“ We don't choose what turns us on… but we get to play with it.”

Too often, women move into adulthood (and even marriage) without a real roadmap for understanding their own desires, let alone the conversations that bring intimacy to life. In this episode, we’re exploring how putting yourself at the center of your erotic life can transform not just your sex life, but your confidence, creativity, and sense of empowerment in every area.

Our guests, Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, are co-founders of the Somatica Institute, known for their pioneering, hands-on approach to sex and relationship coaching. They don’t just teach theory—they teach the real-world skills we all wish we’d learned in school, like tolerating awkwardness, negotiating desires without guilt, and sitting with the sometimes-uncomfortable tension of wanting different things to create deeply fulfilling relationships.

In this candid, powerful episode, Erin, Danielle, and Celeste unpack:

• Why so many people enter adult relationships without the tools to express feelings, ask for what they need, support a partner, or handle emotional tension
• The importance of women learning to re-center themselves (over others!) in sex, relationships, and life
• How to sit with discomfort and why it’s essential for creating healthy, lasting relationships
• Why most of us are taught to downplay our own pleasure and how to finally unlearn it
• Creating a “pleasure menu”: how getting specific about your unique turn-ons and needs can transform sex and relationships
• Why a wide range of sexual fantasies can be a healthy part of your erotic life when explored consciously and consensually
• Why we don’t get to choose what turns us on, but we can choose how we play and interact with those feelings in the bedroom, with agency and empowerment
• How building a “village” of emotional support (friends, therapists, community) can take the pressure off your romantic relationships

OUR GUESTS: Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., are pioneers in intimacy, sexuality, and relationship coaching. Co-founders of the Somatica® Institute, they’ve transformed how love and connection are taught through their experiential, science-based Somatica Method. Together, they’ve trained over 1,000 coaches and helped countless individuals and couples embrace vulnerability, rediscover desire, and create deeply fulfilling relationships. Authors of three influential books—Making Love Real, Coming Together, and Confidence—Danielle and Celeste blend authenticity, humor, and bold honesty to inspire transformation. Their relatable insights into intimacy and connection make them captivating guests, offering audiences practical tools to enhance relationships and live passionately.

Want more Danielle and Celeste? Find them online at https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/ and https://www.somaticainstitute.com/

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“You are not alone.”

We hear this phrase often—but truly feeling less alone is something else entirely. Real connection begins when we share our stories, speak our truths, and let ourselves be seen. Few people champion this idea more powerfully than today’s guest, Dr. Jessica Zucker. Jessica is a psychologist specializing in reproductive and maternal mental health, and is the author of “I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement”. After experiencing her own miscarriage, Jessica launched the now-viral #IHadAMiscarriage campaign—a deeply personal yet universal invitation for women to speak their truths on their own terms. Her next book, “Normalize It: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women's Lives”, is out on April 22nd.

In this episode, Erin and Jessica explore the silence, shame, and societal expectations around grief, body image, motherhood and many other fundamental aspects of women’s lives—and how sharing our stories can help dismantle them. We discuss:

• Why storytelling is an act of liberation—and how speaking openly about miscarriage and other stigmatized experiences builds healing and connection
• How silence around common women’s experiences like infertility, illness, menopause, and abortion perpetuates shame and isolation
• The problem with comparative suffering—and why women often minimize their pain by telling themselves “others have it worse”
• How girlhood teaches us to self-silence and be “good,” and the long-term impact this has on authenticity and self-expression
• Why it’s essential to talk to kids early and openly about bodies, sexuality, and emotions
• The cultural cost of silence—and how creating space for women to share their whole truths can shift the narratives we’ve been taught to hide

OUR GUEST: Jessica Zucker is a Los Angeles-based psychologist specializing in reproductive health and the author of the award-winning book I HAD A MISCARRIAGE: A Memoir, a Movement. Jessica is the creator of the viral #IHadaMiscarriage campaign. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, Vogue, and Harvard Business Review, among others. She’s been featured on NPR, The Today Show, and Good Morning America and earned advanced degrees from New York University and Harvard University. Her new book, NORMALIZE IT: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women’s Lives, is out April 22nd!

Want more Jessica? Find her online at https://www.drjessicazucker.com/ and check out her books “I Had A Miscarriage” and “Normalize It” at the links below:

• https://www.drjessicazucker.com/i-had-a-miscarriage
• https://www.drjessicazucker.com/normalize-it

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ihadamiscarriage/

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“ You can't say the wrong thing to the right person.”

Modern dating can feel like a chaotic mess—swiping fatigue, societal pressures, and outdated patriarchal norms make it seem more like a minefield than a path to love. But what if dating could actually be joyful, empowering, and aligned with your values? Enter Lily Womble, a feminist dating coach, author, speaker, and founder of Date Brazen, which is on a mission to help women create dating lives that feel extraordinary and authentic.

