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A sleepless night in Washington DC with an aching back became the catalyst for a profound realization: everything we believe about aging might be wrong. As I lay there wrestling with physical discomfort and society's negative scripts about getting older, I experienced a moment of clarity that would transform not just my own perspective, but potentially our collective understanding of adult development.

From this awakening emerged the concept of Latalescence – a revolutionary framework that reimagines the adult life journey as an ongoing process of growth rather than inevitable decline. Built upon three interconnected principles – Lateral movement, Coalescence, and continuous adult development – this new paradigm challenges us to see aging not as a problem to solve but as an opportunity for unprecedented growth and contribution.

We stand at the threshold of what I call the Great Age Revolution. With lifespans extending dramatically, adding what amounts to an entire second adulthood to the human life cycle, traditional models of retirement and productivity are becoming obsolete. By 2030, more people will be over 60 than under 10 worldwide, yet we lack sophisticated frameworks for understanding this extended period of vital adulthood.

At the heart of Latalescence lies the practice of self-authorship – the conscious decision to become the primary creator of your own life story. Many of us discover in midlife that our deepest aspirations and fears aren't fully our own but inherited narratives from parents, teachers, and society. Early Latalescence begins with this awakening and the courage to align our lives more authentically with our values and wisdom.

This developmental journey also embraces body-based wisdom, integrating our biological responses, emotional landscape, and cognitive understanding into a cohesive whole. Through this integration, we can create meaningful happiness – not by avoiding life's challenges, but by thoughtfully and courageously engaging with them.

Whether you're questioning traditional narratives about aging or seeking new ways to contribute your wisdom, Latalescence offers both practical guidance and an inspiring vision for life's second act. Join me in this exploration of what becomes possible when we break free from outdated stories and embrace the full potential of our continued development.

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Beneath the words we exchange in relationships lies a hidden language—a rhythmic dance between nervous systems that shapes our connections more powerfully than what we say. This episode ventures into the fascinating world of Dynamic Vitality Affects (DVAs), the subtle patterns of timing, pacing, and movement that determine whether we feel safe, connected, or understood with our partners.

Have you ever felt instantly disconnected from someone without knowing why? Noticed that certain silences feel heavier than others? Experienced the confusion when a simple text lands wrong? These moments aren't just miscommunication—they're rhythm mismatches between two bodies trying to connect.

Drawing from polyvagal theory and affect relational theory, I unveil seven distinct DVA patterns that emerge in the first two years of relationships: the gentle approach of "glide" like a sea turtle moving with intention; the vulnerable uncertainty of "hover" resembling a deer at the edge of a clearing; the emotional urgency of "burst" like a border collie needing engagement; the protective withdrawal of "collapse" mirroring a sloth's conservation; the persistent "loop" of a hummingbird testing approaches; the camouflaged "override" of an octopus hiding true feelings; and the harmonious "sync" of dolphins moving in perfect resonance.

Most early relationship conflicts aren't about compatibility but about crossed rhythms—one person surges while another freezes, one collapses while another hovers. Learning to read these patterns transforms arguments from content battles ("you always/never...") to rhythm adjustments ("I think I collapsed because my glide wasn't met").

Whether you're navigating a new relationship or seeking deeper connection in an established one, understanding DVAs offers a powerful lens for seeing beyond words to the embodied conversation happening between two nervous systems. When we learn to move in rhythm together, we don't just communicate better—we create the profound experience of emotional home.

Subscribe to Meaningful Happiness for weekly conversations that change you, and join me in exploring the science of connection and the art of becoming.

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What if the key to understanding your emotions lies in sensations you felt before you even had words? Long before we develop language, our bodies speak through "affects" – primal, biological signals that form the foundation of our emotional lives.

Imagine a world where you can recognize these signals in yourself and others, where you understand that anger isn't just "anger" but a complex symphony of sensation, memory, and meaning. This understanding transforms how you relate to yourself and connect with others on a profound level.

Affect theory reveals that we experience just nine innate affects: two positive (interest/excitement and enjoyment/joy), one neutral (surprise/startle), and six negative (fear/terror, anger/rage, distress/anguish, disgust, and shame/humiliation). These combine like musical notes to create our rich emotional landscape. While infants experience these directly, adults often lose touch with this primal language, layering it with memory, cultural interpretation, and personal history until the original signal becomes obscured.

We explore how affects transform into emotions through storytelling and meaning-making, and how our personalities develop as choreographed responses to these feelings. The arts play a crucial role in this emotional education – from gospel music conveying spiritual perseverance to hip-hop voicing resistance to classical compositions modeling emotional complexity.

For many adults, reconnecting with affect becomes essential to healing. This "laetalescence" – a second adolescence of sorts – involves questioning emotional scripts that no longer serve us and reawakening positive affects that fuel curiosity, play, and authentic connection. This journey isn't about feeling more; it's about remembering how to feel at all.

Ready to reclaim your affective wisdom? Start by noticing the subtle sensations in your body before labeling them. These micro-signals – a tightness in the chest, warmth rising in the face, a shift in posture – aren't trivial; they're doorways to emotional truth and the foundation of a more embodied, authentic life.

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Your first relationships weren't just emotionally significant—they literally wired your brain. Long before you could speak, think, or remember, your nervous system was absorbing profound lessons about connection through the silent language of touch, gaze, rhythm, and response.

This fascinating journey through attachment theory reveals how our earliest relationships architect our nervous systems, creating patterns that continue to influence our adult connections. Through the metaphorical journey of "Cordelia," we explore how these attachment patterns begin forming from the moment of birth, through a complex interplay between biology and relationship.

