What if the thing holding you back isn’t laziness, procrastination, or perfectionism—but fear wearing a clever disguise?

In this unforgettable episode of A Joyful Rebellion, Emmy Award-winner and Fearless Living founder Rhonda Britten shares the unthinkable story of what happened to her at age 14—and the decades-long journey that followed. After witnessing the murder-suicide of her parents, Rhonda spiraled into guilt, addiction, and self-destruction. But a failed suicide attempt became the moment she decided to start over. And she did.

Today, she’s helped thousands reclaim their lives using the Wheel of Fear and Wheel of Freedom, tools that help people stop trying harder and start transforming. We talk about emotional fear vs. physical fear, why most self-help doesn’t stick, and how real change comes through awareness, not willpower. Whether you’re overwhelmed, people-pleasing, or perfectionist-ing your way through life, this conversation will shift how you see yourself—and what you do next.

• [00:00] What fearlessness really is (it’s not skydiving)

• [02:00] Rhonda’s backstory: Emmy-winner, coach, and trauma survivor

• [04:30] The worst day of her life—and the guilt that followed

• [07:30] Alcohol, suicide attempts, and the turning point

• [09:00] The gold star calendar that changed everything

• [11:00] Why knowledge doesn’t equal transformation

• [13:00] What fear actually looks like in daily life

• [14:30] The fear quiz (and how you probably passed it 100%)

• [17:00] Reframing “problems” as fear responses

• [19:00] Identifying your core fear—and how it runs the show

• [22:00] The Wheel of Fear vs. Wheel of Freedom

• [25:00] How shame melts when fear is named

• [28:00] Healing, regret, and radical self-forgiveness

• [31:00] Rhonda’s essential nature: authenticity

• [34:00] Generational trauma and fear in your DNA

• [36:30] Why your worst behavior doesn’t define you

• [38:00] Age, awareness, and how fast change can happen

• [40:00] The #1 fear people don’t talk about

• [43:00] Coaching that actually works—and why

• [46:00] Stretch, Risk, or Die: tools for transformation

• [49:00] Fear as your outdated protector (and how to retrain it)

• [52:00] The difference between venting and complaining

• [55:00] Building sovereignty and agency—one choice at a time

• [58:00] What healthy people really look like—and how to find them

• [01:00:00] Final takeaway: There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just fear.

• Website: fearlessliving.org

• Free Video Class: Stretch Risk or Die | Fearless Living

• Book: Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten

• Instagram: @‌rhondabritten

How do you build a family when the system is designed to tear it apart?

In this powerful episode of A Joyful Rebellion, writer, professor, and father Lane Igoudin shares the deeply human story behind his memoir A Family, Maybe: Two Dads, Two Babies, and the Court Cases That Brought Us Together. Lane and his husband Jonathan were among the first openly gay couples to adopt through the foster system in Los Angeles County. What followed was a three-year legal and emotional rollercoaster that tested their resolve, their relationship, and their sense of justice.

We talk about the failures of the child welfare system, the invisible labor of parenting under legal threat, and what it really means to create family—not just legally, but spiritually and emotionally. Lane opens up about raising two daughters, navigating stigma, building community, and the quiet strength it takes to hold your family together when others have the power to pull it apart.

• [00:00] Grafting onto a new family tree: How love can create roots

• [01:00] Meet Lane Igoudin: Writer, father, and accidental memoirist

• [03:00] The first chapter: curbside delivery and becoming instant parents

• [06:00] Birth, sepsis, and a cooler bag full of formula

• [08:30] Parenting under legal threat: Living through uncertainty

• [10:00] Two babies, no safety net, and a perfect storm of life transitions

• [12:00] Why Lane always knew he wanted to be a father

• [14:00] The landscape of early LGBTQ+ adoptions in the 2000s

• [16:00] Legal limbo: Being married in one state, single in another

• [18:00] Parallel paths: Parenting, career change, and teaching

• [20:00] The emotional cost of parenting through a courtroom

• [23:00] Denied status, silenced voices, and fighting for your family

• [25:00] The problem with “best interests” being decided 30 miles away

• [27:00] What true attachment looks like—and what disruption could do

• [30:00] Building bridges: Allies, moms, and chosen community

• [32:00] Identity, culture, and raising bicultural kids with care

• [34:00] What the girls know, and what they want to know, about their past

• [36:00] Reactions to the book—from readers, family, and adoptees

• [39:00] Why Lane wrote the story he never planned to write

• Lane’s Website: http://laneigoudin.com

• Book: A Family, Maybe (Available via Amazon, Bookshop, and his website)

• Publisher: Ooligan Press, Portland State University

• Instagram: @laneigoudin

• Facebook: Lane Igoudin

What do you do when life hands you a story you never asked for?

Ray Hartjen is a writer, musician, father, and cancer patient who didn’t just survive a diagnosis—he rewrote the narrative. After learning he had multiple myeloma, an incurable blood cancer, Ray chose to reframe instead of retreat. In this episode of A Joyful Rebellion, we explore how a routine blood test cracked his world open—and how he rebuilt it with music, meaning, and the mantra, If not now, when?

We talk about the emotional toll of illness, the power of perspective, and the roles we take on when everything changes. Ray shares what it means to show up fully, how support groups shaped his recovery, and why he believes in “punching the day in the face.” Whether you're facing a life detour or just waiting to start the next chapter, this conversation is a powerful reminder that clarity often follows chaos—and it’s never too late to begin again.

• [00:00] Opening reflection: Clarity after crisis

• [01:00] Meet Ray Hartjen: writer, musician, father—and cancer patient

• [03:00] A routine blood test leads to a life-changing diagnosis

• [06:00] What 90% bone marrow cancer looks like when you feel “fine”

• [08:00] Reframing the story: Same roles, new lens

• [10:00] The “mixing board” model of healing: mind, body, spirit

• [12:00] The timeline exercise that redefined his urgency

• [15:00] “If not now, when?”—and the motto that lit a fire

• [17:00] Book 1: Immaculate and the Steelers’ role in Pittsburgh’s revival

• [20:00] Why big dreams require small steps

• [22:00] Advice for anyone with a full journal and an unfinished dream

• [24:00] What support groups reveal about the healing journey

• [26:00] From patient to advocate: reaching back to pull others forward

• [28:00] Hesitations, control, and why vulnerability builds strength

• [30:00] What not to say—and what to say instead when offering help

• [33:00] Book 2: The Indy 500 and chasing long-held passions

• [35:00] Making music, dreaming bigger, and playing Vegas

• [37:00] The hardest conversation: telling his daughter

• [40:00] Grace, grit, and why the world needs your story

• [43:00] Final encouragement: “You are stronger than you think”

• Website: rayhartjen.com

• Book: Me, Myself, and My Multiple Myeloma

• Book: Immaculate: How the Steelers Saved Pittsburgh

• Book: The Indy 500: A Year-Long Quest… (coming soon)

• Connect on social: @‌rayhartjen (except TikTok: @‌rayhartjen5)

• Email: rayhartjen@gmail.com