On Summer House, it's finally over for Lexi & Jesse and the aftermath rattles the Freedom Dinner, where Gabby emerges as MVP of the whole episode! The Scary Party gives us Ciara perfectly skewering the finance bro population, the Bed Bugs confirming everything invaluable about female friendship, and an elders gathering of Lindsay, Kyle and Danielle (ugh.) where they consider what their next chapters might look like. Time to absolutely NEVER sing “Time to wake up in the morning, MY SWEET FELLOW”(?!!), take a shot of chilled breast milk, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

This is the book Ramona was talking about.

Jesse’s 9 o’clock manicure is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, so – both true to form - Lexi ends it, then Jesse lies about it. Classic. Lindsay takes to Instagram to try to ruin Carl but just comes off like a fool at her Freedom Dinner. Amanda’s bikinis-for-big-bubbies has a preview party, Imrul rode a motorcycle, and Jesse & West’s room (unsurprisingly) stinks like a gym. Time to take down a Dunkin’ Donut, dump your summer fling on a balcony, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

On Summer House, Kyle’s sperm gets certified “dope,” while Jesse IS a certified dope. West is briefly sympathetic, until he Febrezes his clothes. Lindsay is somehow too much while also giving nothing? And Ciara remains a goddess among nitwits. Time to stuff a Kraft single into an olive, rest an injured hand on a pack of frozen chicken, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

Between spells of general partying at the Summer House, we got a real clear look at Jesse Solomon party pooping and generally failing. Meanwhile, Kyle & Schwartz kvetch about being old-dads-to-be. And the girls (except Lindsay) were beacons of boundaries and the exemplification of self-esteem. Time to cook up some eggs with a side of stop-talking-sh*t-about-Lexi and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The Valley was too dark, so we took a detour to Summer House! The boys served up a heaping helping of arrested development, immaturity, and unwarranted Imrul ill-will. And the girls created a landfill crisis but looked real pretty in their costumes as they did it, so… Speaking of costumes, Tom Schwartz may have dressed up like an angel, but his Dark Eeyore energy shined right through! West & Jesse are Beavis & Butthead IRL. And Lexie delivered a pitch perfect performance as she made it known to King Toe-Gate that trust & truth are nonnegotiables. Time to step away from the ice luge, shut down Club Send It, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The final installment of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion brought us The Victim Olympics! And, of course, everyone thinks they won. Kyle boo hoos about marriage, Sutton gets prickly about Ocean Spray, and Erika demonstrates that she is a substance colder than ice. Time to grab a couple bites of a corn dog, please do call your friends/frenemies WHILE they’re in the thick of it, and then tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

In the second installment of the RHOBH reunion, not even Kyle’s amethyst can stand her BS anymore! Kyle is “I know you are but what am I” incarnate, and it is boring and exhausting and entirely on brand. We learned that “You live on a main road in Bel Air” is a sick burn if you’re ultra rich, and that Jennifer Tilly herself is the most important piece of American jewelry! Time to shoot a quick text to PK, grab an emotional support snack, but whatever you do, do not say the name “Morgan” aloud ever(!), and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The RHOBH reunion got underway on April Fools’ Day and the women sure delivered foolishness. Seated right next to Andy were Kyle’s signature tendrils and defensiveness. And filling out the couches were Sutton’s projecting, Dorit’s denial, Erika’s narcissism, Boz’s exasperation, and Garcelle’s resignation. Time to charge your crystals in the sun and call on a producer to “roll the tape” on this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!