Peaches is flying solo until Maddie Kidd crashes the end of the episode for some asparagus-on-mac madness. In between? Chimps with fashion trends, exploding Walmart water bottles, cryptid cosplays, and Metallica versus the Pentagon.

Here’s the breakdown of the madness on Peaches Pit Party – On Demand! for Monday, July 14th:

• 🏃‍♂️ An 80-year-old legend finishes the Badwater 135, the hardest race on Earth, through Death Valley in 120° heat.
• 💦 Walmart recalls nearly a million water bottles due to projectile-launching lids that allegedly cause injuries. Peaches tries to understand how we got here.
• 💻 Ticket giveaway updates for Pantera, Volbeat, and the big mystery concert this Friday.
• 🥊 Adrian Peterson will fight the guy he punched during a poker game. Meanwhile, Tom Brady still hasn’t not retired, according to Matt Ryan.
• 🎳 A nude bowling event near Pittsburgh has Peaches cringing—and blaming Viktor for being pro-naked-anything.
• 🐾 A man in the UK is dressing as Pantherman, a cryptid in a catsuit leaping out from behind gravestones and yelling “Meow.” Peaches is convinced it’s Viktor on vacation.
• 🫐 A truck full of blueberries explodes on a Canadian highway. Peaches wants to ask Lt. Crane if this has ever happened in Idaho.
• 📦 A California woman gets hundreds of fake Amazon returns to her house for leather seat covers. Peaches considers making a glitter-based revenge plan against Viktor.
• 🥖 To Peach Their Own: What’s the most underrated food? Peaches’ listeners pop off with controversial takes like:
  • Toast (melty butter + cinnamon gang unite)
  • Mexican street corn (with tajín, obviously)
  • Pickled eggs (undeniable)
  • Asparagus (enter Maddie with a full-throated defense)
  • Mac & cheese with hot dogs AND mixed vegetables (Peaches says no)
• 👩‍🍳 Maddie & Peaches argue over whether asparagus belongs in mac & cheese, and somehow it ends with the two of them yelling, "We must cook."
• 🧠 The Elmo Twitter hack scarred Peaches for life. (He read all the tweets in Elmo’s voice. It’s worse than you think.)
• ⚖️ Metallica forced the Pentagon to take down a drone video using "Enter Sandman" without permission. Lars strikes again.
• 🗽 The NYPD accidentally jinxes July 4th by declaring it violence-free hours before a confirmed shooting. RIP the clean record.
• 🎶 311 is coming to Pocatello, and Peaches is very excited.