A psychiatrist who has dedicated her life to treating global survivors of unspeakable horrors shares the three keys to resilience that we can use to weather stress, loss, and trauma in our own lives.

Some survivors are unflappable, yet it’s not their optimism or grit or mindfulness that carries them forward–it’s that they acknowledge and internalize the inherent instability in their lives. They are using the three tools that allow us to weather life's stormiest seasons: narrative, ritual, and purpose. In her debut book, Harvard and Stanford-trained child and adult psychiatrist Suzan Song draws from her clinical practice, patient stories, research, and public health work to help listeners release their unrealistic longing for stability, and open them up to a new, heathier mindset.

While most of us will not experience the horrors of torture or being held hostage, there are countless uncertainties and dangers that are common in everyday life. From the challenges of tumultuous relationships, work, parenting and personal finances, to upheavals like the pandemic and climate disasters, we find ourselves lost and confused each time our lives are upended. How we cope is shaped by an intricate daisy chain of choices and experiences.

Dr. Song has studied which human instincts and actions can help weather the winters of life, drawing on the visual motifs of the "three friends of winter" in Korean art--pine, bamboo, and plum blossoms--plants that thrive even in the harshest of winters. For all humankind the universal “three friends of winter,” are narrative, rituals and purpose. These three tools require deep reflection, as they can destabilize us as well as allow us to embrace the instability inherent in life.

When we’re enjoying spring and summer, we don’t imagine that they’ll last forever. The same should be true for our own lives.