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This story was recroded in front of a live face-to-face audience at Lakefest 2022: Pen & Parchment stage

Warning! This story was created over many years of storytellings with disgusting audiences of snotty little children and shrinking, squirming grown ups. We are proud of that!

This story is an adult free zone. Why? Because it is simply too scary, or too horridly disgusting, for most adults. We know this is true. Kids can handle it. Usually. Adults can’t. Mostly. There are very few grown who can sit through the full telling of this tale. Not without scrunching up their noses, or scrinching up their eyes, or gasping “EEEwwwww” or just saying “Yuk that’s disgusting” before the tale reaches its end. Very brave grown-ups may be allowed to listen, if at least one child will vouch that they can handle it. So now you know that, we can carry on...

This is a folk tale for children, set once upon a time, in a place not so far from you.

Meet the schoolboy Hunch - the village hunchback. Hunch lives in a small village surrounded by a tall forest. All the parents always tell the children, "Don't go in the woods!" When the children ask why, the adults always say, "Because strange creatures called Things live in there! We don't know what they look like, but we do know that anyone who enters that forest, never comes back"!

Would YOU enter the forest if you'd been told that?

Nobody ever dares go in the woods, because of the strange Things that live there.

But Hunch the village hunchback is different from everyone else. He knows it. Everyone knows it. And his arch-rival at school - a boy named Tax who is best at absolutely everything - never fails to use it against him. Tax is Hunch's very own bully - you could say that Tax is 'King Of The Thugs' and makes sure Hunch remains miserable.

Then one full moon after being bullied by Tax, Hunch gets so upset he runs into the forest. He can't help himself. He's not thinking - he's just got one voice in his head. It is saying "Oh why was I born me?" and blinds out all thoughts about his own safety.

In this story where goodness receives its own reward, nobody expects the surprise at hand when Hunch meets the Things. He will never be the same - if only he can survive, and remember to say thank you!

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