Episodios

  • Obsessing Over the Narcissist? Here’s a 5-Minute Mind Reset to Stop The Mind Racing

    Obsessing Over the Narcissist? Here’s a 5-Minute Mind Reset to Stop The Mind Racing
    Jun 12 2025
    SAVE THIS EP! Still stuck in your head about the narcissist? In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick but powerful nervous system reset to stop the obsessive thoughts and bring you back to peace—fast. You’ll get: ✅ A calming breathwork drop-in ✅ 3 truth statements to interrupt the spiral ✅ A soothing visualization to reclaim your clarity Because you deserve peace—not mental chaos. 👑 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions : https://christyjade.com/somatichealing ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course : https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Still obsessing over what the narcissist said, did or maybe didn't do. Feel like your brain won't shut up and your peace is always just out of reach. Queen, you are not crazy and you're definitely not alone in today's thriving five. We're doing a quick nervous system reset to stop that mental spiraling and get you back to your calm ground itself, even if you've not met her. Alright, let's take your power back starting now. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen, this one's for you. (00:51) All right, beauty. If you have been stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, wondering why, feeling like you cannot let go, this is for you. Obsessive thoughts are actually a trauma response, not some personality flaw. So the brain clings to the pain because it's trying to solve it. But today, we're not solving everything we are soothing in this quick episode. So first, let's just drop in together. Place your hand over your heart and one on your belly if that feels good to you. Now you can either close your eyes or just soften your gaze and let's breathe together in through the nose. Inhale for four, holds for two, exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Again, inhale for four, hold for two, and exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Letting those shoulders drop, let your jaw soften your eyebrows, release any stress, and quietly say to yourself, repeat after me. I am safe in this moment, I'm allowed to stop thinking about them. (02:43) Peace is mine and I'm reclaiming it now. Beautiful. So let's speak some truth to that lovely old heart of yours. Loud and clear. Okay, thinking about it over and over won't change what happened, right? It's not going to change anything, and this is something that has definitely helped me just stopping and saying, you know what? Thinking about it isn't fixing it. You've already survived it. Now we have chosen freedom, which feels a heck of a lot better. Even if we get these obsessive thoughts, sometimes they will get less and less and we can speed that up, that process up by doing exercises like this. Number two, they are not worth my energy today, right? They're not. Energy is your currency. We have a short time here on Earth, so we're going to spend it on you, not them. You deserve that. Whether you totally feel that or not. (03:59) You do. I'm telling you, and I'm the smartest queen ever. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay. Number three, we don't need closure from them, right? You can say, I am the closure. It's in you. We talked about this recently. I am the closure, their apology, whatever you might expect. We did a couple of episodes on apologies recently, right? Their apology is not going to heal you, but your own voice will. So let those settle in, right? Thinking about it is not going to change it. They are not worth your energy and you don't need closure from them. You are the closure. Alright, so we're going to do a quick visualization here. So again, you can have your eyes open close, but for me, I love closing them, but it's all up to you. Imagine yourself standing on a rocky shoreline and the waves are crashing, loud, chaotic, just like those obsessive thoughts that go through your mind. (05:17) But now picture yourself turning around and behind you is a forest trail. It's quiet, it's peaceful. Sun is filtering through the trees. You take a step away, away from the chaos, then another step and another. So with each step that crashing gets softer and softer. Now, it's far behind you in the getting more and more quiet. You're stepping. You're stepping again. Now it's silent and you feel that warm glow of the sun on your skin, on your face. Breathe it in smile. Feel that. Feel that difference in what you chose to do to walk away from the chaos. This is your nervous ...
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    9 m
  • You Blocked the Narcissist... Now They’re Losing It (Let’s Talk About Why)

