Joy! Joy! Joy!

Let’s start with a clarification: happiness and joy are not identical twins. Happiness is that bubbly high you get from winning a raffle or finding a parking spot downtown—it’s external, fleeting, like confetti in the wind. Joy, on the other hand, is more of a soul-deep warmth—steady, internal, and linked to meaning and purpose. Happiness is like a 4th of July sparkler and joy is a campfire that keeps you cozy when life gets chilly.

Research says we all need three things for a fulfilling life: achievement, meaning, and joy.

Most overachievers nail the first two. But joy? That elusive third wheel often gets left in the dust under a pile of emails and grocery lists for our resident overachievers.

Why? It is just a matter of time, or rather lack thereof. A study of 1,500 busy Harvard alums found that after work, chores, and basic hygiene, people had a whopping three hours a day left for discretionary joy-seeking. How those three hours are spent is as important as the three hours themselves. Some folks squeezed the last drop of joy out of those hours and others, well, not so much.

So, how do the joy-masters do it?

• Engage with Others: Want joy? Get yourself some good friends—and Kirsten called it -particularly some friends who are good at joy - aka Crina. Meaningful conversation, shared laughs, music and maybe even some outdoor adventure. Joy multiplies when it’s a group project.
• Avoid the Couch Trap: Passive downtime (we’re looking at you, Netflix and doomscrolling) scores low on the joy meter. Opt for active pursuits—gardening, hiking, baking, even volunteering. Your joy-o-meter will thank you.
• Follow Your Passion: Do what you love. Autonomy is joy’s secret sauce.
• Mix It Up: Variety is the spice of joyful life. Too much of one hobby leads to diminishing returns (yes, even pickleball). Keep your free time fresh.
• Protect Your Time: Guard your off-hours like a mama bear. Detaching from work is essential. Each extra work hour may rob you of joy—each hour of leisure gives it back.

In the end, joy isn’t a luxury—it’s a rebellion, a survival tactic, and maybe, just maybe, your best productivity hack yet.

How the Busiest People Find Joy

Unwrapping the Science of Joy - John Templeton Foundation

It’s time to focus on the often-misunderstood art of assertiveness—what it is, what it isn’t, and how learning to speak up for yourself with clarity and respect, which can change your life! Whether it’s Crina telling it like it is or just learning to speak up with friends, this episode illustrates just how transformative assertiveness can be, especially for those of us who’ve spent years saying “yes” when we really meant “no.”

Drawing on guidance from the Mayo Clinic, the episode breaks down assertiveness as a healthy, balanced communication style—firm but respectful, confident without being combative. It’s a powerful antidote to stress, resentment, and burnout, especially if you tend to overextend yourself in an effort to keep the peace. Unlike aggression, which bulldozes others, or passivity, which erases your own needs, assertiveness helps you communicate clearly while still honoring relationships and boundaries.

Listeners are reminded that assertiveness isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about knowing what you need, expressing it directly, and listening to others with the same respect you expect in return. It’s a skill, not a personality trait, and it can be learned and practiced. The episode offers practical tools: use “I” statements to own your feelings, practice saying no without apology, and pay attention to your body language—standing tall, making eye contact, giving yourself some time to respond and staying calm in moments of tension. And any of us who struggle with this may want to start small.

You’ll also learn how to identify the traps of passive or passive-aggressive behavior—like saying yes when you mean no, or expressing frustration through sarcasm—and how these patterns can damage relationships and leave you feeling powerless. With time and effort, assertiveness can lead to greater self-confidence, healthier connections, and more honest communication both at work and in your personal life.

The takeaway? Assertiveness isn’t just about getting what you want—it’s about being clear about who you are. Whether you’re dealing with a pushy colleague, a longtime friend, or a well-meaning but overbearing father-in-law, learning to assert yourself with clarity, confidence and calm is one of the most powerful tools we can develop.

Good Read:

Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic

“Mattering,” is one of the most underrated superpowers in the workplace!. Not "I got a cupcake on my work anniversary" mattering—but the real, gut-level kind where you feel seen, valued, and essential. Turns out, this isn't fluff. According to Crina, It's fuel.

Now, let’s clear something up: mattering isn’t the same as belonging. Belonging says, “You’re one of us.” Mattering says, “You’re essential to us.” It’s not just about being invited to the meeting—it’s knowing your presence changes what happens in the room.

We explore how leaders can make mattering happen through one simple (but wildly uncommon) practice: noticing. It’s seeing your team for more than their output. It’s remembering that Ava’s prepping for a big client meeting or that Margaret is quietly holding the team together. As an example, it is the lovely leader who wrote down one meaningful detail about each employee every Friday and followed up on Mondays. No grand gestures—just consistent, personal attention. Her team was consistently the most engaged in the building.

And it’s not just about seeing—it’s about hearing. We go beyond the nod-and-smile version of active listening to something deeper. It’s listening for total meaning—what people say, how they say it, what they don’t say, and what they’re feeling underneath. It’s following up. It’s asking, “What did you mean by that?” or “How did that feel?” or “Tell me more” and being ready to actually hear the answer.

We also talk about how to affirm people without sounding like a motivational poster. True affirmation is personal and specific. It’s not “you’re amazing”—it’s “your attention to detail really added to the quality of our work product.” When people feel their unique strengths are noticed, they show up stronger, take feedback better, and stay longer.

Ease. Meaning. Joy. They’re not nice-to-haves. They’re what happens when people know they matter. Let’s get after creating some mattering!

More to read:

The Power of Mattering at Work