France once put a dog on trial for murder. And no, that’snot a metaphor or a band name. It's just France being... France.

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Stoic philosopher. Reluctant emperor. Guy who wrote hisdiary like Tumblr quotes. Marcus Aurelius tried to be calm while Rome caught fire—metaphorically and sometimes literally.

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Charles VI of France thought he was made of glass. He alsomurdered his best friend, had a wolf phase, and occasionally forgot he was king. Royalty’s never been so fragile.

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Rome didn’t start with emperors—it started with a kidnapping, a little patricide, and a whole lot of yelling about liberty. This week, we dive into the chaotic birth of the Roman Republic, where kings got kicked out and everyone immediately regretted it.

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Shout out to the Pixabay creators who provided sound effects for the episode:

• gustavorezende
• freesound_community

Diogenes of Sinope: philosopher, troll, public nuisance. Helived in a jar, barked at people, and told Alexander the Great to move out of his sunlight.

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Marcus Licinius Crassus: richest man in Rome, buyer ofburning buildings, and proof that you can’t bribe your way out of a really bad idea. Let’s squirt!