    You Blocked the Narcissist... Now They’re Losing It (Let’s Talk About Why)
    Jun 10 2025
    Blocked the narcissist and now they’re spiraling? Good. That’s not drama — that’s proof you took your power back. In this episode, we break down why they react that way, how to protect your peace, and why holding the line is your biggest win yet. 👑🔥 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT All right, you finally blocked the narcissists. No more texts, no more dms, no more access to your beautiful energy. And now what? Though? They are spiraling. Suddenly you're the villain. They may be stalking your socials, blowing up mutual friends or family members, and maybe even running a full-blown smear campaign, which I have been on the other end of. And it's not fun, but it is very common with narcissists, right? So if you don't know what a smear campaign is, it is basically imagine them just badmouthing you to anyone and everyone. They can really for a reaction from you. But two birds with one stone, they get to also make you look bad to other people. But what I want you to remember today, this chaos, the rage, it means you took your power back and that is the win. So let's break it all down in this episode. (01:02) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (02:00) Hey, queen, it's Christie. And today we're talking about what happens when you do the bold, brave thing and you actually block the narcissist. You hit the button, you silence the chaos. You close that portal to all of their icky manipulative games, right? That's such freedom. But now they're losing it, right? Often they will come back stronger and harder, and this can be a scary part of the process. I've been through it. It happened, usually does. So it's very expected. We'll talk about why, but it's also a big old, beautiful neon sign saying You did the right thing. Why do these narcissists spiral after you block them? This is, I don't know. This helps me just sit with all of it and be super clear. And I don't know. When I learned about all of this, it did help me feel better in this situation. Number one, I've talked about this. (02:59) The narcissist doesn't want you. What do they want? Class control over you. It's all about the control. It's about the access, the option to push your buttons, rile you up. They like that. I know. Not cool, but at this point, you probably know that they want the supply. That's my favorite word, having to do with narcissists, because that's all they want. The supply with the control, your reactions, your emotions, your attention, that feeds them. So when you block them, you are taking their drug away. You're cutting off the hit. And for a narcissist that is panic mode, which can look like different things. So there can be sudden rage, right? There could be rage, just, oh my gosh. Let's say you blocked 'em on the phone. Then they, but not the social media. They might come over in your social media, they might show up at your house. (03:59) They might get through a friend, get some message to you, and they may be ragey or love bombing attempts. They might call, and I've had this experience too, from new phone numbers or new emails. I had a narcissist create a whole new profile just to contact me. It also might look like those smear campaigns. This is very, very, very common because this is an easy access way. Sometimes narcissists can be lazy. So instead of having to go to the efforts of creating new this or that, they're like, well, we have mutual friends. We have mutual family. I'm already talking to, I'm going to, basically, they will make up stuff about ...
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    16 m
  • In Memory of My Dad: A Prayer for Grief , Peace and Strength in Hard Times

    In Memory of My Dad: A Prayer for Grief , Peace and Strength in Hard Times
    Jun 5 2025

    Well you know I like to be raw. This is a raw one. I lost my dad last night. The pain is horrific. But I wanted to still show up for you and for me and recorded a quick prayer. I felt like we can all always use a prayer, especially in the dark times.

    Please keep my father and family in your prayers and make sure your loved ones know how much you love them. I was able to have so much peace knowing he knew how much I loved and cared for him and nothing was left unsaid.

    XO- Christy
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    3 m
  • Stop Waiting for Closure: Why the Narcissist Won’t Give It (and How to Create Your Own)

    Stop Waiting for Closure: Why the Narcissist Won’t Give It (and How to Create Your Own)
    Jun 3 2025
    Still waiting for the narcissist to give you closure? In this episode, we break down why they can’t — and why you don’t need them to. Join me for 10 minutes of truth + empowerment as we walk through how to create your own closure and finally reclaim your peace. 💛👑 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions: https://christyjade.com/somatichealing ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk Cord Cutting Episodes: Deep Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 Quick Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): Still waiting for that apology, that explanation, the moment when the narcissist finally admits they were wrong. Here is the hard truth queen. It's probably never coming. But the even better truth, we like this one. You don't need their closure because you can create your own. You may not feel like that right now, but I promise you can. So let's dive in and talk about how have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:06) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. All right, welcome back. It's Christie. Today we are tackling one of the biggest pain points in narcissistic abuse, recovery closure. So many survivors feel stuck in this loop of waiting. Even if you are out of the relationship, waiting for the narciss to explain why they did what they did, waiting for an apology that actually feels like an apology or waiting for some acknowledgement that you mattered, that you were valuable to them. And I'm here to tell you closure for narcissist is a myth. Why? Well narcissists operate from this place of ego, not accountability. And this is very important. Pause this and write this down if you can. If you're driving, save this episode and come back to this and write it down because I really think this next statement is very important. (02:37) They rewrite history to protect their false self, not to give you peace. They rewrite history to protect who? Them and their false self. They're not caring about your peace. So closure, it's not about you. They don't care to that level to help you get closure. Why can't they give closure? Let's break it down to the nitty gritty. Narcissists don't take true responsibility. I think most of us know that, but that's just a fact, right? Admitting fault is like death to their ego and they thrive on their ego. Their ego is their identity. So they are not about to go be vulnerable in any way and shine any sort of light on them being responsible or at fault for anything. They often will blame shift gaslight or even flip the script. So you are the bad guy. I mean, how often We are very familiar with the bad guy, right? (03:55) The bad guy. Flip if you have been with a narcissist and whatever, if it's a sibling, if it's a parent, if it's a romantic partner, if it's a friend, you have been flipped to be the bad guy and they may give fake closure like an apology we talked about recently in the recent episodes on apology. Or they might give a fake explanation, but why do they do it? Usually just as bait to pull you back in. They know their lip service will get you back. So even when you think if I just explain one more time or if I just wait until they calm down, no, you're asking someone to give what they cannot or will not give. (04:56) So how do you create your own closure? This is the important part. I know the other part's kind of hard sometimes to digest and to really let that sink in and act accordingly. But this part is really important for your healing. The good news is you don't...
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    12 m
  • Get Your Power Back After Narcissistic Abuse Through This Mirror Visualization (Thrive in 5)

