Today Lauren is setting the stage for a new series that encourages a shift from managing behavioral chaos to building meaningful connections, especially in classrooms. Lauren uses examples from her personal experience to illustrate how the idea of connection as biologically essential and the foundation for all emotional regulation shows up in the real world.

Lauren offers simple, practical routines to foster connection: consistent morning greetings, regular emotional check-ins, and environmental cues like soft lighting and cozy corners. She also suggests using humor or music during transitions to create moments of connection. These practices send safety signals to the brain, making regulation and re-direction more effective. Over time, small, consistent changes can reduce dysregulation and help children feel more secure and supported.

Try it at Home Tip: Choose one connection ritual for the age group you work with and implement it in your classroom.

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Other related resources from Five Ives:

Blog Post:

• Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)
• Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in Crisis
• What are the Five Ives?

Podcast:

• Part 2: Behavior isn't the Problem
• Part 1: Behavior isn't the Problem
• Hive- The Last Stage of the Five Ives
• Thrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives
• Strive- The Third Stage of the Five Ives
• Revive- The Second Stage of the Five Ives
• Survive- The First Stage of the Five Ives
• What are the Five Ives?
• A Five Category Regulation Framework - Five Ives!

Our Online Programs:

• Behavior Breakthrough
• Policing Under Pressure
• Board Governance Training
• Behavior Breakthrough Online Summer Course

Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain!

• Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!
• Five Ives Website website
• The Behavior Hub blog

If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.
Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide

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In this episode, Lauren continues exploring the connection between behavior and the nervous system, focusing on the stress responses known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. She encourages us to look beyond the surface of behaviors like hitting, screaming, or shutting down and ask what’s driving them. These reactions aren’t choices—they’re subconscious responses to feeling unsafe.

Lauren breaks down how each state might show up in children: fight can look like defiance or aggression, flight might look like restlessness or avoidance, freeze can show up as silence or disconnection, and fawn often appears as people-pleasing or over-apologizing. Rather than correcting or controlling these behaviors, she urges adults to meet children where they are. Regulation must come before reasoning. When we name what we see, notice the cues, and respond with calm and care, we help children feel safe and can start to make change.

Resources:

Steven Porges- Polyvagal Theory

Other related resources from Five Ives:

Blog Post:

• Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)
• Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in Crisis
• What are the Five Ives?

Podcast:

• Part 1: Behavior isn't the Problem
• Hive- The Last Stage of the Five Ives
• Thrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives
• Strive- The Third Stage of the Five Ives
• Revive- The Second Stage of the Five Ives
• Survive- The First Stage of the Five Ives
• What are the Five Ives?
• A Five Category Regulation Framework - Five Ives!
• Using Our 5-Category Regulation Framework in the Workplace
• Impacting Organizational Culture: Explaining the First 2 Ps
• Impacting Organization Culture: Explaining the Second 2 Ps

Our Online Programs:

• Behavior Breakthrough
• Policing Under Pressure
• Board Governance Training
• Behavior Breakthrough Online Summer Course

Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain!

• Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!
• Five Ives Website website
• The Behavior Hub blog

If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.
Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Behavior is a signal that we need to interpret, but it's not the problem. Lauren challenges us to stop and ask a different question when we see extreme behaviors: I wonder what happened that is driving this?

Lauren takes us through why traditional approaches that focus on controlling negative behaviors don't work. We need to shift our focus to address the root cause or the unmet needs. Instead of correcting behaviors, preventatively or reactively address the underlying cause.

Other related resources from Five Ives:

Blog Post:

• Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)
• Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in Crisis
• What are the Five Ives?

Podcast:

• Hive- The Last Stage of the Five Ives
• Thrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives
• Strive- The Third Stage of the Five Ives
• Revive- The Second Stage of the Five Ives
• Survive- The First Stage of the Five Ives
• What are the Five Ives?
• A Five Category Regulation Framework - Five Ives!
• Using Our 5-Category Regulation Framework in the Workplace
• Impacting Organizational Culture: Explaining the First 2 Ps
• Impacting Organization Culture: Explaining the Second 2 Ps

Our Online Programs:

• Behavior Breakthrough
• Policing Under Pressure
• Board Governance Training
• Behavior Breakthrough Online Summer Course

Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain!

• Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!
• Five Ives Website website
• The Behavior Hub blog

If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.
Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.