Send us a text

Okay, y’all...this episode is exactly what it sounds like. A straight-up mind dump. No outline, no script, no co-host. Just Erin, raw and rambling with a million things swirling in my head that felt too important not to share.

I’m talking about what happens when we let our thoughts convince us we’re too broken, too messy, too much. I’m talking about the lie we tell ourselves that if people really saw us—the real us—they’d leave. I’m talking about the brutal truth that healing isn’t soft. It’s loud and gritty and uncomfortable as hell. And I’m reminding you that just because a thought shows up in your head doesn’t mean it gets to run the show.

From watching women rise at Save A Warrior to hearing from anonymous attendees after the Symposium, this episode is a heart-to-heart about surrender, letting go of outdated stories, and finally deciding that you’re worth the work. Worth the discomfort. Worth the love.

If you’ve been walking through the fire lately, I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone in the flames—and that what’s waiting on the other side is real freedom.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Hey friends, this episode is different.

It’s just me, Erin. No Cinnamon, no guests, no clever banter. Just me, a mic, and a story I’ve spent years living and carefully deciding how (and when) to share. I realized recently that we throw around the word “recovery” a lot on this show. Cinnamon and I both reference it, we nod to it, but not everyone really knows what that means. So today, I’m letting you in a little deeper.

This is the Cliff’s Notes version of how I got here. How I grew up in an alcoholic home, lost my mom to the disease, watched my dad find sobriety, and still somehow ended up unraveling in my own addiction. It’s messy. It’s nonlinear. It involves some hard truths about my relationships, the darkness I waded through, and the moments that cracked me wide open.

But it’s not just about pain. It’s about purpose. It’s about the voice I heard...twice...that told me, “You can’t do this anymore.” It’s about the people who showed up when I couldn’t stand on my own. And it’s about what happens when you stop being afraid of your own light and finally decide to step into it.

If you’ve ever felt like you were too far gone, too broken, too messy, or just plain too much...this one’s for you. You’re not alone. Me too, friend. Me too.

Novus Hometown Heroes Program

In partnership with Hometown Heroes, Novus supports community champions by making homeownership more accessible and affordable. This collaboration underscores Novus's role as a catalyst for change in the mortgage industry, aiming to simplify and improve the home-buying journey for those who serve our communities. Click HERE to connect with a branch manager.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

You’re gonna need a box of tissues, because this episode with Captain Chris Moore is equal parts gut-wrenching and soul-restoring.

Chris has over 30 years in the fire service—he’s seen it, lived it, and most importantly, survived it. From hurricanes to heartbreak, Lewis the legendary service dog to losing everything but finding himself—this isn’t just a story about calls and chaos. It’s a testimony of what happens when you finally stop trying to hold it all together and admit you’re falling apart. He walks us through the moment he hit rock bottom, the call he made that saved his life, and the healing that came with EMDR, journaling, Save A Warrior, and leaning into faith.

We talk grief, divorce, addiction, what it means to be a real leader, and why smashing the stigma might still be a little premature (but we’re coming for it). He also drops some serious wisdom about first responder mental health, writing to your new recruits, and what it means to actually be a good human being.

If you’ve ever questioned your strength or felt like maybe it was just you—you’re gonna want to hear what Chris has to say. Because he’s walking proof that sometimes "broken" people make the best builders.

🔥 Key Takeaways:

• You can carry trauma for decades and still heal.
• “I’m fine” is the biggest lie we tell each other.
• Asking for help is the bravest damn thing you can do.
• Safe people matter. The size of your circle doesn’t.
• Service animals save lives—in more ways than one.

Novus Hometown Heroes Program

In partnership with Hometown Heroes, Novus supports community champions by making homeownership more accessible and affordable. This collaboration underscores Novus's role as a catalyst for change in the mortgage industry, aiming to simplify and improve the home-buying journey for those who serve our communities. Click HERE to connect with a branch manager.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

This week, we're giving you a behind-the-scenes pass to the Tactical Tools for Thriving First Responders Symposium. (And spoiler alert—it’s not just another conference.) Erin and Cinnamon pull Kenny Schroeder—firefighter, peer supporter, all-around behind-the-scenes wizard—into the studio to talk about how this event was born, why it still matters, and how it's changing lives four years later.

