You don’t have to suffer to prove you’ve changed.

This week’s SHIFT Rx tackles the emotional toll of self-punishment—and why withholding forgiveness doesn’t make you strong, it just keeps you stuck. We’re flipping the script on what it really means to move forward after a mistake, especially if you’ve been conditioned to believe that grace has to be earned through shame, regret, and emotional isolation.

Inside this short but seismic episode, we break down:

• Why you delay forgiving yourself (and how that’s not your fault)
• How nervous system regulation rewires shame-based behavior
• The physiological power of self-compassion (hello, heart rate variability)
• Practical ways to extend grace without losing accountability
• A fire SHIFT Framework to move from penance to personal power

If you’ve ever felt like you needed to bleed before you could heal, this one’s for you.

🧠 This isn’t therapy. This is neurological repair.

🎧 In this episode:

• 00:34 – Why we equate accountability with punishment
• 01:27 – The inner critic vs. the inner caregiver
• 02:40 – How to stop ruminating and start repairing
• 05:14 – What real self-forgiveness requires
• 07:02 – Stats: What shame does to our brain and body
• 08:33 – Heart rate variability and emotional regulation
• 10:42 – The truth: Grace isn’t optional—it’s your body’s medicine
• 12:02 – SHIFT Framework for radical self-forgiveness

💊 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with curiosity, compassion, and the knowing that you've already suffered enough. You get to put it down now.

⚡ Ready to shift? Join the Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth:

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

You aren’t broken. You’re on autopilot.

Up to 97% of your day is driven by subconscious patterns. And guess what? Those patterns didn’t start with you—but they’re absolutely affecting how you parent, how you speak to yourself, and how you show up under pressure.

In this episode, we’re naming what’s actually behind your spirals, shutdowns, and snap moments—and why it’s not a lack of love, but a brain that’s been running the same script since you were seven.

💥 The good news? That script is editable.

This is your crash course in mental reprogramming, emotional patterning, and how to consciously take back control of your reactions—using the SHIFT framework.

🔍 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why up to 97% of your behavior is unconscious—and how to shift that
• What it really means to be on autopilot
• How to spot the inner voice that’s not yours (but still runs the show)
• The science behind your thought loops, self-talk, and stress spirals
• How to talk back to your programming and rewrite your response
• How to use the SHIFT framework to rewire your day-to-day
• The role of confirmation bias in keeping you stuck
• Why it’s not your fault—but still your responsibility

💭 SHIFT Rx (Tuesday) → “We only deserve grace when we’ve suffered enough”: busting that lie wide open.

🎙️ Guest Interview (Thursday) → Therapist Leslie Lindsey Davis joins us for a powerful conversation on identity, reparenting, and emotional leadership.

🚨 Want to stop parenting from old code?

Join the Parental SHIFT and learn how to stop reacting from your past—and start leading from your actual self.

Take Action:

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

In this episode, we’re talking SHIFT with Bev Mitelman, M.A., a therapist who doesn’t just teach attachment theory—she lived it, rewired it, and now helps others do the same.

Together, we crack open how our earliest emotional environments shape the way we love, fight, flinch, chase, ghost, people-please, overfunction, or run like hell. We’re talking deep nervous system programming that runs 97% of our choices—and how to finally bring that shit into conscious awareness.

This isn’t about labels. It’s about liberation.

We go all in: anxious partners, avoidant ghosts, Disney princess myths, dopamine addiction, core wounds, subconscious survival scripts—and the long-haul work of healing your operating system without burning your life down in the process.

If you've ever wondered:

• Why you're the one always chasing
• Why healthy feels boring
• Why conflict shuts you down or fires you up
• Or whether you’ve already screwed up your kid's attachment...

This one’s for you. And no—you're not too far gone.

You’ll hear:

00:00 Meet Bev: Therapist, speaker, and secure AF

06:00 WTF is attachment, really?

10:45 Autopilot vs. updated operating systems

14:30 You don’t “fix” it once—you practice it forever

20:00 What anxious attachment actually looks like

28:00 Secure parenting isn’t perfection—it’s predictability

34:40 Why so many “butterflies” are actually red flags

46:10 Addicted to chaos: how drama mimics dopamine

54:00 What healing in partnership really sounds like

01:03:00 The anxious-avoidant trap (and how to break it)

01:15:00 What disorganized attachment really feels like

01:25:00 Undoing the guilt: “Did I ruin my kid?”

This episode is full of truth, tools, and total permission to rewrite your story. Whether you’re untangling your marriage, making peace with your past, or just figuring out how the hell to not pass it on—hit play.

🎧 Listen. Save. Share with the parent, partner, or person who needs to hear they are not broken—just beautifully unfinished.

⚡ Ready to shift? Join my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Learn More About Bev Mitelman & Securely Loved

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.