Battered Woman Syndrome is a commonly misunderstood condition that results from domestic or intimate partner violence.

Maybe you’ve known someone in such a situation. Or you’ve at least heard stories about it. And you’ve probably thought, Why do you stay there and take it? Why don’t you leave? There are support networks and shelters who can take you in, why not just go?

And wondered, What drives you to try to “fix” the situation and have understanding for your abuser? Why do you act like you owe them a f**king thing?

Judy Henderson, like many battered women, found herself in a situation that most of us couldn’t possibly imagine. I should pause quickly and put in a trigger warning, because this story actually gets worse.

See, Judy was the oldest child of eight in a Pentecostal family, raised by a father who abused her and a mother who kept trying to hold it together. The rule of the day was, don’t air your dirty laundry in public, conform to public norms, and put a positive face on it.

A positive face? Judy ended up in not one, but two, abusive relationships because that’s what she’d been conditioned to. The final straw in her 12-year marriage was when her husband threw her through a glass door window while her young daughter watched before running down the street screaming. Police were called but told her there was nothing they could do.

Her next relationship was with a con man who was fond of reading books about manipulation. He told her what she wanted to hear. One day, he announced he was moving in because she needed him to “care” for her and her children. That they could be a family. And as someone who only craved to be loved, this was.. well… a dream come true.

The nightmare got worse when he ended up murdering someone in a robbery gone too far and Judy found herself as a co-defendant. She was sentenced to life in prison without parole for 50 years, for this murder she did not commit. He walked away a free man. And yeah, there’s more…

Yet… through her time in prison, Judy finally found not only her freedom from a horrible life, but also an ability to forgive and the love she always wanted.

It’s an unbelievably incredible story, and Judy is telling it here on Fine is a 4-Letter Word in a way she’s never shared before.

In a moment, when you meet her, you’ll come away with a revised view on domestic violence, the criminal justice system, and how someone can find hope in tragedy.

Judy’s hype song is "It’s My Turn" by Diana Ross.

Resources:

• Judy Henderson’s website: https://judyannhenderson.com/
• Pre-order your copy of Judy’s book, “When The Light Finds Us” - https://www.amazon.com/When-Light-Finds-Us-Transformed-ebook/dp/B0CR93DD34

Invitation from Lori:

This episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit.

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