
Sh-t My Dad Says
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Narrado por:
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Sean Schemmel
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De:
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Justin Halpern
Acerca de esta escucha
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.
An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins PublishersLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- De OpenMindedNotCredulous en 11-17-13
De: Nick Offerman
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Food: A Love Story
- De: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrado por: Jim Gaffigan
- Duración: 7 h y 17 m
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Bacon. McDonalds. Cinnabon. Hot Pockets. Kale. Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet (“choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover”) and decrying the worst offenders (“kale is the early morning of foods”).
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Haven't We Heard All of This Before?
- De Joel en 11-19-14
De: Jim Gaffigan
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Hilarity Ensues
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 9 h y 38 m
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Here's Tucker Max's third and final book in his series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole," and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
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Unbearable.
- De Angie en 04-10-13
De: Tucker Max
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Let's Pretend This Never Happened
- A Mostly True Memoir
- De: Jenny Lawson
- Narrado por: Jenny Lawson
- Duración: 8 h y 41 m
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For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
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Actually, not for fans of Sedaris and Fey
- De BostonMom en 04-29-12
De: Jenny Lawson
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Assholes Finish First
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 8 h y 23 m
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What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."
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Not impressed
- De RLK en 04-05-17
De: Tucker Max
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A Dirty Job
- De: Christopher Moore
- Narrado por: Fisher Stevens
- Duración: 11 h y 50 m
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People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
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Great Listen!
- De Janie en 03-24-06
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Nothing to See Here
- De: Kevin Wilson
- Narrado por: Marin Ireland
- Duración: 6 h y 40 m
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Lillian and Madison were unlikely roommates and yet inseparable friends at their elite boarding school. But then, Lillian had to leave the school unexpectedly in the wake of a scandal, and they’ve barely spoken since. Until now, when Lillian gets a letter from Madison pleading for her help. Madison’s twin stepkids are moving in with her family, and she wants Lillian to be their caretaker. However, there’s a catch: The twins spontaneously combust when they get agitated, flames igniting from their skin in a startling but beautiful way.
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Elevated art form.
- De KayMac en 10-30-19
De: Kevin Wilson
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Bossypants
- De: Tina Fey
- Narrado por: Tina Fey
- Duración: 5 h y 32 m
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- De Warren en 04-07-11
De: Tina Fey
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Sh-t My Dad Says
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- Michael
- 05-08-10
Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
This book had me laughing so hard that I woke my wife up and got curious stares on the bus. While the run time of this audio book is only 3 hours it is the perfect length to get an idea of how Justin's father thinks and you also get a sense that there is absolutely no filter when he thinks something to when he speaks what's on his mind. This very funny book that does use course language because Justin's father is a little gruff! IF you are offended by such language, then stay away.
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esto le resultó útil a 21 personas
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- Bill M. Fuller
- 06-20-10
Surprisingly hilarious!
I must admit that I have been burned by "blogger books" before, so I was very skeptical about this one, a book based on a Twitter sensation. While the Sh*t Mt Dad Says is the only thing I actually like about Twitter, I couldn't help but think that this book would get stale really quick. Halpern, it turns out, is a pretty great writer. He has a great knack for comic timing and dialog (which, obviously, he got from his father) and understands and conveys the complexities of the father-son dynamic with some terrific anecdotes. In fact, I enjoyed Halpern's stories far more than the short quotes dispersed throughout the book. As far as the narrator goes, he reminded me of Ben Stiller, which seemed sort of appropriate, although the gruff "dad voice" takes some getting used to.
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esto le resultó útil a 15 personas
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- Nicholas
- 12-23-11
So funny i listened 3 times
Any additional comments?
This amazing book lends credit to the line
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esto le resultó útil a 1 persona
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- RED49
- 04-25-18
Laugh out loud
Had my husband and I in stiches at times. could totally relate having two sons.
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- J.S.Sparrow
- 07-30-16
Real American Humor from a Real American Family
I actually feel like I now know both Justin and his Dad, and I like them! In spite of the constant F-Bombs, I would still consider this a nice warm Family Read. Probably because they were dropped by Dad and not the Son.
I gave this book 4 Stars because the Author managed to record one anecdote after another while telling an intimate and funny autobiographical story that moved at just the right pace.
The Narration was well done and if the Character's voices sounded a bit amateurish, it only lent to the notion that I had been most fortunate to stumble across this lovely Portrait of true Americana and not a work of fiction.
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- boone
- 03-30-15
Funny and Full of good lessons
Narrator was awesome. It exceeded my expectations. Great stories and insights about being a decent human being. Oh, it is also hilarious.
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- Marie
- 09-03-12
Funny
Where does Sh-t My Dad Says rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
At the top of the list
What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?
Too many to mention
What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?
How he explained his feelings with each event.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When the authors Dad was happy he was sharing his life with everyone, that he really loves him.
Any additional comments?
I bought a copy for each of our children. I am sure everyone will be able to relate to one or more of the events in this book.
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- Lora
- 01-09-15
Great Narration! Funny Story!
This was a lighthearted, laugh out loud, enjoyable audiobook! The narrator was fantastic! There may have been a few too many references to the author's masturbation, but overall, well written. Not having read a print copy, I wonder if it would be as enjoyable, as the narrator's voice he gave the dad added so much to his character. I think the audiobook is the way to go.
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- Leticia
- 03-19-12
very very funny
What made the experience of listening to Sh-t My Dad Says the most enjoyable?
the way it was narrated was spot on.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?
the quotes about growing up in school was the funnest.
Have you listened to any of Sean Schemmel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
this is the first time listening to Sean but i am going to look for more books that he has narrated.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
no
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- E A Anderson
- 08-21-16
what a great time
It was touching and hilarious. The pace kept up, no lulls. The humor and experiences were easily identifiable and entertaining. I am glad and envious of his life with that man!
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