We examine four distinct attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—not as fixed personality traits but as adaptive responses to early environments. Secure attachment develops when caregivers consistently meet a child's needs with attuned presence, creating a foundation for healthy relationships. Anxious attachment emerges from unpredictable caregiving, leading to hypervigilance and intense relationship anxiety. Avoidant attachment forms when early emotional connections are flat or intrusive, teaching emotional containment as self-protection. Disorganized attachment stems from environments where caregivers are simultaneously sources of safety and fear, creating contradictory impulses in relationships.

What makes this exploration especially hopeful is the science of neuroplasticity—our brains remain changeable throughout life. Each secure connection we experience as adults creates new neural pathways that can gradually transform old patterns. This perspective invites us to approach our relationship struggles not with shame but with compassion, recognizing that while our earliest experiences may script the opening scenes of our story, they need not dictate its conclusion.

Whether you recognize yourself in the secure dance, anxious waltz, avoidant solo, or disorganized tango, understanding these patterns offers liberation and the possibility of writing new relational stories. Join us for this profound exploration of our deepest wiring and discover how awareness can transform even the oldest neural pathways toward more secure connection.

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What happens in the mind of a three-month-old baby? Far more than we once believed. As Cordelia reaches her third and fourth months of life, her world transforms from a blur into a fascinating landscape of relationships, expectations, and embodied scripts that will shape her future.

Dr. Scott Conkright guides us through the remarkable developmental leaps happening in these crucial months. Cordelia's visual system sharpens dramatically as she begins tracking objects and making sustained eye contact. This seemingly simple advancement represents her entry into the world of social connection – the foundation of all human relationships. We learn how babies are naturally drawn to faces with an intensity we later learn to suppress, and how these early exchanges of gazes represent our first dialogues, occurring long before words enter the picture.

The episode explores how these early interactions create what psychologist Silvan Tomkins called "affective scripts" – embodied patterns of expectation that form through countless moments of attunement or misattunement. When a baby cries and someone responds consistently, they learn trust. When signals go chronically unanswered, the nervous system adapts differently. Through contrasting developmental pathways – "Cordelia Ideal" versus "Cordelia Tragic" – we witness how early caregiving shapes fundamental patterns of emotional regulation and relationship formation. Yet these paths aren't destiny; our neural systems remain responsive to new patterns of connection throughout life.

Have you ever wondered what early messages might still be echoing in your adult relationships? Listen as we explore how the formation of consciousness through relationship isn't just fascinating science – it's the very blueprint of who we become.

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

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We explore how our emotional lives are shaped from birth through the story of Cordelia, examining how feelings become emotions and how unconscious patterns develop. Understanding these early formations is the key to rewriting our emotional scripts and experiencing more meaningful happiness.

• Nine innate affects (interest-excitement, enjoyment-joy, distress-anguish, shame-humiliation, fear-terror, surprise-startle, anger-rage, disgust, dissmell) form the basis of all emotions
• Newborns experience feelings as pure, immediate sensations without memory or expectation
• Laidelescence represents a critical developmental stage in adults when we can question and rewrite emotional scripts
• Emotional patterns become automated in childhood before we have the cognitive capacity to understand them
• Every person experiences the same basic affects, but our emotional lives become uniquely individual through memory and meaning-making
• Recognizing automatic emotional patterns is the first step toward taking conscious control
• The early relationship between caregiver and infant lays the foundation for future emotional responses
• Complex emotions require body signals, mental meaning-making, and consciousness to form a personal story

Consider what emotional patterns in your life feel automatic, as if running without your conscious input. Reflect on how your early experiences might have shaped your current emotional responses.

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

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What if the very emotion that often holds us back could actually be a catalyst for growth? Join us on the Meaningful Happiness podcast as we sit down with Robert Spano, a distinguished conductor and composer, to unravel the complexities of shame in the realms of music and beyond. Through a fascinating exploration of Tompkins' theories, Robert shares personal anecdotes that reveal how shame can influence creativity and joy within the performing arts. We promise you'll gain a fresh perspective on how these emotions can shape not only personal but also professional relationships.

As we navigate the intricate connection between shame, learning, and self-worth, Robert and I reflect on how early experiences of shame can affect our sense of agency. We discuss the empowering journey of overcoming these barriers, sharing personal stories and insights that shed light on the transformative power of recognizing one's own potential. Whether it's learning to read orchestral scores or mastering a new skill, this conversation emphasizes the importance of nurturing self-efficacy, even when faced with feelings of inadequacy.

In the final segments, we tackle the challenges of handling public criticism and the internalization of shame. With insights from Robert's extensive experience, we explore how musicians and artists can protect their self-esteem against harsh reviews. We also consider the role of supportive environments in fostering personal growth, distinguishing between constructive remorse and unproductive self-shaming. By understanding the fundamental differences between affect and emotion, you'll discover how to embrace curiosity and openness to lead a more resilient life. Listen in for a comprehensive understanding of navigating the emotional landscapes of both personal and professional spheres.

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

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What if love isn't about finding your other half, but about embracing another's imperfections alongside your own? Join us in this thought-provoking episode as we challenge the romantic ideal that love completes us. Drawing on Lacan's philosophy and the wisdom of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we argue that true love is not about filling our voids with someone else, but about two imperfect people exchanging their vulnerabilities. Discover how acknowledging our emotional baggage and inherent human flaws can lead to a more meaningful and authentic connection, liberating us from the pursuit of perfect love.

In the second part of our episode, we dive into the transformative experience of group therapy as a powerful antidote to shame. Explore how sharing personal struggles in a supportive group setting can reveal common experiences, helping individuals articulate their own desires amidst external pressures. By highlighting the importance of reciprocation and connection, we illustrate how communal support can foster healing and self-understanding. Don’t miss the chance to learn how collective engagement can help us navigate life’s complexities and make us feel more connected and understood.

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright