As early as I can remember, I have always wanted deep friendships. People who know my story. People I can trust with the intimate details of what is going on in my life. I didn’t have that when I was young and it left me with a deep yearning for closeness in my adult life. At first I thought I could fill the need with a boyfriend or a husband but I couldn’t make him fit into what I needed. I meet my now best friend, Molly, at my work. We started a bit slow and then we somehow fit. We weren’t anything alike and yet we met a need for each other that has lasted over 25 years. That circle of friendship grew and kept expanding until there were 7 and then a few more in the boyfriends and husbands. I am grateful to say, I have a posse. People to celebrate with and invest in. I didn’t realize the depth of what they gave me until my incident. They all showed up in different ways and I felt seen in a way I had never thought possible. I needed them and they met my need to be realized. I had a place to land, people to invest my gifts in. It gave my life a depth that is remarkable.

Friendship isn’t an automatic thing. There are actions that will make it better, no matter who your friends are, no matter what your personality. You need to be authentic, you need to ask for time, and you need to trust. It’s a formula that pays off in ways you never dreamed.

I’m so thankful for my friends. I still make new friends but I’m so glad I have a group of people that show up for me in a big way and that I don’t have to impress. I honestly strive to be the best I can be, knowing they always have my back, that they seek to understand me. This episode of Little Better You is just a snippet of what I’ve learned on my path to friendship but whatever you do, lean in to friendship. I truly wouldn’t be the same without my friendships. And I know it will pay off for you too.

Since my brain injury, I had to figure out ways that would get me off my seat and get things done. I've figured out a few processes that really work for me. From getting one thing done to celebrating my accomplishments, these little sparks really work to light my fire. Dig in with me and check out whether some of these ideas might get you going! It's a short one but it's packed with goodness!

I was raised a people-pleaser. That meant that as long as I had “majority rule” among my friends and family, I read it as I was on the right track. I lived this way for years and everything in my life, from the job I chose to work at, to the house and neighborhood I lived in, was partly a result of what I thought people thought. It got tricky when I wanted to do something that I perceived people weren’t going to like. That resulted in me hiding my desires from those who I felt would disagree until I had to tell them or the life-results were out there for all to see. Because of this, my behavior was childlike and I was overlooking something really important, the message of the divine in my life. Don’t worry what others think. You have a divine voice giving you guidance about the opportunities in your life. Lean into your deeper purpose and eliminate the noise that comes with checking in on what others’ think. It will minimize the confusion and put you a path to a deep sense of fulfillment in your life.