Marriage 3X3 Podcast Por arte de portada

Marriage 3X3

Marriage 3X3

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 Auto-generated transcript:My brothers and sisters, I have been asked to give some advice about marriage. So here goes. I call this my marriage advice three by three. Marriage advice three by three. Three things that you do not want to do or you should not do and three things that you should do. So the first question to ask is, do you want to remain happily married? And if the answer is yes, then there are three things that you must not do. The first one, don't collect garbage. Have a selective memory. Remember only good and forget all bad. Because garbage always stinks and only you will smell it. So don't collect garbage. Now, remember, sometimes you will hear people saying, be very careful what you say to your spouse. One word can destroy years of relationship. My point is, a relationship, which is destroyed by one word, is a jail sentence. It is not a relationship. A marriage is a relationship which is bulletproof, which should be bulletproof. A marriage is like a ship. Ships are built to sail the high seas and to battle with storms from the outside. A ship is not meant to sit in the harbor in safety. It is meant to sail the high seas. The beauty of a marriage is the same thing as the beauty of any deep and real and genuine friendship. And that is the obviation, the lack of need for defenses. In a good marriage, there is no need for defenses. My point is, that if I have to watch every word that I say to my wife, every word that I say to my wife, every word that I say to my wife, every word that I say to my wife, or my husband, if I have to be careful about every single thing I say or do, then how is this a marriage? It can be, you know, a political relationship. It can be a diplomatic connection or whatever. How is it a marriage? How is it a close friendship? A close friendship is one in which there are no defenses. I don't need to defend. Because I know that this person will never deliberately harm me. Now, is that person, is it possible that this person may say or do something which appears to be hurting, even insulting? Is that possible? Of course, because they're human. They're human. But if you have this fundamental belief that it is never done deliberately, they're not trying to do that. They may have, their emotion of the time may have got over them or overcome them or overpowered them, or they may be, under some other outside stress or whatnot. That is the reason why they have said what they have said. It is not meant for me. Then believe me, nothing will happen to your relationship, except that it will make it stronger. So don't collect garbage. Don't collect bad stuff. Forget the bad stuff. Collect the good stuff. Remind yourself again and again about the good stuff. Anything bad that comes to you from, your spouse, forgive. Forgive. Number one. Number two, don't try to mold or change or sculpt your spouse. If you didn't like what you saw in the first place, why did you marry that person? If you liked what you saw, why do you want to change it? Your spouse is not a rock or a lump of clay or a patient in your hospital. They didn't marry you to be changed. So change yourself to like them. Remind yourself that you were not forced into that marriage. You went into it with your eyes open because you liked that person. And if you like that person, then like that person. Don't try to change them. Number three, not to do. Don't criticize. Nagging never works. If they wanted a nag, they would have married a horse. So forgive and seek forgiveness. Forgive and seek forgiveness. Nothing works like sorry. Nothing works like sorry. So, say sorry. And the other person, don't say, oh, you know, you always say this and you always say sorry and you always repeat. That is why we are human. Ask yourself, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said this in Surah An-Nur. Allah said, do you not want Allah to forgive you? So if you want Allah to forgive you, then forgive your spouse and thank them for giving you so much practice.
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