In this episode, Erin and Lily break down the biggest myths about dating and offer powerful, actionable strategies to help you approach love on your terms. Whether you’re feeling disheartened by the process or just need a fresh perspective, this conversation will leave you ready to date with confidence. We discuss:

• Why dating is still stuck in the dark ages and how to reclaim your power & joy in the process
• Dating as self-care— prioritizing boundaries, agency, and pleasure over pressure and scarcity
• Most people aren’t your person and how to focus on the ones who actually align with you
• Ditch the checklist, because true compatibility is about how they make you feel, not just what’s on paper
• Words matter—how reframing your dating mindset creates new possibilities
• Using qualifying & disqualifying questions to filter for true compatibility
• Dating apps are just a tool—how to attract great matches both online and IRL

OUR GUEST: Lily Womble is an intersectional feminist dating coach and founder of Date Brazen. She has led thousands of badass, feminist women around the world to build dating lives that feel like self-care, that also lead to extraordinary love. Womble has been featured in InStyle, HuffPost, Bustle, ABC News, and Oprah Magazine. She lives in Brooklyn.

Want more Lily? Find her and Date Brazen online at https://www.datebrazen.com/ and listen to the Date Brazen podcast https://www.datebrazen.com/blog. Check out her book Thank You, More Please.

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/

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"Our intuition does speak to us—it screams at us, if we really let it listen."

For many women, motherhood is the most rewarding, purpose-driven, and all-consuming role we take on. But what happens when the kids grow up and fly the nest? How do you figure out what’s next for you? Turns out, this chapter is bursting with potential for reinvention and self-discovery—but it often starts with the daunting question: "Who am I now?" Jodi Silverman, empty nest advocate and founder of the Moms Who Dare community, joins us to peel back the layers of identity beyond motherhood.

In this episode, Erin and Jodi dive into the exciting (and sometimes terrifying) journey of rediscovering yourself after your kids gain independence. They explore how to approach this transition with intention, curiosity, and a daring spirit. You'll hear about:

• Why embracing new experiences is key to building a fulfilling life beyond motherhood.
• How stepping outside your comfort zone—even when things don’t go as planned—helps refine what truly lights you up.
• The surprising power of starting with what you *don’t* want to get clarity on your next steps.
• The magic that happens when Moms put their fulfillment first—because when you thrive, so do your kids.
• Why maintaining your own interests shows your children that self-care and ambition matter at every stage of life.
• How making decisions based on how you want to feel can be the best guide to your next adventure.
• The power of reframing loneliness as an opportunity—to create new routines, deepen connections, and embrace this new season with excitement.

OUR GUEST: Jodi Silverman is a coach and advocate for women in the empty nest phase, helping them reclaim their identities and build fulfilling lives beyond motherhood. Through The Moms Who Dare® community and her DARE Method, she empowers midlife women to embrace change, rediscover their passions, and step into this new chapter with confidence.

Want more Jodi? Find her online at https://jodisilverman.com/ and listen to her podcast Beyond the Empty Nest

Follow her on social media:

• IG: https://www.instagram.com/jodi_silverman/
• FB: https://www.facebook.com/jodibsilverman/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/inthenestwithjodisilverman
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodisilverman/

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Do you ever feel like you're doing all the emotional heavy lifting in your relationship? Constantly managing your partner’s feelings, smoothing over conflicts, and wondering why you're always the one trying to "fix" things? You might be over-functioning—taking on more than your fair share of responsibility and emotional labor.

In this episode, Erin sits down with psychotherapist Dr. Ashley Southard to unpack the unhealthy dynamic of over-functioning in relationships and how to break free. Tune in as they discuss what a real, emotionally mature partner looks like (yes, they do exist!), why rupture and repair are essential for healthy relationships, and why it’s time to stop analyzing your partner’s issues and start focusing on your needs. Here’s what’s on the table:

• Why women are often conditioned to overfunction in relationships.
• How over-functioning leads to loneliness, frustration, and resentment—and keeps you stuck in a cycle.
• The impact gender roles and cultural norms have on relationship dynamics, and how they often leave women to pick up the emotional labor.
• Ignoring your intuition has consequences—don’t wait for a crisis to force change, pay attention to the small signals before reaching a breaking point.
• Why shifting your focus inward and prioritizing yourself is the antidote to over-functioning.
• How to recognize the signs of an emotionally mature, engaged, and healthy partner.

OUR GUEST: Dr. Ashley Southard is a psychotherapist in Scottsdale, AZ, specializing in helping over-functioning women in unfulfilling relationships. With 20+ years of experience treating trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues, she creates a safe space for women to realize they’re not ‘crazy’ or ‘broken’—they’re powerful and capable of becoming their best selves. Dr. Ashley also shares life-changing insights on Instagram, guiding women to reclaim their power and heal together in community.

Want more Dr. Ashley? Find her online at www.drashleysouthard.com and follow her on social media:

• IG: @drashleysouthard
• FB: @drashleysouthard

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Find episode transcripts at www.hotterthaneverpod.com

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“Is it hot or is it just me?”