    Get Your Power Back After Narcissistic Abuse Through This Mirror Visualization (Thrive in 5)
    May 29 2025
    Feeling shaken by the narcissist’s fake glow-up? In this 5-minute Thrive in Five, join me for a powerful mirror visualization to reconnect with your authentic radiance — the light no one can fake, steal, or dim. Breathe, reset, and remember who you truly are. 🌸 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 WORK WITH ME 1:1 Somatic Sparkle Sessions: https://christyjade.com/somatichealing Narcissistic Abuse Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause. From the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello. Welcome to today's Thrive in Five. We are doing a mirror visualization to reclaim your radiance. I am so excited for this one. I love mirror work. So if you are somewhere near a mirror, if you can actually either a hand mirror or go into the bathroom and look at the mirror to do this exercise. And if not, you can imagine a mirror in your mind. Yay. It's imagination time. But if you have a real mirror, that's always the best. But you can still do this exercise without one. So let's start by just taking halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, nice and slow, just taking some nice inhales and exhales, releasing the stresses, the tension. (01:17) Okay, let's drop into this moment here. You are safe, you are held, and you are powerful. So whether you're in front of a real mirror or you're imagining standing in front of one, imagine this mirror is magical. This mirror doesn't reflect your hair or your clothes or your makeup. It goes deeper reflecting your inner radiance. So I want you to envision yourself glowing, just a warm, glowing, golden energy, not because of external validation, not because of someone else's approval, but because of your truth, your strength, and your resilience. Notice how this glow moves through you. It's in your heart where you're learning to love yourself. Again, it's in your gut where you've rebuilt or maybe are still rebuilding your sense of safety on many levels. (02:50) It's in your eyes where clarity is returning. Now, notice the difference between this light, your light and the narcissist. External performative glow. Theirs is a flickering neon sign, desperate, desperate, desperate for attention. Yours is just this steady candle, flame, peaceful, unwavering, real light. It's just truth. That's a big difference, right? So you can repeat softly in your mind or whisper aloud, repeat after me. I will make the statement and give you time to repeat after me. The first one is, my radiance comes from within me and my truth. Beautiful. The second, no one can dim this light. (04:24) And finally, I am grounded in my authentic power, right? Authentic power your truth. I want you to really focus on that word truth. Breathe that in. Be with that word truth. This is your truth, your power. Now, let it settle into your body, into your chest, your belly, all the way to your fingertips, all the way through your hips, your legs, down to your toes, feeling that energy. Feel you up with strength, power, self-love, and be with that feeling. Let yourself enjoy it. This beautiful glow of strength, peace, authenticity. And when you're ready, gently open your eyes and carry this light with you today, knowing you are shining from the inside. And no narcissist, no performance, no social media, whatever can take that away. Do not let anyone take your power away. (06:17) That's your thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.
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    7 m
  • Hooked by the Narcissist’s Apology? Try This 5 Minute Reset (Thrive in 5)