We get real about the explosion of first responder wellness events lately—(which, yes, we’re thrilled about)—but also dig into the real gap that still exists: the everyday conversations, the rookies who don't know what they don't know yet, and the people stuck in the trenches thinking this is “just the way it has to be.”

Kenny talks about what it takes to shift the culture, how a single symposium literally helped him save his own life, and why it’s not about fancy vendors or swag bags—it’s about hope. It's about getting out of survival mode and into living.

Whether you're a responder, a spouse, a chief, a rookie, or someone trying to find your way back to yourself, there’s something here for you. Come for the pizza, stay for the healing.

Tactical Tools for Thriving happens May 5th in Erlanger, KY—and if you’re feeling the FOMO after this episode, there’s still time to grab your seat. Bring a friend. Grab a rookie. Grab your damn self. Let’s go.

🚨 4th Annual Tactical Tools for Thriving Symposium 🚨

Join us May 5th at St. Elizabeth Training Center, Erlanger, KY, for a day dedicated to first responder mental health. Hosted by Kentucky First Responder Peer Support Team and After the Tones Drop Podcast, this event delivers real talk, resources, and resilience. Mark your calendar and Register HERE!

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

This week, we sat down with our friend Giovanni Rocco, the undercover FBI agent who infiltrated the real-life DeCavalcante crime family—the same mob crew that inspired The Sopranos. But let us be clear: this episode is not just about mob takedowns and wiretaps. This is about what happens after the mission is over—when the badge comes off, the ring comes off, and the world you thought you were serving forgets your name.

From the moment Giovanni joined us, he pulled back the curtain—not just on the operation, but on the emotional wreckage that followed. He shared what it was like to live under five different identities, lie to the people he cared about most, and wake up years later unable to recognize the man he’d become. He talks about raising kids in hiding, being forced out of the home he loved, and watching the system he served treat him like a liability after his usefulness expired. If you’ve ever felt abandoned by the very thing you gave your life to—you’re going to feel this one deep in your chest.

Giovanni doesn’t just sit in the pain, though. He’s done with pity. Instead, he talks about what it means to invest in yourself—mentally, emotionally, and physically. He shares how he rebuilt himself using breathwork, reframing trauma, and staying connected to the people who could meet him where he was. He reminds us that the hardest switch isn’t going from undercover to civilian—it’s going from protector to partner, from armored up to emotionally available. And he tells us why, to this day, he still takes the ring off when he pulls into the driveway.

This is one of those conversations we’ll be thinking about for a long time. It’s gritty. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s funny in that dark, only-cops-and-clinicians-would-laugh kind of way. And most importantly—it’s real. Giovanni may have taken down the mob, but his real legacy is what he’s building now: honest connection, mental wellness, and the reminder that no one gets out of this job untouched—but no one has to heal alone either.Book

Title: Giovanni’s Ring: My Life Inside the Real S

🚨 4th Annual Tactical Tools for Thriving Symposium 🚨

Join us May 5th at St. Elizabeth Training Center, Erlanger, KY, for a day dedicated to first responder mental health. Hosted by Kentucky First Responder Peer Support Team and After the Tones Drop Podcast, this event delivers real talk, resources, and resilience. Mark your calendar and Register HERE!

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

In this intimate, off-the-cuff solo episode, Cinnamon sneaks into the mic without Erin knowing—and we’re so glad she did. What starts as a quiet confession turns into a deeply moving reflection on sobriety, storytelling, and one unforgettable bear.

Cinnamon shares the story that helped her get sober in 2011—a darkly hilarious, soul-punching short story by David Sedaris that spoke to her in a way nothing else could. As she reads The Motherless Bear aloud, you’ll laugh, cringe, maybe cry—but more than anything, you’ll see yourself somewhere in the mess of it.

What hits hardest is what comes after: Cinnamon’s reflections on addiction, emotional numbing, and how sometimes the thing we’re avoiding is smaller than the wreckage we cause trying not to feel it.

