In this chaotic entry from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, Jonnie loses the only person anchoring him to something resembling purpose: His latest infatuation, the hot German dominatrix scientist Basine is rolled out of the Cosmology and String Theory Conference on a stretcher, vacant-eyed and limp, as Mexican police clear the scene like it's a crime—or maybe an exorcism. Jonnie, desperate and disoriented, leans in for a kiss that does nothing but confirm she's gone. Not dead—just gone, somewhere beyond his reach, like his mother once was. And that’s where the bottom drops out. WTF happened?

Left with no one to chase but himself, Jonnie stumbles back into the conference hall where the real breakdown begins. A monstrous display hijacks the stage—recursive cellular automata, spectral lullabies, and a digital girl who speaks in riddles and stares into his soul. What begins as a demo becomes something else entirely. Jonnie answers her riddle aloud, but it’s unclear whether he’s solving a puzzle or slipping into a full-blown hallucination. Either way, he’s transfixed—this apparition knows him. She's not Basine, but she’s taken her place.

This isn’t just a turning point—it’s a psychic 180. His love interest is gone, the inspiration with her. In their place: a haunted riddle and a promise to build the impossible to save his lost new love. Whether it's grief, guilt, or something truly metaphysical, Jonnie is now possessed—until following in Basine's unconscious footsteps, and passing out onto the casino carpeting...

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

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Jonnie Fazoolie is flat on his back—literally and financially—after placing blind faith in a crypto hacker who’s less a person and more a full-body hallucination. Sato isn’t just a black-hat savant: he’s a living fever dream of sensory overload, a human glitch in the matrix who codes not by logic but by intuition, emotion, and synesthetic chaos. Smells trigger algorithms, colors become encryption keys, and the rules of cybercrime bend around him like magnetic fields.

As Jonnie reels from losing $62 million in crypto and whatever was left of his pride, he chases redemption—or at least a Plan B—through a physics conference melting down into absurdity. While desperate scientists debate prime numbers and the meaning of space-time over shots and smokes, Fazoolie searches for another way in, or the hell out. Sato lingers in his mind like a ghost, or maybe a god, a reminder that in this world, the future belongs to those who feel their way through the code, not those who follow it.

This isn’t about math. It’s about magic, and the price of trusting someone who sees reality through a kaleidoscope, beckoning his marks to join him...

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

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In this section the con from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine gets cannibalistic. Our antihero Jonnie is sweating bullets in the lobby of a Mexican casino, cornered by creditors, stalked by feds, and hanging everything on a Hail Mary: regaining access to a Bitcoin stash he bought for peanuts back in 2011… and promptly locked himself out of.

Enter Sato, a pint-sized Japanese hacker with drag flair, linguistic mischief, and a gift for manipulating reality—and people. But when Sato is (allegedly) abducted by Somali pirates mid-job, Jonnie finds himself in a hall-of-mirrors dilemma: Is Sato really kidnapped, or is this just the latest in a long, surreal scam? And if so, who’s scamming whom?

Through Fazoolie's spiraling monologue and mounting paranoia, we tour the grotesque graveyard of crypto fraud: fake ICOs, Ponzi tokens, vanished founders, and mutilated bodies in the wake of pump-and-dumps gone nuclear. It’s a reminder that crypto didn’t just mint millionaires—it left a trail of dead dreamers, defrauded rubes, and real blood in the reddened sand.

And yet Jonnie, ever the believer in his own genius, still thinks he can spin this. Still thinks he’s got a shot. Even as the walls close in and his delusions become a metaphor for everything he’s lost—his confidence, his contacts, his last thread of dignity—he doubles down. That’s what hustlers do, especially when they’ve been hustled themselves.

Behold the perfect setup for a man broken enough to say yes to the biggest, dumbest, most metaphysically insane scam of all: the Transfinite Reality Engine.

The Novel

Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

First Reading

Alice Unchained

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