    Hooked by the Narcissist’s Apology? Try This 5 Minute Reset (Thrive in 5)
    May 29 2025
    That “I’m sorry” hit different—and now you’re spiraling in hope, guilt, or confusion? 😩 Been there. In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick nervous system drop-in + truth check to get you back to clarity and power. ✨ Save this one for anytime you feel yourself getting reeled back in. You deserve peace, not performative apologies. 💥 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 WORK WITH ME 1:1 Somatic Sparkle Sessions: https://christyjade.com/somatichealing Narcissistic Abuse Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPTS Speaker 1 (00:00): Oh, Queens. Have you ever found yourself hoping that maybe this time they really mean that apology? You get it and suddenly you're questioning everything, your truth, your progress. You're like, wait, this feels authentic. Maybe this time it's real. If you've ever been pulled back in by a narcissist, apology, this one's for you. In just five minutes, we're going to ground that body and reset your clarity so you stop that spiral and stand firm in your truth. Let's go. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:53) Hey, beautiful. Welcome to this Thrive in Five. If you're here, you've probably been hit with one of those apologies. The ones that sound sweet, maybe very convincing, but they still leave your stomach twisted and your head and heart maybe confused. So we're going to do a quick reality reset to bring you back to your truth, not their spin of all the truths. Right? Okay, so first, you know I love getting into my body and yours, but that sounds weird. So we're going to ground your body. You put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly, and take a nice breath through your nose, hold it and release through your mouth this nice halo. Breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. (01:54) Feel your feet on the ground or wherever they are grounded. You are safe right here. Now, ask yourself this one powerful question. What has actually changed in their behavior, not their words. What has changed in their behavior, not their words. Let the silence answer. We both know real change is proven in action, not in apologies. Okay, letting yourself receive the answer. What has changed besides their words? Now, say these three truths out loud and you can repeat after me out loud. Or just let them kind of wash over you. I can miss someone and still protect myself. (03:16) Great, okay? I do not need an apology to move forward, alright? And this is my favorite. Their guilt is not my responsibility. Beautiful. Okay, so this is the reality anchor. Next, I invite you to close your eyes for a moment if you feel safe that way, or else you can leave them open and just set your gaze on one spot. Now, picture yourself outside their story. You're not in the chaos. You're standing firm in your power. See yourself turning toward peace, away from them and their chaos. Maybe you want to give it a dark energy color. I do a lot of energy work, and we often talk with colors about energies to identify different energies and how they feel. So maybe it's a black energy, a red energy. Imagine that, and you're walking the other way toward peace, forward toward peace, leaving behind that chaos, that false hope, that heavy energy that always makes you question yourself. Okay? Walk toward the light. (04:59) That's your truth. That's your direction, okay? So you are walking toward that piece into it, and that is where you are walking. Now, we have shifted, we've pivoted. That was your five minute reset. Might've been even quicker. So you don't owe anyone access to you just because they say, I'm sorry. So let's get that straight first. You don't owe anybody anything just because they said, I'm sorry. You owe yourself your peace. You owe your children if you have them, your peace and teaching them how to create their own peace. You owe yourself your freedom, your healing. That's why you're here deep down, you know you deserve better and you want to break the cycle also for your family members. Stay in that truth. I've got you. So carry this reset with you. Save this episode. These thrive in fives. There's going to be so many we've done, I don't even know how many, maybe we've done about five now every Thursday, save these episodes and return to them. (06:11) You can return any of them to just get a quick reset. If ...
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    8 m
  • Is the Narcissist Really Happy Without You? The Truth About Your Ex Moving On