This episode is more than a story. It’s a love letter to rock bottoms, raw truth, and the weird little moments that somehow end up saving us.

What You'll Hear:

• The story that helped Cinnamon get sober
• What addiction really protects us from
• Why humor can hit you straight in the gut
• The danger of getting stuck in your own story
• A reminder that healing doesn’t always look heroic—and that’s okay

Takeaway of the Week:

The pain you’re avoiding might be small, but the damage caused by avoiding it can be massive. Feel the thing. Don’t become the dancing bear.

🚨 4th Annual Tactical Tools for Thriving Symposium 🚨

Join us May 5th at St. Elizabeth Training Center, Erlanger, KY, for a day dedicated to first responder mental health. Hosted by Kentucky First Responder Peer Support Team and After the Tones Drop Podcast, this event delivers real talk, resources, and resilience. Mark your calendar and Register HERE!

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

This week on After the Tones Drop, we’re sitting down with someone who tells it exactly like it is—retired NYPD officer Vincent Scotto. With 20 years of experience in one of the most intense law enforcement environments in the country, Vin brings a level of honesty, grit, and self-awareness that hits different. He doesn’t just talk about the job—he talks about what happens after the job, when the structure disappears, the camaraderie fades, and you’re left to sort through the emotional wreckage on your own.

Vin shares how growing up around the job shaped his path, what the department culture used to be like, and how that culture has shifted into something colder, more disconnected—and more dangerous to mental health. But this episode isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about accountability. Vin gets real about the double life he was living, the inner unraveling that came with it, and the moment a clinician told him he’d gone from a rock to a pebble—and he believed it.

This episode is for the first responder who’s struggling to stay afloat. It’s for the one who feels betrayed by their own agency. It’s for anyone who knows how painful it is to show up with heart and get shut down by the system. Vin reminds us that you don’t need rank to be a leader—you just need to drown out the noise, check your ego, and lead with love. And that kind of leadership? It’s contagious.

Want to work with Vin? You can find him on LinkedIn under Vincent Scotto, or reach out directly at vincent@boyz-in-blue.com. (And yes—ladies in blue, you're very much included.)

🚨 4th Annual Tactical Tools for Thriving Symposium 🚨

Join us May 5th at St. Elizabeth Training Center, Erlanger, KY, for a day dedicated to first responder mental health. Hosted by Kentucky First Responder Peer Support Team and After the Tones Drop Podcast, this event delivers real talk, resources, and resilience. Mark your calendar and Register HERE!

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Alright, let’s get real. How many times have you sat there, paralyzed by a decision, convinced that one wrong move is going to send your entire life into a downward spiral? (Looking at you, late-night overthinkers.) Well, Cinnamon’s taking the wheel in this episode, and she’s bringing some serious perspective shifts.

What if there’s no such thing as a “right” or “wrong” decision? What if every choice—good, bad, or straight-up questionable—just leads you down a different road with its own set of lessons? Ever think about how many times you’ve chosen one route and hit every damn red light, only to realize that the road not taken could’ve had a six-car pileup? Yeah. Let that sink in.

In this episode, we’re challenging the myth of perfect choices and unpacking:

• How hindsight bias makes us glorify the “what if” road
• Why a pro/con list is basically lying to you
• How curiosity—not fear—should be driving your lifeAnd why we all need to stop expecting every road to be a freaking smooth cruise

Bottom line? Stop beating yourself up over the choices you made. Every decision, every misstep, and every unexpected detour is a damn good chapter in your story. Now, buckle up and press play.

Takeaway of the Week:
You’ve survived every single choice you’ve made so far—so what makes you think you won’t survive the next one?

🚨 4th Annual Tactical Tools for Thriving Symposium 🚨

Join us May 5th at St. Elizabeth Training Center, Erlanger, KY, for a day dedicated to first responder mental health. Hosted by Kentucky First Responder Peer Support Team and After the Tones Drop Podcast, this event delivers real talk, resources, and resilience. Mark your calendar and Register HERE!

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE