For Ash Butterss, addiction was a constant pursuit of more: more thrill, more chaos, more ways to avoid the emptiness. It started with sugar in childhood, then alcohol at 12, and drugs by 14. She moved from one addiction to another, telling herself she didn’t have a problem as long as she had periods of sobriety.

On the outside, her life looked impressive. She owned a home in Bondi, did early-morning HIIT classes, managed a team, and kept getting promoted. It wasn't until she hit what she calls "the gift of desperation" that she became willing to get sober.

Giving up alcohol meant facing painful truths, including the reality that her marriage was built around shared addiction.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses themes of substance abuse and suicide.

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The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline

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In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.