    Is the Narcissist Really Happy Without You? The Truth About Your Ex Moving On
    May 27 2025
    Wondering if the narcissist is really thriving without you? 👀 In this juicy episode, we expose the truth behind their fake “glow-up” — and remind you why your healing is the real win. 💥 Tune in for truth bombs, affirmations, and your comeback fuel. 🎧✨ Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 WORK WITH ME 1:1 Somatic Sparkle Sessions: https://christyjade.com/somatichealing Narcissistic Abuse Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Ever peaked at their social media and thought, dang, are they actually so much happier without me? Girl, do not be fooled. Today we are blowing up that myth of the narcissist, post breakup, glow up and shining a light on yours. Doesn't that feel better? Good. Stay with me. Be right back. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. (01:04) So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, let's be real. We've all had that moment. Scrolling, stalking, wondering, did they just upgrade without me? Are they the ones thriving? Well, here is the truth. Queen narcissists need to look happy. I'm going to repeat it again. Narcissists need to look happy. We know they have big egos, right? And their ego thrives on performance validation and making you think you lost the best thing that ever happened. That's a real thing. So what you're seeing, it is a curated show. New partner, fancy vacation, all smiles. Yes, they are actually putting that energy designed in a way to trigger you, right? (02:19) But don't get confused with, oh, they want to be with you. And I'm not trying to say this to be mean queen ladies, but this isn't like, oh, you're the only one and you're the one that got away. I love you. But we know what got away was them having control of you, right? We have to remember, all the narcs are really capable of is seeking control, taking control. They don't know how to value and love the way that we do. So we cannot compare them to us or other people we've had experiences and with. But remember this, happiness isn't loud. Healing isn't flashy. Well, I don't know. Some people say that, but I have had some queen moments where, I mean, I've been flashy. I am flashy, but I'm happy. Yes, but there's a different energy that comes off if it's overly in your face, look at me and I did this and I did that. (03:25) That comes from insecurity. And if this is a narcissist you're talking about, this is that fake happiness. It is the flashy that we're talking about. Growth does not need an audience. So here's the thing behind the curtain, right? Because that's on the stage behind the curtain. While you're over here, you're doing your work, right? You are over here listening to the podcast, reading the books, doing therapy, whatever you got going on to try to better yourself, right? Building that the narcissist is running right? They are having a very hard time in a very different way, and they're running from their own emptiness so they can post the photos, they can charm the new supply. This does not mean, ooh, they found someone better than you or that's a better match. They found another victim to control. They found another victim to control. (04:36) I feel bad for those people too. So they can't escape their own dysfunction. You've escaped it. Can you give yourself a little hug, a big fat hug? You have escaped. They're dysfunction that is so good. They cannot. They are stuck in their own damn web and the crash always comes. So this new supply is going to go down at some point as well. You know it if you really think about it. You know that's true. They don't have genuine connections. There's no true accountability and growing and doing better. Just rinse, repeat, destroy. So here's where I want you to flip...
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    14 m
  • The Narcissist’s Apology: Why It Feels So Good (And Why You Still Can’t Trust It)

    The Narcissist’s Apology: Why It Feels So Good (And Why You Still Can’t Trust It)
    May 20 2025
    That apology felt so real. Maybe they cried. Maybe they finally said the words you’ve been waiting to hear. But deep down… something still felt off. 😔 In this episode, we're breaking down the narcissist’s apology trap—why it feels comforting, why your brain wants to believe it, and why it's usually just a sneaky form of control. You'll learn: The 3 common types of fake apologies Why even smart, strong women fall for them How to protect yourself with clarity and calm 🎧 Hit play to get the clarity (and closure) you deserve. <"Grey Rock Method" episode mentioned> https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 WORK WITH ME 1:1 Somatic Sparkle Sessions: https://christyjade.com/somatichealing Narcissistic Abuse Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Ever get an apology from the narcissist that made your heart flutter, like maybe they finally get it and then a week later you're back in the same damn mess. Yes. Today we are breaking down the narcissist apology trap, why it feels so healing and why it's usually nothing more than manipulation in disguise. Hang tight, this is going to be a good one. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:03) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. So I have been there. I have been there. I have been there. You are not alone in this. I've had a couple narcissists in my life and one that I dated was really, really good at apologies because he made them feel really real and very emotional. He would usually pair apologies with flowers or a poem or cookies, my favorite thing, but it always came back to that same spot. He would even cry. There were tears shed, right? And this was a tough guy. So you're like, man, he really cares. He said the right things. I felt seen, heard, validated. In those moments, it felt like closure, like maybe the person who hurt me was becoming who I wanted him to be. Can you relate? (02:24) It's this emotional high when someone who broke you finally says, I'm sorry, your nervous system wants to actually believe that, right? It's not weakness, it's human nature, craving safety and repair. So it actually makes sense and we're here to talk a little more deeply about it. So most narcissist apologies are not about you. I'm going to say it again. Most narcissistic apologies are not you. They are about regaining control. I mean, you could even write this down. Get a pen, ladies and gents, okay? They're about regaining control, resetting the narrative or reeling you back in, which essentially is gaining control, right? So there's three common types of fake apologies. Okay? The narc apologies, we'll call 'em. The first one is the vague one. I'm sorry for whatever made you feel that way. Okay, stop. Just don't even bother apologizing if that's your move. There's no accountability. (03:44) Then there's the second type, the flip one. Okay? It's just like dismissive. I said I was sorry, can we move on? I remember one of the narcs in my life said, can't you just get over it? Literally said, can't you just get over it? That was the response. So they're using the apology as a silencing tool. They want to silence you so they don't have to deal with you anymore. And the third is the strategic one. This is delivered at the perfect time. When you're pulling away, when you're setting those boundaries or gaining strength, they smell it. They hate it. So they're going to deliver the strategic one at the perfect time. They sense you're getting out of their control and what do they want to do? Gain control. They can't stand not having control of you. So real apologies are ...
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