See the video of this episode here.

Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sexual compatibility. Those struggles taught her a lot about herself: the pressures she was subject to, the ways she unintentionally cooperated, and the ways she was able to come into her own power and gain self-respect. In her soon-to-be-published memoir, Bonnie offers some of that hard-won wisdom.

Bonnie’s book is Staying Married is the Hardest Part: A Memoir of Passion, Secrets, and Sacrifice. Her website is https://bonniecomfort.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Have you read my latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again? Would you be willing to leave a review? It’s super-easy. Just go to this link, give a rating (5 stars, I hope!), say something about the book, and submit. And thanks!

Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD

Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder? Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining their assumptions. Then I tell one of my go-to stories about working with a high school kid who was diagnosed with ADHD and hadn’t been told yet—but his teachers had been told.

Here’s the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/13/magazine/adhd-medication-treatment-research.html

Why am I ranting about ADHD in a blog about couples therapy? Well, because the way ADHD hardened into a black-and-white diagnosis, as if it were analagous to diabetes, is a great example of psychosclerosis—hardening of the categories (see Short Take #1). And psychosclerosis is often what’s plaguing couples.

Please subscribe and review us!

Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.

Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.

Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)

To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/78kA6eTMtAs.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/.

If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well. Her recent book, Anatomy of Desire, describes how “flow,” as popularized by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is a key to unlocking passion and desire in a couple. She talks about five secrets and how to apply them. Judy and I had a great time talking with Emily, and we think you’ll love this episode.

Emily’s website is https://emilyjamea.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/charity-sinclair/.

As our guest in this episode, Charity Sinclair, puts it, “I’ve been on a lot of shit dates. No, really—literally shit dates.” Dates, she means, in which the guy was carrying around a stool sample. Or was carrying around dog shit.

And, she says, she’d take a shit date over a toxic date any time. In our conversation, Charity tells us about calling off her wedding just weeks before, when she discovered that her fiancé had been carrying on multiple relationships for years, lying and gaslighting in all of them. She writes—often hilariously—about what she learned from these and other experiences in her book We’re All Dating the Same Guy.

Charity’s website is https://sameguybook.com/podcast.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/matt-digeronimo/.

We live in polarized times. It’s hard to have conversations across the great divide—as soon as we detect signs that someone we’re talking to is on the other side, we tend to shut down our ability to hear and think about what they’re saying.

Our guest in this episode, Matt DiGeronimo, is a Navy veteran who realized when he took off the uniform that he wanted to be able to tell his grandchildren, when they ask him what he did in that turbulent era of 2025, that he did more to heal the country than simply rant on social media. Matt has developed tools to help people communicate across the divide, starting with one-on-one encounters in our living rooms and kitchen tables. His most recent book is Actualization: Becoming the Person Worthy of Your Dreams.

You can find more about Matt at https://beyondplatitudes.substack.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic:

The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”

Please subscribe and review us!

Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.

Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.

Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/.

Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses.

Rabbi Slatkin’s website is https://www.themarriagerestorationproject.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/found-out-my-father-had-been-cheating/.

What would you do if you found out at your father’s funeral that he had been having affairs? Your father, whom you had loved, honored, and trusted? Recently I’ve talked with several people in similar situations. Judy and I talk about how they might work on healing from that kind of betrayal.

We also talk about a dilemma a woman wrote to the NY Times Ethicist column about: Should she reveal to her adopted cousin that she (the cousin) was the product of an incestuous relationship? The article we refer to in this episode is at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/14/magazine/adoption-incest-secret-ethics.html.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.