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Ever realized someone was still pulling your strings years after you thought you'd cut them loose? That's exactly where I found myself recently—seven and a half years after leaving my narcissistic marriage, discovering brand new layers of manipulation I hadn't even recognized.

The shocking truth? I'd been conditioned to believe I was making good parenting choices by "keeping the peace," when in reality, I was allowing my ex to continue controlling my life through our child. It took a former partner (a therapist with decades of experience) to point out this painful truth—my ex was still manipulating my schedule, my relationships, and my peace through carefully crafted situations involving our son.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, I break down a recent interaction where my ex tried to manipulate me into taking over childcare for our sick son so he could go golfing. I walk through the multiple layers of this manipulation—from "praise baiting" by reminding me of past good deeds, to creating anxiety in our child that I'd have to soothe, to presenting himself as considerate for "checking with me first" when really he was just looking for an out from his parental responsibilities.

What makes this kind of manipulation so damaging is how it affects children. My son has developed anxiety around doing anything that might upset his father, including me dating or having my own social life. He's internalized his father's reactions as somehow being his responsibility. The heartbreaking reality of narcissistic co-parenting is that our children become unwitting pawns in a game they never asked to play.

If you're struggling with a narcissistic co-parent, this episode offers validation, strategies for setting boundaries, and most importantly, hope. Because as I've discovered, healing isn't just about surviving—it's about thriving in your own renaissance of self-discovery. The journey may not be linear, but every time you recognize manipulation and choose differently, you're taking a powerful step forward.

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