It’s a question many women find themselves asking as they navigate perimenopause and menopause—often without fully understanding what’s happening to their bodies. Despite affecting every woman, perimenopause remains widely misunderstood, rarely discussed, and frequently misdiagnosed. That’s why we’re thrilled to welcome menopause advocate Carin Luna-Ostaseski, founder of Hot Or Just Me, a resource and community dedicated to helping women navigate this life stage with curated wellness solutions and tailored products that actually address perimenopause and menopause symptoms.

Join Erin and Carin as they unpack the misunderstood and often-overlooked experience of perimenopause—and why, despite its challenges, this phase of life can be one of the most transformative and empowering. We discuss:

• Carin’s journey from creative director to whiskey entrepreneur to menopause advocate—proof that reinvention is possible at any age
• Unpacking perimenopause, its symptoms and why its underdiagnosed by medical professionals (Visit menopause.org to access a list of certified practitioners specializing in perimenopause and menopause)
• How increasing your libido can positively impact your experience of perimenopause
• Defining Andropause–or menopause for men– how to navigate conversations about hormonal changes with your partner
• How menopause can be a catalyst for career shifts, self-discovery, and owning your next chapter
• Practical solutions and must-try products to ease perimenopause and menopause symptoms
• The power of community in normalizing conversations around aging, menopause, and beyond

OUR GUEST: Carin Luna-Ostaseski is the founder of Hot or Just Me?, an online resource and shop dedicated to empowering women through perimenopause and menopause with trusted products, expert advice, and a supportive community. Her personal struggle with symptoms like hot flashes, brain fog, and insomnia inspired her mission to find solutions. A serial entrepreneur, Carin made history as the first American woman and Hispanic person to create a Scotch whisky, SIA Scotch Whisky, which gained recognition through a record-breaking Kickstarter campaign. She also founded the Entrepreneurial Spirit Fund, providing over $350,000 in grants to underserved entrepreneurs.

Want more of Carin and her work? Check out https://hotorjustme.com/ and get 10% off your first purchase with code HOTTER

Follow #HotOrJustMe on social media:

• Instagram: @hotorjustme
• Facebook: @hotorjustme
• TikTok: @hotorjustme

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"Getting things done": it's a mantra for many, but what happens when it becomes a burden? In this episode, we sit down with author, performer, and self-proclaimed overachiever Amy Wilson to untangle the messy web of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the endless pursuit of "more." Drawing from her eye-opening book, “Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser,” Amy shares her journey from being the person who could handle everything to realizing that our worth isn’t defined by what we can do for others.

Tune in as Erin and Amy explore why high-achievers—especially women—often take on more than their fair share and the power in stepping back and saying “enough”. We discuss:

• The hidden cost of being “highly capable”—why taking on too much responsibility can be a fast track to burnout.
• Why "people pleaser" and "perfectionist" are loaded (and gendered) labels that set us up for exhaustion and resentment.
• How birth order can shape self-sacrificing and accommodating tendencies (hello, eldest daughters!).
• The power of letting go—why some things simply can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try.
• The myth that quitting equals failure and why knowing when to walk away is just as important as perseverance.
• Why being indispensable doesn’t mean being secure and how overachieving at work and in relationships can lead to being overlooked and undervalued.
• How to recognize life’s warning signs before they escalate into painful wake-up calls.

OUR GUEST: Amy Wilson is the author of the memoir When Did I Get Like This? And her latest book, Happy to Help. Since 2016 she has been the co-host of the Webby-honored podcast What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood. Amy is also an actor who appeared on Broadway and as a series regular on TV sitcoms. She lives with her family in New York City.

Want more Amy? Find her online at https://www.amywilson.com/, read her book, “Happy to Help” https://www.amywilson.com/happy-to-help-book and listen to her podcast “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/

Follow her on social media:

• Instagram: @amywlsn
• Facebook: @amywlsn
• TikTok: @amywilsonauthor
• Threads: @amywlsn
• Blueskey: @amywlsn

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“Is monogamy normal? Is it our default? Is it healthy?”

Have you ever had a conversation stop you in your tracks because it hits so close to home? That’s exactly what happened to Erin and producer Erica after our episode with Dr. Joli Hamilton late last year. Dr. Joli’s work to help people open their marriages sparked deep reflections on monogamy, marriage, and long-term relationships—not just for us, but for many of you, too. We knew we had to dive deeper.

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Erin and Erica get personal as they unpack their own relationship journeys and explore the shifting landscape of modern love. Whether you’re curious about alternative, non-monogamous relationship models or frustrated with the realities of modern dating, this episode is for you.

Here’s what we’re diving into:

• Rediscovering independence after divorce and rethinking traditional relationship norms.
• Navigating the rising visibility and appeal of polyamory, open marriages, and ethical non-monogamy—especially for women.
• Decentering men from the narrative of women’s lives and finding personal fulfillment on your own terms.
• The challenges of meeting emotional and sexual needs in long-term relationships.
• Examining the purpose of marriage—whether as a stabilizing force or an ever-evolving agreement.

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