💬 Episode 195: Self-Reflection with Grace

What do you do when self-reflection stirs up guilt, shame, or regret? 😣

In this episode, Heidi walks you through how to face your imperfections with compassion, truth, and grace — so your self-awareness actually leads to growth, not shutdown. 🌱

✨ Learn why it’s hard to see ourselves clearly
🛑 Understand how perfectionism and shame hold us back
🧠 Use self-compassion to move forward with strength
🌬️ Regulate your nervous system when tough emotions rise
🗣️ Apologize without drama or over-explaining
🧭 Take one small step toward change
💞 And see how emotional maturity creates deeper connection with your kids

This episode is for every mom who wants to raise emotionally healthy humans — and model what it looks like to love yourself, even in the messy middle. 💗

You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. You just need to be real. 👣

🔗 Listen now and breathe in this reminder:
You are enough. And you’re growing.

Ready to change? Let's talk! https://calendly.com/heidibenjaminsen/

✨ NEW EPISODE! ✨

🎙️ Ep. 194 - Two (Opposite) Things Can Be True

Ever feel proud and heartbroken as your child leaves for college?
Relieved and guilty for enjoying the quiet house?
Worried and trusting all at once?

💡 You’re not broken. You’re human. And BOTH can be true.

In this episode, I share:
✨ Why our brain resists emotional complexity
🧠 How to train your nervous system to hold two truths
💬 A coaching story that will make you feel seen
🤝 How cancel culture and ghosting thrive in “either/or” thinking
💚 3 tools to practice both/and awareness in parenting, marriage & friendships

📌 Highlights:
✅ Name both emotions out loud
✅ Swap “but” for “and”
✅ Soothe your nervous system while holding the tension

Let’s stop expecting perfection and start making room for humanity.

✨ NEW EPISODE! ✨

🎙 Ep 193: The Power of Self-Reflection is LIVE!

Ever blamed someone else… only to realize later you were the source of the problem? 😅💡
Yep, me too – and this week I’m sharing a funny lightbulb moment (literally 💡🌙) that reminded me just how powerful self-reflection is.

Inside this episode:
🪞 How to tell if the “problem” is yours or theirs
🧠 Why self-reflection only works when your nervous system is regulated
🧘‍♀️ A life-changing tool: “Just Like Me”
🫶 How to handle stress, irritation, and tension with more compassion
💬 Real examples from my life (yes, college dorm drama included!)

Self-reflection doesn’t keep us stuck – it moves us toward connection, calm, and confidence. 💚

👉 Get the Confident College Mom Course Here

🌟 New Podcast Episode: "Helping Kids Handle College Rejections" 🌟

Parents, are you navigating the emotional rollercoaster of college application season with your kids? This week’s episode is for you! 🎧💬

Rejection letters can be tough, but they’re also incredible opportunities for growth. In this episode, I share:
✅ How to support your child when they face rejection.
✅ Ways to help them process emotions in healthy, confident ways.
✅ The importance of modeling vulnerability and resilience.

🎯 Key Takeaways to Help Your Child Handle College Rejections:

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validate their emotions without trying to immediately “fix” them.
• Share Stories of Resilience: Talk about your own challenges and rejections to show setbacks are part of success.
• Model Positive Reactions: Avoid negative talk about the school or others who were accepted. Celebrate others’ wins!
• Encourage Reflection: Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you want to do next?” to help them look ahead.
• Remind Them of Their Worth: Rejection doesn’t define them. Confidence comes from knowing they’re more than one decision.

✨ Confidence isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about embracing it as part of a vibrant, courageous life. Let’s show our kids how to move through disappointment with grace.

👉 Listen now and share with a fellow senior parent! 💖

🎙️ New Podcast Episode!
💡 Ep 191: Quieting the Commentators and Narrators

Are you living your truth or letting the “commentators” shape your perspective? In this episode, I share lessons from the BYU-Alamobowl game, personal stories, and practical tools to help you:
✨ Distinguish between others' narratives and reality.
✨ Identify biases in yourself and others.
✨ Trust your intuition and maintain personal authority.

Here are 5 Key Questions I use to quiet the noise and stay grounded:
✅ What am I not seeing or hearing in their perspective?
✅ What’s their motivation or stake in persuading me?
✅ Are their words aligned with the facts I can verify?
✅ Am I only agreeing because it matches my beliefs?
✅ Do I need more information before forming an opinion?

🎧 Listen now to learn how to anchor yourself in truth, confidence, and emotional maturity.

👉 DM me if you'd like to work on uncovering your calm, confident self in 2025!
#Podcast #ConfidenceCoaching #EmotionalMaturity

Key Message: How we give and receive energy are deeply connected - our ability to do one affects our ability to do the other effectively

Key Points:
• If you have trouble receiving help or gifts, you may unconsciously be:
- Limiting abundance in your life
- Blocking positive connections with others
- Judging others when you give help
- Teaching your children unhealthy patterns

• Tips for Gracious Giving:
- Give without expecting anything in return
- Avoid giving from a place of obligation or resentment
- Let go of keeping score in relationships
- Don't use past gifts to manipulate ("I bought you those jeans, so...")
- Remember that anonymous giving can be powerful

• Tips for Gracious Receiving:
- Practice simply saying "thank you" without deflecting
- Accept compliments with a simple "I appreciate that"
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable in receiving help
- Don't feel pressured to reciprocate immediately
- Remember that accepting help models healthy behavior for your children

• Practical Applications:
- Write thank you notes from a place of gratitude, not obligation
- Look people in the eye when receiving compliments
- Accept help when needed, especially during challenging times
- Let go of the need to "prove a point" by rejecting help
- Model gracious receiving for your children

• Benefits of Balanced Giving and Receiving:
- Stronger connections with others
- More authentic relationships
- Increased abundance in your life
- Better role modeling for your children
- Deeper family bonds

Remember: Being vulnerable enough to receive help is just as important as being strong enough to give it. This balance creates healthy connections and models positive behavior for your children.

Curious about having your own, private confidence coach? Sign up here.

Key Points:

• Host Heidi Benjaminsen discusses the importance of "quiet wins" - personal victories in emotional life and relationships that often go unnoticed
• These wins build confidence and strengthen family relationships, even when others don't explicitly acknowledge them

Notable Quiet Wins Discussed:

• Staying calm and curious during difficult conversations, especially with children
• Not participating in gossip or spreading private information about others
• Declining invitations/opportunities that don't align with your values or energy
• Resisting the urge to correct or give unsolicited advice, especially to children
• Allowing others (particularly children) to manage their own responsibilities
• Speaking positively to yourself after failures or setbacks
• Apologizing without casting blame on others
• Making responsible financial decisions, even when unsexy or invisible
• Remaining non-defensive when facing criticism or belittling comments
• Maintaining a positive attitude after committing to help, even if reluctant
• Disengaging from negative discussions without feeling compelled to respond
• Being direct about important issues while maintaining professionalism
• Avoiding guilt trips with teens/young adults when they decline family activities

Key Takeaway: While these wins may be quiet, their impact is significant - they build trust, strengthen relationships, and develop personal integrity. As Heidi emphasizes, "A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family - not a perfect mother."

Sign up for a consult call here.

Uncertainty is the breeding ground for stress and anxiety. But it is always about a future possible event, it isn't about the present.

When our body feels uncertain, our nervous system works up into a tizzy to try to protect us from any future possible danger.

Listen to episode 188 to hear Heidi teach you how to calm your nervous system so you can anchor back into the present. Learn about:

• Belly breathing
• 5 senses anchoring
• Toe to head tensing and releasing
• Positive visualization

Once we have regulated our nervous system, we can see we can handle the present... because we are.

For private coaching, set up a consult call at https://calendly.com/heidibenjaminsen/