grief mixed with self-doubt, anger tangled up with sorrow. And worst of all, it’s incredibly isolating—because even when you're surrounded by people, it can still feel like you're alone in a room full of questions.

Despite the agony of it all, there is a way through and there is healing available for you. It's vital to remember you are not alone and you are not the only one. It doesn't mean it won't feel like it and it doesn't mean you won't question what feels like everything and maybe even everyone at times. Perhaps today you'll find there is light at the end of the tunnel and there are survivors to this agonizing pain who return from the shadows with a torch in their hand, ready to share their heroic journey of survival and resilience.

To Healing,

Sam

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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it’ll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess?

That’s not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game.

Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciously. They seem harmless on the surface, but they end with someone feeling hurt, guilty, or angry — just like before.

These games follow a pattern:

A hidden motive or unspoken message
A predictable sequence of interactions
A negative payoff (emotional discomfort or conflict)

They’re not about fun — more like emotional traps that we fall into, often learned in childhood, resulting in confusion, hurt feelings and deep seated resentment.

Transactional Analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne, is a theory of communication and personality. In TA, our interactions are seen as “transactions” between different parts of ourselves:

👶 Child (emotions, creativity, needs, or rebellion)

👨‍👩‍👧 Parent (rules, judgments, values — often inherited from authority figures)

🧑 Adult (rational, in-the-moment decision-making)

When people interact, they’re often unconsciously switching between these ego states. Games happen when there’s a mismatch or hidden motive behind a transaction — for example, someone may act like they want help (Adult to Adult), but are actually seeking to feel victimized (Child to Parent).

Today Michael Webb shares how couples subconsciously participate in these games, especially those dealing with infidelity or addiction.

What do you do when you don't have control over your spouse's behavior? What do you do when they won't forgive you, if you're an unfaithful? What do you do when your unfaithful won't do recovery work or won't go all in when you're a betrayed?

What do you do when you or your partner associate pain with vulnerability or intimacy due to childhood or developmental trauma?

We call this feeling powerlessness and quite honestly, most of us hate it and run from it. If we don't run from it, we try and rally against it, usually causing ourselves and most people around us, more harm.

Powerlessness is the feeling of being unable to influence, control, or change something or someone in your life, often leaving you feeling helpless, hopeless or stuck. It's a state where you feel like your actions, decisions, or desires have little or no effect on the outcomes you face, or on the environment around you, including whether or not your spouse will do repair work after infidelity. This feeling can arise from external circumstances (like an oppressive situation or a lack of resources) or internal struggles (like feeling overwhelmed by paralyzing anxiety, emotions or mental health challenges).

When dealing with any form of trauma, especially betrayal trauma, both spouses can feel as though the journey is hopeless and without any real tangible reason to keep going. However, today Michael Webb shares palatable and life changing hope for those who feel as though they are helpless to bring about any change in either their own life or their partner's.

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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

Today Max and I discuss a poignant moment in his own compelling journey where he admits "I didn't want to believe this was happening to me." As you'll hear in today's raw and personal discussion, infidelity and denial are deeply intertwined issues that can have a profound impact on the betrayed spouse. Whether male or female, infidelity strikes at the core of our being, creating a staggering feeling of powerlessness. When powerlessness then seeps into helpless and hopelessness, the end result is often times rage.

Max is no different that countless betrayed partners who have struggled to accept the devastation inflicted upon them by their unfaithful partner and their reckless choices. However, it's a common fact that many betrayed men struggle to embrace that this awful agony has visited their lives and their families. Yes, denial is part of the grieving process, however it's often times a coping mechanism to push away the enormity of the situation. We as men feel dazed, confused and humiliated, ashamed to share our story.

With the same courage and passion of previous episodes, Max dives deep into his own psyche as he retells the story of finding out more and more information, leading him to ultimately and regrettably, end the marriage. The sad reality is not every marriage makes it and not every unfaithful partner takes ownership of their choices. Many do, but many do not.

Equally true is the fact that not every betrayed partner chooses to carry on, courageously and relentlessly into new life. Many remain stuck, paralyzed by the agony of their lives and the brokenness of their hopes and dreams. Rest assured, as you hear Max share his own story of survival, you too can have a story of not only surviving but overcoming. I hope you find solace today in the fact that whether betrayed or unfaithful, male or female, you are not alone in this journey.

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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.